1. This morning I was running late for work. I’m not sure why that would surprise me. Tardiness seems to be my way of life after bearing children, as if the moment they exited my birth canal my internal clock was changed. I’m reminded of the speed-control knob on a record player. As a kid I used to put a record on and slow it down, laughing as the song emitted in super slow motion. I feel like after I had children someone turned my speed-control knob to like 33. The song that is my life still needs to spin at 45 to sound right, but I’m left lagging behind. So naturally, rush about as I might, reenacting my favorite feathered fowl whose head has fallen victim to the farmer’s ax, I still couldn’t manage to get out the door in a timely manner. I cannot explain what miraculous event occurs each weekend, but somehow I have yet to clock-in late in almost two years time now. That apparently doesn’t stop me from trying to break that record every single time I work. Today was no exception. Usually traffic is very light in town via my route to the hospital. If I encounter any traffic at all it’s someone hunting yard sales, and with winter approaching, I didn’t think I’d see any of those. Yet, as I pulled onto the main drag I encountered resistance. I maneuvered through my turn using the yield sign to my full benefit, perhaps testing the traction control of my lightweight car a little too much. I immediately had to break as I arrived behind a caravan of cars. Apparently no one had clued this bunch into the time change, and the light of day brought them out in a horde, a slow moving horde. I picked up the rear with an exasperated sigh, How dare they slow me down when I’m running late! I followed at the snail’s pace, trying my best not to fuss, but it was hard I must admit, and I might just have let a choice word or two slip my lips. It was taking forever behind those slow-pokes, and I was itching to get around them!

2. I often look at my life, and I’m reminded that God really has a unique plan for me. I guess if I was food, I’d be a crockpot meal. I’m definitely not fast food. From the time my life began it just seemed like I was running behind. I remember being the last kid in kindergarten to learn how to tie my shoes. I never knew a father’s love until I was eight years old, and would often tease my dad about his over-protectiveness of me, stating that at 16 years old, I was only then an eight year old in his eyes as we had gotten a delayed start at our father/daughter relationship. I was always a step behind the other girls. I was still secretly playing Barbie in 7th grade. I didn’t technically enter puberty until I was seventeen. Even in college I took the long way around. I completed an Associate of Science Degree in Nursing after nine years of school and enough non-transferable credits to have a doctorate. I did not marry my true love until after 30, and didn’t start my journey of motherhood until after that. It used to bother me, the fact that it took me so long to get to where I needed to be with things, but then I realized it was for a purpose. Experiencing a loveless relationship with my biological father made me appreciate my daddy so much more, never taking his love for granted, or growing too angry when he did things to protect me. I have no doubt that I’m a better nurse after the path I took to achieve my degree, including my Naval service. I can’t begin to imagine the mess I would have made of things if I had become a nurse two years after graduating high school! That works for a lot of people, it just wouldn’t have worked for me. I am so appreciative of how my husband treats me after experiencing my first marriage and the lack-luster love I received from that relationship. Becoming a mom after 30 was the best decision for me. I can give completely to my girls, selflessly with no feeling that I’m missing out on something in life. I got my traveling, my career, and many life lessons accomplished prior to devoting completely to being a mom.

3. This morning, as I waited impatiently behind the turtle brigade, I made a decision. The caravan of cars was traveling my exact route to work, but as they all made my usual turn, I decided to go straight then later turn left. I would cut them off! I drove at breakneck speed, turning quickly through a convoluted series of roads. As I came to the stop sign ahead where I would make my signature move ahead of the group, something unexpected happened. As I came to the stop I watched the three slow-moving cars approach and drive past me. All that for nothing! Sometimes even if you search for a short-cut, racing as fast as you can, it won’t gain you an inch. You’ll arrive to your destination when God intends. We hate to wait, and we hate when things go slow, but sometimes that’s just how God works. I thought about a book by Dr. Seuss called, “Oh the Places You Will Go.” One line reads:

You can get so confused
that you’ll start in to race
down long wiggled roads at a break-necking pace
and grind on for miles across weirdish wild space,
headed, I fear, toward a most useless place.
The Waiting Place…

I like the book, but I might have to disagree some with the good Dr. I don’t believe it’s a useless place, The Waiting Place. I think it serves more purpose than we could ever imagine. It’s in the waiting that God is able to do the most with us, teaching us, preparing us for the specific and perfect plan He has for our lives. We want the end result immediately, but that doesn’t wield the best result. A pearl is not formed overnight, or even by week’s end for that matter. Trusting in God’s perfect timing is the key, waiting patiently (I know, tough) as He sets up each step, and opens the path before us, the path to the prize He has in store.

Proverbs 3:5-6
5 Trust in the Lord with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
6 in all your ways submit to him,
and he will make your paths straight.

I have to remind myself of this a lot, to slow down, to wait, to be still, and in that experience something miraculous… Enjoying The Waiting Place.

That is all 🙂

1. When the chirping of crickets began, I startled. I had been sleeping so soundly, akin to Rip Van Winkle, that when my alarm of insect sounds pulled me from my slumber, I was disoriented. I managed to silence the bug’s song, and laid there very still, forcing my eyes to stay open, and trying to convince myself to make the decision to leave my fortress of blankets. As I pulled back the covers and slid to a sitting position, I felt a chill in the air and had to fight the desire to climb back into the beckoning warmth behind me. At first I thought I just needed to adjust to leaving the solace of my comforter, but then I realized, no, it was really cold. I walked into the hall and noticed the nursery door was open. I glanced at the digital thermostat and was confronted with an actual temperature reading far below the desired setting. I tried a few buttons in vain, and resigned to the fact that I would need to wake my sleeping husband. Being a night owl, he was already aware of the temperature discrepancy, and despite my hopes otherwise, he confirmed that the heat had stopped working through the night. He got up and lit a fire for me, something he had done earlier that morning to warm up the house for his sleeping brood. The heat from the fire traveled down the small hall, and effectively entered the baby’s room through her normally closed door. I felt better then, as if it would be okay after all.
2. Minutes later I stood in the shower, allowing the water to saturate me, pull me awake, and warm my body. Before committing to my journey of cleanliness, I simply stood there, lost in my own thoughts. I thought of my girls, and their recent snuffy noses and fever. I thought, What a terrible time for them to be cold! I thought of the financial aspect possibilities of a broken heating unit. I stood there, allowing the hot water to fall on me, and I realized I was at a crossroads in my thoughts. My thoughts could either go one way, or they could go another. I pushed away the money worries, and I reminded myself that being cold doesn’t make you sick, that viruses do. I chose that moment to say, “Thank you God for this hot shower.” The water truly felt magnificent, covering my chilly body in its enveloping heat.
3. I thought of a trend I had seen this year and years past on social media where people commit to post daily about something for which they are thankful. I recalled seeing people’s initial posts and how some had described thankfulness for multiple family members in a single post. At the time, I had thought, Shouldn’t you write a single post for each family member so you don’t run out of stuff before the end of the month? Standing in the steamy spray this morning I realized how far off I was. You can’t run out of stuff. The list really goes on and on. It’s just a matter of recognizing it. I fall short of this so many times, and I focus on where I lack rather than where I exceed. But this morning I chose an attitude of gratitude, deciding to be grateful for my blessings in spite of problems, and actually in light of them. I chose to be grateful that we had an alternate form of heat to keep us warm enough until something else could be done. This morning I came across this scripture.

Romans 12:12
Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.

As I started my day at work I realized I was in an attitude of joy. I could think of no reason why I would feel so joyous at work other than The Lord. I chose to count my blessings rather than dwell on my problems, (which were more than a broken heating unit), and this decision brought me peace. An thankful attitude brightened my entire day.
That is all 🙂

1. Just as some days can be good days, some days can be bad days, some days are happy, and some days are sad, so can a day be changed by perspective. I can unintentionally sabotage my day be imagining my plight is far worse than it truly is. I don’t know if men do this as much as I think women do, but I believe it’s just human nature across the board. I know I do it a lot, and even though it’s difficult to see your own faults, I’m grateful that I’m able to recognize it more. I found myself today falling prey to a bit of a pity party. I didn’t invite anyone else. It was just for me I suppose. I unintentionally found myself in a situation where I was comparing my life to others. This is never a good thing, and I didn’t even mean to do it, but there it was. I found myself comparing career choices and the resultant income, thinking, Well sure they can afford that! A bad thought is like an infection and simply festers as you go along, sometimes even unknown to you how bad it could be getting. I continued on my day, getting ready for a conference at work. I decided I would attempt to dress up a bit since this is something I never get to do anymore. As I scanned my closet and chose a suitable outfit, my thoughts continued on that horrid, self-pitying downward spiral. After I found an outfit I commented to my sitter, who had complimented me by the way, “This sweater was bought before I moved back to Mississippi and I’ve had these pants forever! I never buy myself clothes anymore!” Once I planted this seed in my head, it was ready to take root and grow. As I sat at my table waiting for the meeting to begin, I cultivated my seed of self-pity by looking around at other women and coveting their wardrobes. That looks brand new and so in style. My clothes are so out of style. I’ll bet everyone is staring at me. (Writing this down really makes me feel silly, but I’ve started now, so let’s press on). I had gotten excited about an idea that might change some situations in my professional life. I suppose anytime we think of change that might improve an unhappy situation we get fired up and ready to move forward. I found my idea trampled today, but instead of seeing it as a closed door, I felt sorry for myself. I guess things will never change! I’m just stuck in an unhappy situation! Sigh. I’m so silly sometimes.
2. I had the opportunity today to speak with someone who was feeling down about life, life in general for herself, and for the ones she loves. She was unable to understand why circumstances were so difficult, and why things had to be the way they were, why prayers weren’t being answered. I think God often speaks to me when I speak to others. It’s one reason that I enjoy writing this blog so much. When I think of circumstances and why they occur the way they do, I often think of my husband. This may be a repeat for some of you, so bear with me, or simply enjoy the reminder. I certainly do. I think back to when my husband and I were 19. I was so in love with that scrawny boy. I knew God had big plans for us! When our relationship ended when I was 20, I was beyond devastated. I was honestly mad at God for telling me we were meant to be together if it was obviously ending. I felt like He had promised me that relationship, and I was angry and confused and sad and broken. I can now realize He did intend for us to be together. We just had a few things we needed to go through before God could use us as a couple. His promises are always true, He just may not get us to them the way we think He should. His ways are higher, and I try to remain in faith with that thought in mind. When times are difficult or I encounter trials, I try to understand that it is all working towards a purpose and perfect plan He has designed specifically for me.
3. If everything worked the way I thought it should, I’m certain it would fall apart somewhere in the middle. I’m just not that great of a designer to iron out each detail perfectly. But my God, He is. It’s okay to forget that every once and a while. Really, He understands. That’s grace. It’s good to keep it in mind though, and try to stop the thoughts that come and make you unhappy with your current circumstances. Most often our circumstances are of our own making, but as you pray and follow God whole-heartedly, you may wonder why those can’t change already. You’re praying faithfully, so what gives? Ahhh, it comes back to the orchestrator of the universe. And He’s not simply toying with you like a puppet on a string. He’s lining up every situation to be carried out perfectly, and He’s also changing you, growing you, and perfecting you as you wait. I’m also a big person on perception. If you ever read my blogs then you know I’m a huge optimist. I got it all wrong today! Earlier my three year old had made a huge mess of the living room. This happens daily, but I’ve been trying to teach her how to clean up after herself. Today I told her she would have to pick up all those toys if she wanted to play on her iPad. She started bawling. When I asked in frustration what was wrong she replied, “It’s too much!” I then instructed her to just focus on one toy at a time, picking up just one until they were all gone. Well, it worked. And we can do that too. Instead of focusing on a conglomeration of our problems, focus on one thing at a time, dealing with it in a state of peace rather than frenzy. It doesn’t seem that big that way. In speaking to someone else about their problems today, I was reminded of my blessings. I don’t have a lot of things others may have, but I also have a lot of things that others don’t have. Make sense? Instead of focusing on the mess of my toys, I can focus on the fact of how many toys I have. I can focus on my blessings not my lack there of. I can focus on where God is taking me while appreciating where I am in the process and enjoying the ride.
   That is all 🙂