If you ever want to feel better about your own outlook on life then perhaps a quick look through your Facebook newsfeed is in order. There you will find the infamous Complaint Department’s actual location. As if ranting your disgruntlement to the cyber world will fix everything, or so it seems; I suppose it does make one feel better. After all who hasn’t vented to a friend when especially vexed. I know my husband is my absolute soundboard for all things aggravating, but there comes a time when you have to realize enough is enough.
Do you know what’s the benefit of complaining? Nothing. There isn’t one. What it will do is fan the flame of discontent within you.
I have a saying I use frequently, and if you know me on a personal level you’ve probably heard it from my mouth a number of times. When asked how I’m doing I will simply answer “above average.” I mean for all intensive purposes, on a scale of one to ten, my bad day at work probably ranks a three when compared to something like shingles. Just saying.
And it’s not to imply that I am better at dealing with my grumbles any more than the next guy, but I have learned a thing or two I thought might be useful to share.
First, if you decide you’re unhappy you will be unhappy. We can always have something in our life that isn’t the best it could absolutely be, but we typically forget that it’s also not the worst. In fact when we resort to complaining about our inconveniences they seem to grow into a much larger animal than they really are. They become the looming monster in the closet when in all reality your problem is probably more like a mouse under the bed if you think about it in the grand scheme of life.
When you complain about a problem it becomes larger in your mind. You have to look for a solution to shrink it instead. And while there’s absolutely nothing wrong with addressing your concerns and discontent to your support system, a repeated series of pointless grumbling does nothing for anyone at all. Not even you.
You can instead voice your angst when needed, but then move forward in a positive way. Look for an alternative to this teeth-gritting dilemma. Change your circumstances rather than swim in a sea of complaint and defeat. Work to alter your situation; don’t just lament over your lot in life. Shine a light of reality on the situation. A little perspective goes a long way, and nine times out of ten seeing the situation with open eyes makes it not that bad after all.
Complaints about your husband’s absence become gratitude for a spouse who works so hard to provide. Griping about your job becomes thankfulness that you’re not unemployed. Or perhaps it becomes action to find something new. Ranting about someone wronging you becomes instead a decision to shake them off, or maybe even a realization that you are often at fault for the exact same thing. Regardless it doesn’t set up a cycle of fruitless complaints, and instead looks for either a silver lining or a solution.
So the next time you’re on the brink of another complaint I would suggest you consider looking at the bright side. Listen, this is something we all could do better at, myself included. If we could count our blessings instead of troubles we might discover we rank pretty good overall. You might even be able to say in the end that you’re “above average.”