- And so I asked him,
Do you think your story has already been written?
Do you think that what you’ve done in the past dictates your future? Do you think yesterday predicts tomorrow?
Do you think what happened in your family predestines what will happen to you?
Do you think how your family treats you or how they see you indicates who you are?
I’ve got news for you. It doesn’t. You write your own story. What happened yesterday doesn’t mean a hill of beans for tomorrow. What others say, do, or react to you… it doesn’t matter.
What matters is what you do from this point forward. -
As I spoke to him I thought of a boy I once knew. I suppose you could say he was a man, in his early twenties, but as I get older and he does not, he is remembered younger and younger in my mind’s eye. We were never very close. He was older than me, not by a lot, but enough so that our interests differed, limiting much in depth interaction with each other. But I remember when I was young watching from afar, the way a little child will do, enamored by his maturity. As I grew older I kept watching. I matured in my own right and became aware that his behavior wasn’t simply exciting, but rather risky and ill advised. He was consistently in trouble with authority of any kind. He had trouble committing to anything, holding down a job, or maintaining any adult responsibility. When questioned about his numerous problems his reaction was always the same. His father had been an alcoholic who shot himself. His parents had divorced. He never felt loved. He was convinced that his upbringing had determined his course in life. Despite attempted intervention by loved ones he continued on his downward spiral. He continued until his untimely death at too young of an age.
-
I see him too often, not just in my memories but in so many young men who come into my care. Something about the stress of life, the struggles along the way, they weigh heavy on a heart, especially one in need of loving acceptance. I see so many who fall victim to their surroundings, their upbringing, and the opinion of others, thinking their station in life has been set, and that there’s no changing it. They fail, and then they end up believing they are unable to succeed. They acquire a defeatist attitude where they are convinced, “I can’t do any better. This is what I am.” They believe every negative word, and even imagine negativity in honest words from a well-meaning friend or family member. I see many after attempting to take their own life. The repeated feelings of worthlessness, emptiness, and defeat become too much to bear. They break.
As I spoke to a recent patient in just such a position I tried to explain that his life wasn’t a pointless cause with no hope for renewal. It could be made new. For example, being a child of an alcoholic may genetically predispose you to an increased risk for alcohol addiction, but it doesn’t make you an alcoholic. Other than the author and perfecter of our life, The Lord, no one or no thing determines the course our life is destined to take. Change is in your hands. You write your own story. As I left my patient he cried, and as I hugged him goodbye I encouraged him, “You don’t have to remember my name or even my face, but remember my words. You are good enough. I believe in you. You can change your story.”
That is all π