- Stay at home Moms get a lot of criticism at times from people who may not understand exactly what they do all day. As a part-time employee at my job and full-time Mom at home, I feel like I’ve seen both sides of the coin. If you don’t know, I’m a RN working in critical care. I work two 12 hour shifts in a row per week. That leaves the other 5 days to work at home as a Mom.
- What does a stay at home Mom do, you ask. My answer: what doesn’t a stay at home Mom do! While you’re wondering what we’re doing; we’re still in our bath robe. No, not because we’re lazy. It’s because we tried to squeeze in a 2 minute shower while the baby was napping and the toddler was occupied with something that wouldn’t kill her. Meanwhile, the baby is awake and hungry and the toddler is on top of the kitchen counter. Then it all starts again; endless feedings, repetitive diaper changes, and a continuous making of nutritious snacks for a finicky yet bottomless tummy, complete with snack plates that accumulate before you can clear the previous ones; all the while cleaning sippee cups of milk that have clabbered after having been stuffed behind the sofa. You can’t get that out of the no spill apparatus! Above stated bath robe is covered with snot, spit up, macaroni and cheese, and poop. No problem. We’ll just add it to the continuous pile of laundry that cycles in and out, day after day. While cleaning, feeding, bathing, and keeping out of harm, we’ll make sure to nurture, hug, kiss, love the children, while teaching right from wrong, and not loosing our temper in the process. We’ll manage to dish out all that love and energy to the children, but still appear attractive to our husbands, giving them the proper amount of love and attention that they require to know that we love them now just as much as the day we got married. Exhausted yet? Well, you can’t be. You gotta prepare dinner, get the kids ready for bed, and hope for some quality time with your spouse before you both pass out cold.
- As I said, I’ve done both. So hats off to working Moms too. You do all of the above when you’re not pulling a 9-5! I’ve decided that both of my jobs are equally challenging. Taking care of my girls all day is like getting a really sick patient at the hospital. With both, I spend the whole time running my butt off, doing the absolute best I can. I end up astounded when I look at the clock and realize how much time has gone by, yet how much I still have left to do. With both, I’m often overwhelmed. With each, when I’ve done the right thing and improved the situation, there’s a fulfilling sense of accomplishment for a job well done. With one, I get paid a check. With the other, I’m paid in love. The one job I could choose to leave if I so desired. With the other, I’m in for the long haul. As I see it, I spend 7 days a week, 24 hours a day working. If you’re a Mom, whether you work out of the home or not; you do the same. I say we take this moment to congratulate ourselves and reach around and pat ourselves on the back. Ok. That’s enough. The baby just blew up her diaper, the toddler is in your make-up, and the supper is burning. Back to work!!
That is all 🙂
- My little, big girl is giving me a run for my money the past couple of days. She continues to astound, amuse, and aggravate me to no end. I’ve been impressed lately with her growing ability to draw circles and color somewhere within the vicinity of the lines. I, of course, try to see the creativity developing and young talent abounding, but this is difficult when she practices on my coffee table. She also decided to color the floor of her new doll house and the arms of her Dora chair. I have no idea when she managed to do this. When questioned, she seems to find it perfectly reasonable and normal to color these objects. She’s so good at arguing her justification that I almost find it difficult to correct such behavior. She truly seems to not understand why it’s a problem. Then I remind myself she’s only two. So we put away her crayons. Yes, again. I know. We’ve done this before! Her response to her punishment: “But I wanna color with them!” Ben said this morning that she’s like a little teenager, just going and getting whatever she wants. She gets in the pantry and gets what she wants to eat. She has learned to scoot the kitchen chairs up to the counters to get to the normally out of reach items. I got a little freaked out at the possible prospects after I realized she had used a chair to reach her Flintstone vitamins and was able to remove the childproof cap to get to the “candy.” Crisis was averted there. I told Ben we’re child proofing more now than we had to when she was a baby. When corrected, she again tries to justify and argue her way out of any wrong doing. We threaten corporal punishment while trying not to laugh out loud at her wit. Just this moment, I go to her room to put in a DVD for her that she wants to watch and discover she’s been trying to do it herself, again. We put the movies up and out of reach last week, but she’s somehow managing to reach them and get them down. Little tiny finger prints on my Disney classics! Ugh. Heaven help me. I just cannot take my eyes off her it seems.
- Today I went and picked up my little Sis to spend the day with us. I had such a good time with the adult company, that I wondered why we don’t get together more often. I could spend every free moment I have doing laundry or something similar, but that’s no fun. She is in her 9th month of pregnancy. Even with my most recent pregnancy being so fresh in my mind, I think we women all too easily forget how tired and sore you get. I suggested to her a trip to Walmart, not even thinking that she may not be up for such a venture. Yes, I know what you’re thinking. And no, I don’t go there everyday! (Just every other day). Thankfully, she humored me and went along. I continue to enjoy watching her grow into a woman and look forward to her upcoming journey with motherhood.
- Earlier I had a complete freak out, meltdown, calgon take me away, I can’t handle this, kinda moment. Since the arrival of Bailey and her crying, Chloe has taken to crying at the drop of a hat. If it works for the baby; right? Today was an especially tearful day. Along with that fun, was a blatant disregard of my authority. She has been disobeying and testing me all day. When we got home from dropping off my Sis, both girls were tired and fussy. I left the groceries in the jeep and immediately fed Bailey. She followed the feeding with a crying jag. She was inconsolable. As I patted and paced, Chloe shut her door. I went to check on her and it was obvious she was taking a poop. Since she was already started, I let her continue and with privacy. Minutes later I peeked in. The baby is screaming. Chloe had climbed on the dresser and gotten into her big sister’s perfume. I set down screaming baby and Chloe got in trouble. Back to consoling baby. The next minute I hear Chloe say “It’s doodoo!” I see brown on her white shirt. Yes. She has decided to finger paint with her own poop. Baby is still screaming. Regrettably, I actually called my husband and told him I was gonna kill the children. He knew I didn’t mean it, but as I sat in the recliner with the crying baby and a naked Chloe in the floor (recently scrubbed clean), I heard him pull into the driveway. He assured me work was slow, so it wasn’t a problem for him to leave, but I felt horrible. No mother of the year award there! Ahhh. Chloe is in Ben’s lap, no doubt happy for the attention. A smirking baby sits in mine. Remember when I’ve often said”never a dull moment.”? Well, there ya go. Please feel free to laugh or even say “I remember days like that!” I know I’ll look back on this one day and do the same. One day.
That is all 🙂
- First off, I’ll say that this is a 2nd draft. I had written 2 other facts and when I got to # 3, I realized it was such an in-depth and important subject, that it deserved its own post. I learned today that someone I know received a diagnosis of cancer with a poor prognosis. Bad, right? Well, the other side of this story is that this person is guilty of doing terrible things to someone I love. When I say terrible things, I mean things that would cause you to either hate a person or sweep the events into the back of your mind so you can escape the fact that you can’t possibly fathom forgiving them. This is my guilt. This is my dilemma.
- When I first became a Christian I learned all the awesome stuff, like Jesus loves me and died for me. Then I learned the hard stuff, like taking on characteristics that favored Christ. Forgiveness. No problem. Lord, I forgive that man who just cut me off in traffic! I’m a super Christian! Yeah, right. Then you realize that true forgiveness is hard,and that’s when you can truly appreciate how wonderful God’s gift of forgiveness of our sins is. When I first learned that forgiveness could further my relationship with God, I had the perfect test case. My biological father had left me. He had taken off, taken all the $, and actually left me to play alone on the streets of L.A. when he jetted to the bank. He stole from my piggy bank. He lied to me repeatedly. He hurt my Mom. But I think what hurt most was that he had no problem signing over his parental rights when my Dad adopted me. It was for the best and I love my Daddy, but I felt rejected that my biological father could give me up so easily. It took a year from the time I decided to forgive him, until the time I felt like I actually had and could contact him and tell him so. Forgiveness is hard. But after it was done, I felt free. I felt a weight lifted.
- With the incident I mentioned in # 1, I’ve purposely ignored my obligation to forgive. I’ve swept it under a rug of anger. Today, addressed with this person’s mortality, I felt the issue brought to the forefront of my mind. I made a difficult decision. I decided to pray for this person. I prayed that God would use this illness to draw the person into a relationship with Him. I prayed for healing that could cultivate that relationship. I reflected on God’s character and remembered that despite the horrible actions, this person was a child of God. God loves that person and is saddened, but never stops loving them. I realized that as I prayed for this person and reflected on how God saw them; God brought that forgiveness to my heart. It wasn’t something that I did, but something God did in me. And there’s peace in that. I encourage you to seek forgiveness, even when it’s hard. Perhaps someone needs to forgive you. When we can’t, God can.
That is all 🙂
- Chloe was playing with my phone earlier. I have an app on there that I got when she was just a baby. They touch a picture of an animal and then it says the animal’s name and makes the animal sound. She chose to play that game today instead of something else. As I watched her play, I recalled a video I took of her playing it before. She was holding onto a table to keep herself standing, and every time an animal made a sound, she would bust out laughing with that bubbly, baby laugh. Today as she played, she would say “Watch Mom. I like the cat. I don’t like the bison. It scares me.” Quite different reaction. This is just another reminder that my baby is growing too fast. She’s over there eating Doritos for goodness sake! I never imagined, not long ago, giving her Doritos (too much of a choking hazard). Even as she wipes her Doritos hands all over her shirt and the sofa, I see Bailey wearing a sleeper Chloe used to wear and it’s almost incomprehensible. I can’t believe how big my 1st baby is getting. And this comes to me on a day of such hormonal stability that I found myself crying over 5 different things I saw on Facebook this morning, in the space of 20 minutes or so.
- On the other side of the coin, I gotta remember that Chloe is still only two, and therefore demands/requires my utmost attention. Around 1:00 today, I realized that all three tv’s in the house were playing Dora. I took a stand, and despite Chloe’s objections, I put the TV on my DVR of American Idol to watch as I nursed the baby. Chloe went to my room to watch TV. After a few minutes, my Mommy sense whispered in my ear “she is very quiet back there.” I took Bailey balanced on the Boppy, still nursing, into my room and found Chloe on the bed with a pile of nicotine gum beside her. She had found this forgotten treasure in Ben’s nightstand. She showed me where she got it. It was right next to three different pocket knives. She didn’t get any of the double wrapped gum packets or difficult to operate knives open, but it was a nice enough reminder to me that I must still remain diligent over my toddler despite being busy with a 6 week old infant. As I was writing this, I smelled something poignantly wafting from her room. She had her older sister’s perfume she got for Christmas. It had been pushed to the back of the dresser so I curiously wondered aloud how she got a hold of it. She quickly said “watch” and proceeded to pull out the dresser drawer and use it like a step stool. I got some busy months ahead of me people.
- Aside from being super emotional today, I am also really tired. Since Sunday I’ve noticed some mild, nagging congestion in my chest. It reminds me of what I had while Chloe and Ben had the flu. I’m not really surprised that I keep getting sick. I’m not getting adequate rest and my infant sucks the immunity out of me every two hours. I’m not complaining though. I know it will get better soon enough. This morning when Bailey started stirring at 7:30, I will admit I was not ready to get up. Bailey is a different baby than Chloe was. If Chloe was upset or crying, whether it was boredom or whatever, I would nurse her. She would eat and fall asleep. I ended up with a fat baby who only wanted her Momma’s boobie. It was my solution to everything that ailed her. Well Bailey only nurses if she’s hungry. If she’s sleepy more than she’s hungry, she will cry if I try to nurse her. This requires me to use other means of comfort and entertainment. As a result, when she’s ready to wake up, I can’t nurse her back to sleep like I could Chloe. We gotta get up and go play till she’s ready to go back to sleep. It’s not bad or anything. She smiles the whole time. My point right now is that I was not feeling it this morning. Enter the amazing spouse. He took her before he had to go to work and I got another hour of sleep! I let him sleep in yesterday, but I’m glad that he’s the kind of guy to repay the favor. I’ll have him a nice dinner when he comes home. Teamwork.
That is all 🙂
- My poor husband is outside trying to play with his dog. It’s cold out there and it’s almost dark. It’s only 5:30, but dusk is in full swing. I am ready for Summer. If we weren’t both so close to our families, I would definitely suggest to Ben that we move even further down South, to the beach. The warm sun just makes me feel good. I love how the days seem longer. I love how Chloe gets to play outside and look so healthy with some color on her face. I feel like I’m getting some chest congestion again too, and am ready for this season of sickness to pass on by. Ben has Monday only, to get his “man stuff” done outside and we usually end up going somewhere together during the day. By the time we get home, daylight is gone. The dog needs to play. Chloe wants to play. My boxes of Christmas decorations want to be put up in the shed. There’s still 24 hours in a day, but the lack of sunshine makes everyone a little sleepier and you somehow get less done that you can on a day in June.
- Where did we go during our daylight outing? Where else do you go in a small Southern town? Walmart of course! It is Chloe’s favorite destination. She rode the tiny carousel as always. She also thinks that the McDonalds in Walmart is better tasting than the full size McDonalds across town. She is such a joy to take on a shopping excursion. She thinks she is too big to sit in the cart and insists on riding on the back. Since I can’t see over the infant carrier on the front of the cart, it’s a constant battle to watch and not run her over when she jumps off. She’s started constantly saying “Watch Momma!” So she’s always doing some stunt she believes to be truly fascinating to see. “Watch Momma!” So I watch as she skips blindly into the main aisle barely missing a run-in with another shopper’s cart. Then Bailey wakes and is ready for a feeding. I found myself wondering why so many men were walking past me while I was on a bench nursing the baby. Then I looked up and realized I was sitting in front of men’s work boots. Next time I’ll take position across from the fuzzy house shoes instead. Bailey took it all in stride. She is getting very fun now, having grown out of the newborn stage. She smiles all the time! She can mostly hold up her head on her own. Ben and I got the two items we needed and also a cart full of things we didn’t go there for (like new crayons, a coloring book, and hair bows).
- We also went by the movie store. After the girls go to bed, we’ll have our date night in the bedroom. I’m gonna make a cake from scratch I saw on Pinterest today. Popcorn, cake, movie, my sweetie; sounds good to me. I noticed that the young fella in the movie store has been working there since Ben and I got married. He has seen us come in there as a dating couple, then newly weds, me pregnant with Chloe, and us carrying Chloe in the infant carrier. Now he sees Chloe running around and a new baby in the same carrier. My main thought about the whole thing though was how impressed I was at a young guy keeping the same job for so long. I guess I was a job hopper as a kid. In high school and college I worked at several places: Sonic, Kmart, JCPenney, Shoney’s, Chuck E Cheese, Lowes, Renasant Tower, 2 different hospitals, Waffle House, a furniture factory (for four hours!), a pipe factory (liked that one actually). The Navy finally took the jumping bean out of my pants. Maybe I was looking for my place in this world. Maybe God was trying to get me to where He wanted me to be, but I wasn’t listening yet. I still think He’s got plans beyond what I could imagine. But what’s different now from then, is that I try to be still and allow Him to open and close doors in my life rather than running and searching. Even when a storm comes in your life, it may just be God’s wind blowing you somewhere new.
That is all 🙂
- My baby just gave me a huge, toothless grin! I was so happy to see her when I got home. Of course, I missed her because I love her, but I admit I also had ulterior motives. I’ve discovered the most difficult thing about working a 12 hour shift right now. I know what you’re thinking. How can anything about my glamorous job be difficult, right? I mean where else will a co-worker say to you, “I’m gonna go get something to eat. Can you listen for Mr. Smith and help him back to bed and look at his poop?” True story. It happened today. Anyway, back to the difficult thing. It’s breastfeeding. I pump at work, but a machine can only do so much. It can’t truly remove all the milk, so by the end of the day, I’m hurting. When I got home, she showed that pump who was boss. And, I got rewarded with that smile.
- When I came through the door, I was greeted by a happy little toddler. There is nothing better than having someone run to you, full of excitement to see you. She stood there looking up at me as I took my coat off and impatiently said, “Hug me Momma!” Bailey was still napping when I first came in, so I sat on the couch with Chloe. She asked “You gonna wake the baby, Mommy?” I replied, “No. I wanna play with you.” I could see the delight on her face and it made me feel good. We were able to play Barbie for quite a while before Bailey woke up. I been missing my Chloe time.
- Before I did any of the above mentioned things, I made a point to greet my groom properly. While no longer newlyweds, and often busy with children; we always make time to share a kiss. It’s not just a brush of the cheek, but rather a true moment where our eyes meet when we say love you, and even the briefest, chaste kiss is full of emotion. Today was Ben’s first day alone with both girls. They were all three awake when I left this morning. I know it’s been a long day for him. I’m proud of the wonderful father he is and I plan to tell him so. Never forget to thank your spouse, for even what may seem the smallest of things. Grateful words go a long way.
That is all 🙂
- These facts will likely be shorter than usual, for I am bone tired. Today was my first day back to work. I got up quite early, earlier than usual, even for a work day. I have to fall back into, not just getting myself ready, but giving the time to nurse the baby and pump the rest for a bottle. She was fast asleep when my alarm went off, so cute swaddled up tight. As soon as I got out of the shower, I could hear her crying. Poor Ben. I went to her with my wet hair in a towel. My plan was to fill her little tummy and send her to snoozeville. Nope. She was wide eyed and I had to pass the torch so I could finish getting ready. I felt bad for Ben. As I was getting ready to leave, I peeked in on everyone and prayed for them all. Ben and Chloe were cuddled up together in bed. Bailey was asleep in her bassinet and had a huge grin on her face; a big open mouthed, gummy grin. It tugged at my heart. So hard to leave! As I gathered my coffee and bags and pulled the back door shut, I heard the baby start crying. So hard to leave!
- Well, it wasn’t too bad of a day! I prayed myself up and heard a good song on the way to work. My passwords were all expired right off the bat. I had forgotten to buy some of the breakfast bars I like to eat on work days. Too bad I did, since I didn’t eat the first time until 4:30 this afternoon. That is typical lunch time for a nurse; if you get lunch at all. I will not for privacy reasons go into details about my patients, but they were definitely worthy of a stay in a critical care unit! One patient was very sick and kept me on my toes and very busy. I tried to keep an optimistic attitude though. After all, he did stabilize in time for me to get my charting done. It could have been much worse. I actually thought it was good for me to have such a critically ill patient on my first day back, for it boosted my confidence in my abilities to handle such a situation. But I am truly thankful for the helping hands of my co-workers through it all! Several times through the day, I would feel my chest tingle and know that it was time for Bailey to eat. Made me kinda sad. I did make time to pump, for Bailey’s sake and mine. Once right before a pumping session, I was pushing an empty wheelchair with an IV pole on it and ran into the door frame, knocking the pole into my full breasts. Ouch! Wouldn’t recommend that one. Overall, though, my first day back was not near as bad as I had feared. God answers even the simplest of prayers.
- Once you have kids, going home after work is never the same. I left the hospital in the small car and made my first stop at Ben’s work to switch vehicles. He had the SUV with carseats. I next went to pick up Bailey. I was relieved that she did so well today. Chloe had never been a fan of the bottle and I always feared she’d starve rather than take a bottle. No worries there with Bailey. My little chubby likes milk however she can get it; and all day according to my Mother-in-Law. We packed up and headed home where my Aunt was watching Chloe. Those two had played all day and Chloe was full of stories about her day. She talks so fast and is so hyper after I’ve been away at work. But I didn’t mind a bit. Ben is home now and we have a little time together. You wanna know the best thing. I only have one day left, then I’m back to Mommy duty for a week.
That is all 🙂
- I really think I could write an entire blog daily just on Chloeisms (the amusing thinks my toddler says/does). It’s never a dull moment with a toddler. Sometimes it laughable, while other times you want to scream in frustration. Since the arrival of the new baby, I think I tend to savor Chloe’s idiosyncrasies a little bit more than I did. This morning while I was rocking the baby to sleep, she decided she didn’t want to wait any longer for a bath. So she stripped down naked and joyfully ran around the room yelling “I love being necked!” Then she fell onto the floor shrieking, “Look Momma!” She was throwing her legs up above her head like some kind of yoga pose. I said “Wow, I wish I could do that.” She replied, “You can’t do it cause you’re a Momma. Only big girls can do it.” She leaves me speechless quite often. I put her in the bath. As I started to wash her hair she screamed, “No Momma. Don’t wash my hair. I wanna be the stinky kid!” Yes, she’s really only two and no, I have no idea where she gets this stuff. I washed it anyway and she started screaming “Hola!” Not sure why she thought screaming hello in Spanish would make me waver. After the bath, she wanted to eat again. First, I have no idea how she stays so darn skinny. Secondly, am I the only Mom who feels like I’m constantly making food? It’s like my day is divided into meal and snack times, especially with feeding the sweet little vampire every two hours. Chloe now things she can read and will tell me what the directions on the food packages say. The little princess also insists on eating her chicken nuggets with a fork. Yep. Never a dull moment.
- I spent a little while balancing the checkbook earlier and paying a few bills. I haven’t had time to keep up with it as much as I would like, so I had some catching up to do. (Like it’s not already my least favorite thing to do). It’s hard to balance and thing ahead very well. I’ll start getting a check again in the next couple of weeks, but my back payments of insurance will be garnished from my pay, so I’m not sure it will be much of a check at all. As I balanced, I noticed all the deposits from Ben’s check and felt proud to have such a hard working partner. I have always been so self reliant financially in the past. Disability was certainly not as good as I hoped it would be. So I found myself really depending on my spouse to be able to provide for the family. I’ve always depended on me! Haha. Laughable. I’ve enjoyed this growing experience for me. I’ve learned to put more trust in God to provide. I’ve learned to allow my husband to take the wheel and provide for me. It’s been wonderful to relinquish that control. I’ve seen God mold us both, lift us up where needed, and put us (me really) in our place as needed too. I think that as I’ve learned to rely on my spouse, it has in turn given him joy and a much needed sense of pride in being the leader of our family. I love watching God work in our relationship and strengthen our bond, while helping us to grow together in Him.
- I think we all have dreams or desires for certain things in our life. Some are big, some are small. We often call out to God about these things. We pray about it, without ceasing, right? Just last night, Ben was talking to me about the Father Heart of God. He said that God loved us like we loved our girls, and that He would do anything for us like we would our girls. But sometimes Chloe may ask us for something that we know she’s not quite ready for yet. That easy bake oven may burn her. I have been praying to God about a desire I have. I asked Him this morning, as I dedicated my day to Him, that He speak to me about it. The first verse I read was in my Bible app as the verse for today; Psalms 46:10. Be still and know that I am God. First you should know that this is a very personal verse to me that God has used in the past to speak to me. When Chloe was around 7 months old, I was struggling with a personal/professional issue. I had been praying about it a lot. As I put Chloe down for a nap at that time, I felt like He spoke to me saying “See how that baby squirms about, fighting sleep. That is you. You’re just like that baby. You need to be still and know that I am God.” He brought that verse back to me several times over the next few months. I remember being in a meeting at work. I was getting frustrated at how things were proceeding. A co-worker passed me a note under the table. It said, Be still and know that He is God. I had not told her about this at all. God answered my prayer then, in His perfect timing, after I learned to be still and trust Him. I was comforted this morning when He reminded me of the power of this verse in my life and how He can move. The next devotional I read featured Hebrews 10:36. Patient endurance is what you need now, so that you will continue to do God’s will. Then you will receive all that he has promised you. Wow. Isn’t God amazing?! I certainly think so. This comfort and peace comes to me just when I need it. I will be still. I will trust. I will continue to seek Him first, and watch His blessings pour into my life.
That is all 🙂
- I can’t believe it’s already 6:30 pm. Time is such a crazy thing. Why does it seem to fly by the older you get. I never remember it going so fast when I was a child. Even when I was in my twenties, it didn’t seem like the months flew by like they do now. Looking at my recently printed pictures, I see a fat baby Chloe in the images from when we bought the house. It doesn’t seem like we’ve lived here long enough for Chloe to go from chubby, bald baby to a skinny, tall, long-haired little girl. But apparently we have! It doesn’t seem like it’s been that long since I got my hair cut and highlighted, but my roots tell a different story! I said to Ben yesterday, “I hate my hair when it gets like this! Look at these dark roots!” He replied, “I don’t understand why you don’t dye that part too.” Y’all, he was serious! I said, “Are you serious?!” And he just looked confused. I explained that was where my hair had grown. It also doesn’t seem like 6 weeks has gone by since Bailey was born. But guess what; it has! Today I had had 6 week appt. with my OB-GYN. The past 6 weeks have flown by and I’m kinda mad about it. During the majority of the time we were dealing with a lot of sickness. Now that both children are feeling better and Bailey is starting to smile and interact with me, it’s time for maternity leave to end. My Dr. asked me “Are you ready to go back to work?” That’s like when the card processor at the store flashes up the question “amount ok?” When my bill at Walmart is so much higher than expected; I always want to press No to see what would happen. It was the same with the Dr’s question. I said no to wanting to return to work, but yes to needing to return to work.
- I took my return to work slip by my job. I had left Chloe with my Mother-in-Law, but took Bailey with me. She was very good. She’s an excellent baby overall. During my appt. she napped in her carrier. I have a white noise app on my phone that I played as we waited. During the appt. she simply stared up at the Nurse as the Dr spoke to me. When I took her into the hospital, I wore her in the sling. It’s always kinda fun to see the reaction of people seeing a little baby strapped to my chest. I really enjoyed showing her off. She was a little star that shined so bright. She smiled, cooed, and slept sweetly with her cute little baby booty sticking out. It was nice to see familiar adult faces of work friends and speaking with them, laughing together, made the thought of my return seem a little better.
- My little sister came by to see me after we got back home. Today is her 22nd Birthday. That is just an astronomical example of how time can fly by. It’s insane that a baby girl I held is now 35 weeks pregnant with her own little baby. I’ve enjoyed sharing a pregnancy with her and even though I know the time will fly by way too fast; I look forward to seeing our children grow up together. I talked with her about her impending new baby and joked about constant crying in infants. In all seriousness, I know she will do well. I know she will soon be able to experience the joy that comes with the work of having a child. I’ve tried to explain to her how your heart changes with a child and you develop a love feeling like you never knew possible. I also explained how you will daily say things you never thought would come out of your mouth. Today I said, “Get the horse off your sister’s head.” Yesterday it was, “Get out of the bath and get that spoon out of your poonie.” I am daily experiencing new, deeper, more challenging, and more rewarding aspects of being a Mommy. Some aspects you want to go fast. Others you want to slow down. I’m just thankful that God gave me this special gift and entrusted me with the job of loving these girls and showing them His character.
That is all 🙂
- Heading home in rush hour Memphis traffic. Thankfully, I’m not driving. My Mom thrived in Memphis traffic, but I’ve never been a fan of risking my life. I used to drive in the DC, Metro area traffic and I didn’t like that either. I still recall my first day in rush hour there on the Beltway. I began to cry and beat my hands against the windshield. Then I noticed the poor guy next to me. I really had him worried for my sanity. Anyway, I keep peeking over at the baby in her seat, who currently remains awake and I keep saying little prayers under my breath that she’ll fall asleep before she decides she’s done with not being held. She’s starting to make inpatient little grunts, so it will really be a miracle for her to fall peacefully asleep in this stop and go. Chloe is also without nap. I can see her rubbing at her eyes and bouncing around as best she can in her carseat to fight off the evil hands of the sandman trying to drag her under. She amazes me. She could give James Bond a run for his money, if fighting sleep is anything like resisting torture tactics to elicit information. But, alas, even a warrior can only fight so long. She has given up the fight and gone the way of the nap. Bailey, on the other hand, went full on shrieking eels from Princess Bride. I had to employ the pacifier. Sometimes it works. Sometimes it doesn’t. Sometimes she acts like I’m sticking a baseball bat down her throat and gags and sputters. Other times she suckles it like the sweet, purple, rubber nipple it is. Thankfully, today it worked and she is suckling her way to drowsy town.
- Why Memphis rush hour you ask. We are coming back from a fun filled day at a place called Incredible Pizza. It was a lot of fun. I’m glad we went. When invited, I almost said no. You never know how a young baby will react to a long car ride and a day out away from familiar routine, but I really wanted Chloe to go. They offered to just take Chloe, but the thing is, I really enjoy seeing her have a good time. The excitement on her face makes any struggles worth while to me. She did have a good time. The trip was different with two, instead of one. But I recall it being different before one, as well. I love playing games. When I used to go to kid’s parties at places like this, I would run around with tokens, getting tons of tickets, just like one of the kids. I even worked at Chuck E Cheese in my early twenties as a game room attendant. All I had to do was go around playing the games and winning lots of tickets to inspire little patrons to spend more tokens. After you have a child, you still get to play, but you spend more time playing games that are fun for them and they get all the tickets! Sorry basketball game and skee-ball. A majority of your tokens will now go to a pink car that jostles it’s tiny rider up and down, but not too fast thankfully. Today was even more of a transition. Bailey couldn’t play at all. Can you imagine?! All she could do was lay in her 800 lb infant carrier and nap intermittently. In between brief naps, she insisted on eating quite frequently. And since she’s so darn cute, I couldn’t just sit her down and take off. I had to keep an ever present eye on her. I joke. She actually did really well. She never got fussy. She ate and napped. And don’t be fooled. I got to play too. Others watched her while I rocked out at laser tag. Talk about fun!
- At one point, my Mother-in-Law watched Bailey while I took off after Chloe. We were out of $ on our play card, but she was happy to just run around from game to game, testing out each one. At one point, she sat in every seat of each race car game, turning the steering wheel and changing gears. There were like 20 of them in a row. It’s amazing what you’ll put up with when you see your kid is having fun. After the extensive test drive session, I suggested we go get something to drink. We took off for the dining area and got some fountain drinks. I also got us each a slice of pizza from the buffet. As we sat down together to enjoy our snack, it hit me what a nice moment it was. It was just the two of us, and I had really missed that. I love the baby, but Chloe will always be my first little baby. I hated for the moment to end, but as I saw her chomp on the last bite, I knew we better head back. It made me realize that I’ll have to make time for more moments like that in the future. The only thing missing from the day was my best friend’s presence. I know Ben would have had a blast. I love how he’s such a kid at heart. We love to play and I will definitely be returning there with him, if only to kick his butt at laser tag!
That is all 🙂