I’m not usually one of those competitive moms, but what good is social media and the Internet if you can’t brag about your kids, right? Aside from taking a picture when they’re wearing a new, expensive outfit, being exceptionally nice to one another, or when I catch them doing something that makes them appear like Jesus-loving angels and simply sharing those highlight reels that paint me as a stellar mom, I thought I’d share today some specific things that my children do that are truly remarkable to me. Like, mind-blowing.
So, here’s 20 remarkable things my children can do!
1. Fight over ridiculous nonsense. Like, throw-down brawl over a scrap of gum wrapper.
2. Talk for thirty minutes straight, without taking a breath, about nothing.
3. Eat an entire week’s worth of groceries in one day.
4. Completely undo, in twenty minutes or less, any house chore I have done.
5. Change their tastebuds from one week to the next.
6. Hate something venomously without ever actually trying it.
7. Persevere through an outing of their choosing like Lance Armstrong on a pleasure ride around the block, yet somehow loose the ability to take steps when in the grocery store with me. Aka, I’m soooooo tired.
8. Not have to pee when we’re leaving the house. Have extreme desire to pee in their pants once we have left the house.
9. Miraculous ability to become extremely bored regardless of mount of toys in their room.
10. Not to be confused with… the ability to suddenly become extremely interested in their toys right after I clean their room. The right way.
11. Not to be confused with… their ability to forge a strong connection with a formerly forgotten toy when it is labeled “giveaway.”
12. They can also watch oddly animated adults play with toys on YouTube from now until Jesus comes back, without a break from the screechy-voice monotony.
13. They can adore getting wet in a sprinkler, pool, or even mud puddle, but take a very strong stance against the tortuous act that is taking a shower.
14. They have an uncanny ability to beg to go outdoors when it’s raining shards of ice, but cry for the injustice of me forcing them outside on a lovely, sunny day.
15. They can think of the most thought-provoking questions. When I’m on the phone. Or in the bathroom. Or at bedtime. Otherwise, 2 + 2 = potato.
16. They have a knack for forgetting every single instruction I’ve given multiple times, but will immediately recall and repeat the four letter word I let slip when I stubbed my toe.
17. My children have mastered the art of altering their ability to hear! For example, they can miss me telling them in a loud voice, while in the same room, to shut the door, but will catch every word of the whispered conversation I have with their dad in another zip code.
18. My children are pretty good at ignoring me. Until their sibling is getting attention from me. Then errbody love Momma.
19. My children are great eaters! For example, they always want seconds when I sit down to eat.
20. They really know how to make a mom feel special. Like, when they come and ask me while I’m pooping to fix them a drink. Even though their dad was right there in the room with them, not doing anything.
Like I said, I’m not usually one to brag, but I simply had to share my children’s remarkable talents with you all.
What about you? Feel free to share something extraordinary your darlings can do!
Lisa Pierce says
This is great! Thanks for sharing! I needed a good laugh and I’m sure you cracked a smile or two through writing these talents!
brieann.rn@gmail.com says
Thank you!