Recently an older, male patient said something to me that made me pause.
“I want to thank you for serving me today, and doing it with a smile.”
Service with a smile. Sounded like some slogan for one of those restaurants that makes you wear lots of gaudy buttons and that hangs sports memorabilia all over the wall. I bet they sang some original yet ridiculous birthday song complete with clapping and out of tune voices.
“Thank you,” I replied. “Are you done with your tray?”
Then I hefted his heavy lunch tray into my arms, and it rested slightly on my shoulder as I exited his room.
“Please turn out the light,” he instructed. “And close the door.”
As I pulled the door to, making certain it didn’t slam loudly, a fellow nurse walked quickly through the hall.
She noted the tray on my shoulder, and she commented, “you look like a server in a restaurant.”
I always had drawn many connections between waiting tables and being a nurse, but as I carried his used tray down the hall I considered my role as a nurse and a servant. I supposed I was fine with it.
It’s a common complaint among the nursing community. Being a servant, that is. Being treated like a waitress, a maid, or I’ve even heard it described, “I’m not your momma!” Nursing is a profession, not simply a job anyone could do. You can’t, after all, walk in off the street and suddenly start titrating IV Levophed to maintain a blood pressure compatible with life. Nurses go through years of school, followed by years of on the job training to reach the level of knowledge and competence the job requires. They’re expected to monitor for minute changes in condition that could signal a life-threatening decline, they’re required to understand a myriad of medication doses and side effects, and the level of skillful performance of bedside procedures is of invaluable importance to the medical field. As such a well-trained, highly educated, and much needed provider in healthcare, nurses shouldn’t be expected to perform such menial tasks as fluffing a pillow or retrieving numerous popsicles and jello cups. How about a mint for your pillow?!
This idea we get in our heads, that being a servant is annoying or beneath us, I believe it only aids in breaking down the high respect for our profession. We feel sometimes as if we aren’t being highly regarded by the population for which we care, but I’ve discovered it’s the little tokens of servanthood that help close the circle of healing and wellness for patients.
I’ve been there myself. Run ragged, understaffed, and pulled in multiple directions. When you are literally fighting tooth and nail to keep one patient from dying, and then another asks for a box of Kleenex, it’s a flustering moment. To try and be everything everyone needs is impossible. In such a high-stress and extremely demanding (both physically and emotionally) environment it’s difficult to keep a calm head, much less be Betty Crocker or Mary Poppins. And certainly not Florence Nightingale. We’re too busy double charting patient care for reimbursement purposes! And no food at the nurse’s station! But I digress.
The point I’m trying to make is that while, yes, it’s difficult to be a servant, that doesn’t mean it’s a bad thing. It’s actually ok to be a servant to mankind. It’s actually our calling. If you hate people then serving them through the field of nursing might not be something you need to do. After all, people come to us typically in their most desperate and vulnerable state, and service with a smile might be that one simple thing that makes being sick a little bit easier.
I can remember once taking care of a patient when it really hit me how my attitude affects those around me. This particular lady was a walkie-talkie. She didn’t need to be in the ICU. I had a patient in the next room on a billion drips, tubes everywhere, knocking on Heaven’s door, and here was this lady asking to get up to pee. Again. I sighed and said something or other, to her request. My words didn’t matter as much as my face. Because while my words said “yes, I’ll help you,” my attitude said, “I don’t have time for this.” And perhaps I truly didn’t. There never is enough time in the field of nursing. But what struck me at that moment was how I must have made her feel. As a women myself who uses the bathroom frequently, I wondered how I would feel in her shoes. I would likely feel like I was a nuisance, like I was bugging the staff, like my needs weren’t important. No one should ever feel that way. We have to remember that.
I’ve discovered that patients won’t remember when I did chest compressions and helped bring them back to life. They won’t notice the dangerous med error I caught. They probably will never realize how I advocated for them on the phone with their difficult to deal with physician. They won’t even know if my patient in the other room is far sicker than they may be. What they will remember is how I treat them. And contrary to popular belief, we don’t treat people well for better patient satisfaction scores. We treat them well because it’s the decent thing to do. We treat them well because being sick sucks. We treat them well because that’s what we’d want if it was us or our family in that bed. We treat them well because that’s our job. And treating someone well means having a servant heart, a heart that gives of itself for the betterment of someone else.
It’s easy to forget that.
Nursing is a difficult, frustrating, and often times an overwhelming vocation. Yet it is also a privilege. People come to us at their worst and they say, “help me. Will you please help me?!” They place their life and future health in our hands. Sometimes they place their garbage or their bedpan in our hands, but that’s just a small part of the whole picture of making people better.
So sometimes I’ll carry trays, and other times I’ll start an IV to give much needed hydration and pain meds. Sometimes I’ll spoon feed someone who can’t use their hands anymore, and then I’ll also assist the physician in inserting a tube in their side to drain fluid so they can breathe. Sometimes I’ll give a bath to someone, because being clean just makes you feel good. I’ll hold the hand of a patient who is scared of dying, or I’ll educate family on how to use a feeding tube. Regardless of what I do, it will be a service, and it will be one I provide with a smile. Somedays it’s hard to smile. It’s hard for nurses, and it’s hard for the patient who doesn’t feel well. Maybe it’s even hard for that surgeon who’s always grumpy. Yet I’ll still serve with a giving and forgiving heart, a heart that steps into the shoes of someone else, and a heart that remembers an integral part of my job is serving others, in all capacities. That is why I’m here.
Sue Murphy says
Recently, my elderly father spent three days in the hospital having stents placed in blocked bypass grafts. He had incredible nurses…..who were overworked. I saw on aide/tech who took Dad’s temp once. No one offered a shower, a warm washcloth, etc.. I did that myself as well as taking him to the bathroom multiple times which involved unhooking/hooking up monster cables and pulling the IV pole along. He was in an acute care unit. The first night, the nurse was by herself and admitted four patients in two hours. She apologized for being late with a med. Her supervisor told her it should take five minutes to admit each patient. Really?!?!?! Even i know it takes longer than that and I have no medical background. I appreciate nurses more than I can say. I have met some I didn’t like much….but they were the lifeline for my loved one. They do an incredibly hard, strenuous, under appreciated job with a smile and a lot of caring regardless of what is happening to them on a personal level. Thank you.
brieann.rn@gmail.com says
Thank you so much!
Sadly, a trend in seeing is changes in staffing grids, geared to save money. These cut staff and make it very difficult to provide high quality care. It makes me so upset.
Dave says
I’m responding more to your reply to Sue Murphy more than to your post Brie although I truly thank you and others for being there for all who are trying to recover or living out the last moments of their lives! A pleasant face, touch and voice mean so much! I can truly sympathize with what your are experiencing with staff cuts! Through my years at Disney I saw the job we did go from providing the finest materials, talent and labor to achieve unbelievable results to “Do more with less” coaching which simply meant, you are going to be doing more with less time and cheaper materials! I retired sooner than I should as it got so discouraging spending so much time and effort to please those above me! I was at a time where I could retire so I did! Not sure where you are in your work life but I hope and pray those making the decisions you speak of realize how valuable the presence of medical professionals like your are! Press on and keep up the good work! Thank you!
brieann.rn@gmail.com says
Thank you!
Marsha Vick says
Brie, I remember from MRHC. It was awesome watching you work. I have the same mindset as you when it comes to caring for our patients. Some new nurses think it is “beneath them” to carry a tray out of a room, feed someone, or help them to the bathroom. They will say it is the aides job. But weren’t we trained to do those very things in the first semester of nursing school? I was taught that and I will still gladly do it and do it with a smile because that is how I want my family and myself to be treated. I tell my patients up front that I will treat like I want my family treated and ml osteoporosis of them appreciate that sentiment. Some tell me they won’t bother me if they don’t have to. I tell them that is what I’m here for, to help them. I love your posts and usually don’t reply but this one spoke to me today in a special way. Thank you for all you do every day.
brieann.rn@gmail.com says
Thank you so much for the comment and kind remarks. I appreciate you.
Lisa Pierce says
I love this post. If only more nurses realized that being a nurse includes total patient care. Hearing a nurse tell a patient ” that’s not my job” just makes me want to smack her/him. You’re not only a servant to your patient, but you’re also being a servant of the Lord!
brieann.rn@gmail.com says
Agreed. Thank you!