I was recently helping another nurse clean up an incontinent, elderly patient. She was so weak and deconditioned that she couldn’t help us turn herself even a little bit, and she wasn’t a small lady either. I stood straight and tall as I held her weight, trying to save my back, and my coworker grabbed washcloth after washcloth to mop up the liquid stool that had pooled underneath the woman. The aroma of diarrhea that can only be associated with a gastrointestinal bleed permeated the air, and we worked quickly since the patient’s lungs wouldn’t allow her to remain flat for long.
The patient’s daughter stood against the far wall. She exclaimed, “Gosh, Momma, that stinks!”
But to us she commented, “I don’t know how y’all do it, day in and day out. Y’all are better people than me!”
Nurses, she meant. And it was true; we did deal with poop on a daily basis. As an ICU nurse, and not having the assistance of auxiliary staff, I personally changed and cleaned all my incontinent patients. Then I helped my coworkers clean theirs too. Antibiotics made people sick to their stomachs, and yep, bleeding was common also. Then of course the Gastroenterologist would have us give them medicine to make them totally evacuate their bloody bowels! It could get pretty crazy. But that wasn’t the hard part of my job. Not even close.
So many times my patients would ask me how long I was there until, and when I responded, “oh, about 7:30,” they’d get wide-eyed.
“That’s a long day! 12 hour shifts, huh?!” They’d ask incredulously.
If you’ve followed me for any length of time then you’ve heard me talk about The Nurse Hangover. It’s that fog you find yourself in after a string of consecutive 12 hour shifts. It’s crazy. And yes, it’s hard. But it’s not the hardest thing I do. Not even close.
My poor husband gets to hear me vent about things like increased charting requirements, billing reimbursement and how that affects my job, or the dreaded white board. I’m still amazed people get paid just to check and make sure I keep that information board updated in the room of my sedated, ventilated patient who never has visitors. But I digress. The administrative duties of my job that prevent me from spending quality time at the bedside are aggravating, but they’re not the hardest part of my job. Close. But not really.
I can still recall what I consider one of my worst days. I have never been so emotionally and mentally exhausted than I was after watching my postpartum patient at risk for DIC hold her dead baby and cry. She dressed his 36 week old body in the blue, striped sleeper she was supposed to have him wear home, and she sang to him while she stroked his small, cold head. There was nothing I could do.
I still remember holding a homeless, nineteen year old daughter as she broke down against me. Her devastated tears soaked my hair, her flakes of skin from out of control psoriasis covered my dark scrubs, but I didn’t care. All I could do was hold her as she looked over my shoulder at her dead mother on the bed. The mother she didn’t even know was sick. She had no family or friends nearby, no home, no money, no food, and now no mother.
I still remember the day I coded a new admission 30 minutes after her arrival. It happened so quickly. As I began cleaning her up after the code was called and she was pronounced dead, all I could see was her grown son, scared, and kissing her on the cheek just a little while ago. “I love you, Mom,” he had said. He didn’t even know yet she was dead. I broke down crying. I had seen so many people die, had done so many codes, but that day I broke when I pictured a loving son’s last moments with his mom. Maybe I was thinking of my own mom who I never got to tell goodbye.
I can still remember standing with the doctor in the hall as he explained to a mother that her 25 year old son was brain dead, that there was no hope for recovery. She collapsed on the floor in hysterical tears. She just kept wailing, “no, no, not my baby!”
So many days I have stood at the bedside for hours, never leaving, changing the numbers up and down on multiple IV medications to make the numbers on the monitor stay in the realm of something compatible with life. I’ve walked in to assume care of a patient who was breathing like a fish out of water far too long, and then looked at his face and realized we graduated high school together. I’ve held a lot of hands after deciding to remove life support, and I’ve prayed with patients more times than I could possibly count. There’s a lot of things about Nursing that are difficult, perhaps even disgusting to some. Many days I get highly aggravated at documentation requirements or problems with supplies and the pharmacy. The days are long, and after a shift where I’ve fought tooth and nail to keep another human being on this side of heaven, haven’t eaten lunch, or barely had time to pee, I will think I need a huge pay raise! When we’re short-staffed, dealing with that family member you just cannot please, or getting swung at by an agitated patient, it’s tough work! But I tell you this… those things don’t even touch the surface of the hard parts about this job. You can think you know why it’s hard, but unless you’ve stood at the bedside and comforted a gentleman as he weeps for his wife of 56 years taking her last breath, you really have no idea. That’s the hard stuff. That’s the stuff we don’t talk about. That’s the stuff we try to leave at work, but when we pull into our driveway after a particularly trying day, where we faced the things we could not change, and we finally let the weight of it hit us, that’s what’s hard about Nursing.
Our lives-His Purposes, Ruthie's impressions says
Yes. Yes it is.
brieann.rn@gmail.com says
Thank you.
Michelle Anglin says
This sounds just like my career in nursing. Thank you for writing it so poetically.
brieann.rn@gmail.com says
Thank you.
Terri Cooper says
Loved the article it certainly hit home. I have been a nurse 30+ years. I have learned so much about living through my patients. Nursing is not a job it is a passion. I cannot see myself in any other career.
virginia gill says
I have been on Disability since 2012 for back and health issues caused by 30 years of that kind of hard work. However with that being said ,I would not change my career that I chose at 19 years old. Started as a LPN and got my RN at 34 after part time school for 6 yrs. Because I had to work full time and support 3 kids. I am a RN and glad to be one! I miss working.
Cindy Shaw says
I loved reading your post! It was sad, but brutally honest and on que. I empathize completely with you for I’ve had similar nursing experiences. Nursing is tough stuff that no one has a clue of except another nurse. Thank you so much for sharing.
brieann.rn@gmail.com says
Thank you.
Beth Walker says
Nurses are our Angels on Earth….thank you for all you do ?
brieann.rn@gmail.com says
Thank you!
Leila Steiner says
No one understands what a nurse goes through except another nurse.Still would not want to do anything else.
Dave says
Our oldest daughter is a hospice nurse there in Florida near the Villages & I don’t know how ya’ll do your jobs day in and day out! But knowing you have the Lord in the darkest hours of so many helps me understand how you pull it off day in and day out! Thank you and countless others for your dedication to making it as pleasant as possible in times of desperation many have or perhaps will face!
brieann.rn@gmail.com says
Thank you so much.
Kristina says
This made me cry I’ve worked in medical field almost 20 yrs. It was always just another day of work, helping others and their families yes sad but the job. Then I had to kiss my only child goodbye. He was only 18. My entire life has changed. And I am so grateful for those who were there for me answering the questions I knew the answers too but couldn’t answer for myself. So thank you and others for all you do for everyone, even people like me who know the answers but need support. I have no realized how very important our jobs are
brieann.rn@gmail.com says
Thank you. Bless you!
DeeRN says
So very sorry for your loss…
Mary Ann says
Thank you for writing so beautifully about the most difficult part of nursing. All nurses truly do perform our Heavenly Father’s comforting and caring work, whether they know it or not. Bless you and all nurses for everything that you do and give from the depths of your heart. (From a retired nurse and nursing instructor.)
brieann.rn@gmail.com says
Thank you so much!
Elisabeth Brillant says
Yes thank you for being so on point!…this is exactly what broke me on June 14th of this year..but in a good way as I am now being supported towards retirement after a 42 year career….your words could be my retirement speech…blessings
Cheryl says
This is why I love being a nurse. Yes, its hard. Yes, the hours are long. Yes, some of the things we do are gross and/or disgusting. But it is so worth it! It helps me keep my own life in perspective, it helps me take better care of myself, it helps me remember what’s really important in this life and what’s not, and at the end of my shifts I feel good about what I do and who I am. I feel blessed to be a nurse. ❤
Armando says
I feel the same way^ as an ER tech of 3 years (EMT) currently pursuing a second bachelor’s this time as nursing when I figured the security /criminal justice realm wasnt right for me after my first undergraduate degree. I just knew I wanted to help people and I didnt care about their socioeconomic status, their race, their sexual preference or to a point even their potential Criminal history. I just wanted to help and be the hands and feet. I say this to anyone who will listen my worse night in the ER beats my best day as a Security officer. I eagerly and anxiously look forward to my toughest challenge yet being my accelerated BSN program but the memories I’ve made, things I’ve seen, and the life and death I’ve experienced at bedside these last 3 years, I’ve never been so sure I’m on the right path. Thank you for the original post Brieann as well as your comment Cheryl. God bless to you all. We too keep each other coming back. Brothers and Sisters in arms. In Christ’s love, AXO
Mary Squires says
I’ve been an RN for 30 years now. Nursing is hard. What we don’t speak of, what makes us cry… that’s what’s hard. Not the poop. The blood. None of that. You have written a piece of my heart. Thank you.
brieann.rn@gmail.com says
Thank you.
Alicia De Pazos says
I also have been a nurse for 30+ years and you hit the nail on the head with this article! I have worked my entire career in Pediatric Oncology and still shed tears with my patients and families and I would not trade that for the world. My only frustration is all the administrative stuff and additional charting, that as you say takes away from actually time with patients, that is most frustrating! Great job with the article and with being a nurse, thank you for all you do!
Alicia De Pazos
Peggy King says
Thank you Brie..Hit Home
brieann.rn@gmail.com says
Thank you.
Francine says
Brie, you have captured it all. So many cases are forever burned into my brain. When people talk about leaving your job at work, they just have no idea.
brieann.rn@gmail.com says
Indeed. Thank you.
Jean says
I am retired, but I have not forgotten the most difficult and most beautiful part of working 39 years in ICU.
Pat Co says
A lot of people, my husband included, don’t understand why we nurses only work 3 days a week at the hospital. I didn’t understand it either before I became a nurse. But life events have led me to become an RN. I love it even though it’s a tough job emotionally, mentally, and physically. Your piece beautifully articulated how a nurse feels. Thank you.
brieann.rn@gmail.com says
Thank you!
Donna Smith says
Brie, you speak of the toughest moments you face as a nurse, but these times are also the most precious. Being there, helping to ease suffering, and touching the lives of people in their most difficult moments are the memories we never forget. As nurses we see human beings at their worst and their best. Truthfully, my worst moments are when I have to question whether we are, at times perhaps, prolonging suffering while we should be easing it. The patients that haunt my mind are the ones who are not able to speak for themselves and are put through endless tests and treatments that have questionable benefit. It is not mine to make those decisions, but I am left with many ethical struggles of mind.
brieann.rn@gmail.com says
I completely agree!
Tammy Pierce says
So true. I work in LTC where we become the family they have but never visit until they get the call they will soon pass. I hear appreciative thank you from families who tried to keep them home but couldn’t at times it’s a thankless job but I love my work. I love my job.
Jodie says
I agree. LTC residents become family. It is different than a acute care in that we know them and the families so well, the multiple losses can be overwhelming.
Gretchen Williams says
As you say, the benefits far outweigh the “hard stuff”! I couldn’t do it without the Lord. He is my strength and shield! Thanks for showing our hearts to those who aren’t aware!
brieann.rn@gmail.com says
Thank you.
Melody Brown says
You described to perfection what I faced each night in ICU/Telemetry from July 1978-March 2016 when I was forced to retire due to constant breakdown of my body. I have all the world’s respect for any nurse in any clinical chosing????????
Jocelyne says
Yes?
Cindy Warren MSN, RN says
I think the very hardest part of nursing is the chronic short staffing that prevents a nurse who really cares about all that suffering talked about in this writing and comments, from being able to take the time to listen and to give much needed hugs. Yet the CEO”s of those facilities sit in meetings and get paid bonuses, while getting paid millions of dollars. Yet the short staffing is by design of the administration, to cut costs. Grrrr.
Nan says
That is true in every hospital. Let’s flex down my manager says ! Then 20 mins after your tech and nurse leave> oh theres 4 admits coming! Really!
virginiallorca says
Talk about God helping? This is where he should step in. Soften the hearts of Admin.
Fran says
Amen!!!!
Jeanette says
Yes nursing is hard on all of us who have worked the floor whether we are new or been at it for decades. What amazes me is that nurse complain about 12 hour shifts yet insist they would rather work three 12’s than 10’s or 8’s. We have created this problem and only we can fix it.
Brittany says
Some companies only hire into 3 12’s to eliminate the staffing shortage from 3p-7p…
Gail says
I have a long commute and would rather work 12 hour shifts than have to go in for a shorter shift more often. It benefits me to have 5 days off together – we do a 2 days/2 nights/5 off pattern. The 5 days off give me time to do the things I enjoy and to feel more relaxed than I would if I only had a couple of days off. Also the traffic would be a nightmare if I was to finish earlier.
Jen says
It’s true, you can’t know until you’ve been there. Even those of us who have been there as well, when we share the stories with others who know, there is still so much that there is just not words for…
Clair says
Thank you! You have captured it all. Today in my ICU, it was fire after fire, no pee, no lunch, day and I came home and read this! So nice to have some one that just “Gets it”
Jessyca Yucas says
Thank you, Precious Angel!
brieann.rn@gmail.com says
Thank you.
Nicole says
Beautiful words and oh so true!
Kathy,RN says
You and I feel like kindred spirits!! I can relate to everything you said. It’s the hardest and best job there is..I am retired now but would do it all over again..I loved what I did and gave the best I could. I loved mentoring the newbies and was always there for them.. The emotions you feel in each twelve hour shift can not be understood by anyone but your work family..I thank the good Lord for giving me the strength,knowledge and ability to choose nursing as my career.
brieann.rn@gmail.com says
Thank you. 🙂
Barbara J McSpadden says
Since 1978 that was me… and then 18 months ago, i just couldn’t do it anymore. ICU, transporting, orthopedic surgery- I was just done. After a long time of being nursed by my husband, I can look back and wish I could do it again- but the nursing I did of touching skin, holding hands, rubbing backs, teaching patients and families has been taken over by computers, computers computers…. and the dreaded white board. May you be blessed with strentgh and wisdom for your next shift, and the one after that-
brieann.rn@gmail.com says
Thank you.
virginiallorca says
My daughter is an ICU nurse so I hear lots of these stories. One of her biggest honors, to her, was having a crabby doctor, that only she got along with, ask for her to be his nurse when he was terminal. She will tell stories of an incident that made her cry and start crying in the retelling. Her hospital is in a rough area and she has had to call police when 20 rowdy people are surrounding her in a room with a dying patient. She has almost finished her clinicals to be a nurse practitioner. No other job takes such a constantly crushing physical and emotional toll. I have to remember she is so much more than just my daughter. Plus single mom with two wonderful kids.
Rebecca Craft says
Thank you. This made me cry too. I’ve been an RN for over 40 yrs. It’s been a long time since I’ve worked in critical care, but the memories of what you described came flooding back to me…things no one else can understand except other nurses. Even outside the unit, in multiple therapeutic areas, we have experiences no one else really ‘gets’… and most don’t want to hear about. Thanks for articulating so beautifully… I now work in research and don’t touch people anymore (physically), and while it’s easier, I miss patients. I’ve always said – nursing is not something I DO. It’s who I AM. Please know that some of us ‘old girls’ watch you guys in amazement. You are my heroes now. And I am committed to pray for you for strength, stamina, peace, wisdom, and the hands of angels as you care for your patients and families on the worst days of their lives.
brieann.rn@gmail.com says
Thank you!
Sue Linse says
My husband was in the ICUfir three weeks this past February with flu, pneumonia and sepsis. Before this I had a very naive knowledge of what nurses do. After this experience…nurses are rockstars! They had to know so much about the many machines and medicines that kept my husband alive. He came out alive but with a serious bedsore. People would comment that that “should’ve never happened!” “Didn’t they turn him?” They did but I always say “those nurses saved his life. The sore will heal”. Thank you for all you do.
brieann.rn@gmail.com says
Thank you so much. Blessings to you and your husband.
Debra Shaw says
I have never in my career as a Nurse worked much on the floor or in ICU> I have always worked in the OR and I so admire the nurses that are at the bedside. I take care of 1 pt at a time and have many of the same emotions as I worked at a Level 1 trauma center…You feel all those same feelings whether it be a car accident or a pt with a cancer diagnosis and if you do not…. you do not need to be in Nursing. I am very proud of being a Nurse and proud of most all the nurses and Techs I have worked with in the last 335yrs!
Linda Charlton says
I was a CC RN for 30 years. I am retired now after a 13 year stint as a supervisor. Your observations are spot on. I remember driving to the hospital to say good bye to a patient I cared for for over a month. I was sobbing and pounding the steering wheel to the dismay of my pre-teen daughters. I remember refusing to stop compressions on a patient because I wanted him to live so much, again sobbing. Another man, age 44, gone; me crying so hard the MD I had called didn’t recognize my voice. On and on… they are still all swirling around in my head as if in a hamster wheel. Most of my managers thought I was a bitch. In reality I was trying to protect myself from the pain of knowing there were things I could never control. If people only knew us as we really are.
Mary says
Thank you for giving words to those who can’t find them. You absolutely nailed it.
Deborah Gaynair says
Well said. Thank u.
brieann.rn@gmail.com says
Thank you.
innerscribbles says
Yes. I have been a nurse for 40 years. Yes. I have considered it an honor that folks chose me .. on some level.. in some way.. to be the one there when they come to the planet.. or when they leave. I am tired. I am retiring.. again… i think..
Gina shelton old fashioned diploma rn who actually wore a cap..
Janey Boyd says
This is so very true. A tribute really to all of us who strive daily to make a difference in the life of a patient or their family. We will smile through tears, laugh with them through tears. shed tears for the patient we can’t “fix”, the mom or dad whose child we must help maintain while the parents are Giving the most treasurd gift of all to a stranger. We will hold our emotions in check while we are blamed for the failure of their loved one to thrive. We will hold the steering wheel of our car as we sit and ponder the sadness of the day and feel tears burn our cheeks. Must try to get it out before we head home and walk through th door and embrace those who give us reason to survive. Then we will walk into the hospital the next day with the resolve and anticipation that this will be an awesome day and smile as those ICU doors swing open. Who knows , this really may be the day of miracles-they are many!!
Karen C. says
Today I took an admission on ICU. I only care for her (& her family) for 3 hours. When preparing to transition to next shift, my patient looked me in the eye and told me “You made today a lot easier. Thank you.” That’s all I ever want in return for what I do for others; to make a difference. What a great end of a shift!
Mary Frances B Smith says
I am a Pharmacist…and despite what you may think…I know how hard nurses work and what they go through. I worked in as a Critical Care Pharmacist in the Unit for 12 years. I watched and at times when there was nobody else actually helped “my nurses” move patients, hold them or roll them while they changed dressings or cleaned their poop. I helped them during codes and ran for blood and meds when they had a patient crashing. I watched them try to help families understand all that was going on. I cried with them when we lost a patient. So I do understand how hard your jobs are and how much you carry with you. I just wanted you to understand that Pharmacists are not all like what you experience. Many of us (not all mind you) understand your side of the story and try to make your lives a little less stressful. Thank you for all you do.
brieann.rn@gmail.com says
Thank you. I know my pharmacy staff is there to help me. I think it’s more a staffing issue that causes any nuisances Nursing deals with.
Mary Frances B Smith says
True. We struggle everyday to get what everyone needs quickly. Some days we succeed..others..not so much.
Kristin M Wiederhold says
Thank you. You said it all. As nurses we are especially privileged to work in this incredibly intense environment, As I face a new diagnosis of aggressive Stage III breast cancer and look at starting out on a new long road as a patient I know all my days at the bedside as a critical care nurse have made me uniquely prepared to travel this journey. I have never been able to forget we are all at all times mortal and just one step away from being the person in that bed we are caring for. That fact informed my practice every day and now all the years of living surrounded by the critically ill and dying will help me face my own journey through the valley of death.
brieann.rn@gmail.com says
Thank you. Your comment is a wonderful reminder to us all to place ourselves in the shoes of those we care for.
I pray right now for special healing for your body. You don’t walk through the valley alone.
Kristin M Wiederhold says
Thank you Brie.
Shauna Ensrud says
Eloquently written! I’ve been an RN for over 33 years and could relate to every feeling. Thanks for sharing!!!
brieann.rn@gmail.com says
Thank you!
Valerie Collins says
Yes. And although it is hard and I’ve seen and did it all, I miss every minute of it!!
Karen Rossi says
Thanks for your well spoken words! Many memories came flooding back. I am a newly retired RN after 33 years at the bedside and additional 5 years as a hospice nurse. I salute all my nurse colleagues both new and old. May you continue to give your very best and always remember that underneath all those lines and tubes, there lies a human being who is scared and in pain, who needs YOU desperately! You are the best medicine they can ever hope to have! God bless!
Karen R. , RN
Marti says
I was an aide, nurse, nurse educator for about 25 years. Would have continued but MS made me an insurance risk. My favorite job was a Clinical Nurse Specialist in Death and Dying. I worked with the non Hospice deaths. The sudden unexpected events where patients, families, and staff find death become a reality. My job was to help everyone involved navigate an emotional and sometimes terrifying situation. Ironically I had family members ask how I could do such an upsetting job. I would tell them I was honored to be allowed to try to help everyone. I saw miraculous things, touching moments, bravery, and random acts of kindness. Yes I saw the ugly in my career. Code blues, pulmonary hemorrhage, GI bleeds, etc. But I loved nursing and that I could try to help people physically, emotionally, and spiritually during a pivotal moment in their lives.
Shelly says
Brie…..Your last entry….5:26am. Either you’re working nights, up early, or you can’t sleep. Something we nurses do all 3 of. You wrote straight out of my heart and onto the screen. My memories reflect yours. The places we work are different, the things we say, do, and feel are all the same. We are all a comradary of people who can feel each other’s pain, and understand the heartaches and hurts we have lived through. Each person we care for teaches us, helps us to become better people both in mind and heart as we go on to care for the next, and the next. We are truly the hands, the feet, the face of God to many whose lives we care for, whose hearts we touch as they touch ours. We are blessed to serve in one of the most difficult and enriching professions humankind can offer. We need to stand by each other to help listen, laugh, mourn and fight every day for the strength we need to keep a “straight back” for whatever we must face. I know so many of the best human beings in life because I worked with them in my career…….and now I know one more……God bless you sweet nurse……☺❤☤
brieann.rn@gmail.com says
Thank you so much for your kind words. God bless you!
Susan says
That to me was the most rewarding part of working in an ICU that had 40% of the hospital deaths, helping patients and families through those times. My most proud moments as a nurse.
Bonnie says
Many in our family are RN’s and one granddaughter is an LPN. Another granddaughter is studying to become an RN. Couldn’t be prouder of any of them! You are all truly God’s Angels on earth.
God bless and keep you in His loving care always. ??
Sue says
Thank you for this- I am a radiographer- who fully sees and understands what healthcare workers bring home- the difficult part of the job and yes, until you have held someone who is dying or comforted those who lost a loved one or see staff tirelessly try to save a life, people don’t get it, the hard part or why we do what we do day in and day out. I teach now, but it is the patient care I miss the most
Jeannette Smith says
Your post is so beautifully, brutally accurate. I find the hardest parts of nursing are the things we can’t change. The alcoholic who is detoxing for the 10 time this year, who is not going to stop drinking, whose family wants nothing to do with; the 24 year old heroin addict with endocarditis who wants to leave AMA because she needs a fix; the suicide ideation patients who are IEA’d and sit on the unit for 3 weeks waiting for a place at the mental hospital; the non-compliant diabetic who is in for a foot amputation and doesn’t understand why we are limiting his diet. The man, whose wife has had cancer for years and suddenly takes a turn for the worse, who doesn’t make it to the hospital while she is still coherent, to say goodbye. All of these patients and their many issues and their broken lives and families are the parts of nursing I find the hardest. This was my assignment on my worst day of nursing. The day I felt the most helpless.
brieann.rn@gmail.com says
Thank you for sharing. Absolutely.
Rhonda says
So so true
Lynda says
Nursing is a calling and the personal grow and mentoring is our reward. Yes, the ever changing documentation is a challenge. I’d like managements to know TIME needs to be factored in so nursing can actually be the art and science it is ment to be.
Norman Swope says
I have spent my years between Oncology(Stem Cell Transplant) and Emergency. I have been to so many talks where someone is acknowledging two of the three hardest nursing jobs, I am ICU qualified, but would not prefer it. I appreciate the way you are able to articulate what I am sure we all feel. As a man, we are looked at different when we have the hard days, but landing in the driveway and feeling the weight of the world fall over you, it fits. Thank you..
brieann.rn@gmail.com says
Thank you.
Rosalinda Ramirez says
Thank you all Nurses, may God bless you all for the hard work, physical and emotional, there are no words enough to thank you all ❤
brieann.rn@gmail.com says
Thank you!
PATRICIA KUZNIAK says
“Allow the Lord to lighten the weight” God bless you for all you do and for sharing <3
http://www1.cbn.com/devotions/jesus-our-weight-lifter
brieann.rn@gmail.com says
Thank you.
Milissa Buckles says
Thanks for telling it like it is. Good Job and see you at the special gate in Heaven with the entrance for caregivers only!
Jill Tatman ,MSN,RN,CCRN says
I have been a nurse for 38 years , a Critical Care nurse 36 of those years. I would not change one thing about my career. I have cried with patients and their families. I have sang word of praise and offered prayer. I have read scripture to patients. I have held patients hands and told them it was ok to go. Those are some of the best moments when you know the out come is not what you wanted but you have been there to comfort them in their last moments or console the families as they loose their family member. Nursing is not for the weak ,you must have the passion and the inter strength.
Vicki A. says
As a RN of 31 years, what you wrote is so true. Even yesterday I help a patient that had been on the vent for over 2 months with no hope of ever coming off, (FiO2 70%,PEPP 10) express that she didn’t want to live like that anymore. She had to repeat this to the ICU Dr, the Chaplian and the Chief of Staff all at three different times. This or has no family and lived in a nursing home for a long time. It was one of the hardest things I have had to do. I was so thankful that someone from the nursing home wanted to come with her so she won’tt die alone. Helping family make the decision to remove life support or make a loved one a DNR (Do Not Resuscitate). You aren’t taught this in nursing school. This is one of many things that nurses do which is not what people think of as a nurse’s job or responsibility.
Thank all of you for what you do.
Heather says
You took the words right out of my mouth. I literally cried while reading this because I know what it feels like to beg a patient to hang on just a little longer for her daughter who’s 2 hours away to get there to say goodbye and the patient nodded and died 20 minutes after her daughter got there. Or to hold the hand of mother and pray for husband who you know won’t make it through the night but she has so much hope you just give her what she needs. Or to protect the 9 year old boy whose step father beats him and to watch him obediantly go right back to the loser stepdad. So many more stories we nursed could tell but you said it so well. Thank you so much for the validation you portrayed in this:)
brieann.rn@gmail.com says
Thank you, and thank you for sharing.
Lyn Behnke says
Brilliant. A Brilliant piece of work. I remember having to defibrillate a patient until his attorney came to get his will signed. They wanted us to assure that he was of sound mind and body. Not after 150 shocks of 360 joules over 6 hours. i wasn’t even of sound mind or body. Your piece helps define those things that we carry in our hearts and makes us Sisters and Brothers in Nursing.
brieann.rn@gmail.com says
Thank you.
Kristin M Wiederhold says
I have been in a similar situation where a daughter who couldn’t face her mother’s passing told us to “keep her alive at all costs”, left the hospital “to think things over”, only to not be able to be return for hours and not to be able to be reached by phone. The patient was an 88 year old woman in a coma, on a vent, whose kidneys had shut down, and who had an EF in the 20’s. My comment that day to my daughter on returning home from work was “You know I didn’t know what I was going to do for a living when the Nazis went out of business, but then I chanced on this nursing thing..” It is truly terrible to feel like you are the one put in a situation of absolute futility where all you are doing is participating in the torture of another human beings body.
barb bretzman says
Well put my dear, I believe you have brought a lot of us to realize that we are not alone. Thank you!
brieann.rn@gmail.com says
Thank you!
Jenny says
This. Exactly this. I couldn’t do it anymore, emotionally. I decided to go back to CRNA school because I wanted to keep people “on this side of heaven” (love that)! Thank you for continuing to do what emotionally, I could no longer do. Your patients are so lucky to have you.
brieann.rn@gmail.com says
Thank you.
Cola says
Although im I am not a nurse because of my reason of not believing in medicine I am a tech and most of the times our jobs are dirty but there have been times when after a code and that person doesnt make it i go in the bathroom to cry i have yet to become desensitized. Nursing is job that can make you feel like you carry the weight of the world in your scrub pockets.
C Bruce says
Cola, if you ever do become desensitized to it, it is time for you to quit.
Jim Millson Sr. says
brieann. I am a retired RN and cried as you brought back so so many memories. still there is such a rewarding feeling providing care
Stéphanie says
Wow i have tears in my eyes this is all hitting home all too well! Thank you!
brieann.rn@gmail.com says
Thank you!
Joyce Parrone says
thank you for a well written description of what nursing really is and how nurses continue to do the difficult job. I am an RN of 40+ years, have worked at the bedside, oriiented new RNs to the hospital, worked as a hospice RN and an educator for 30 years teaching RN’s. I have been a patient and admire all the hard work RN’s do on a daily basis. Thank you all for your dedication to helping patients and families in their most trying time.
Joanne says
Beautifully said. I’ve been a nurse in the Medical Intensive Care Unit for 44 years now and have experience everything you said and more. No one outside of nursing has the slightest idea what we do day after day. Please continue with your great work. I only hope when it is me in the bed I have a wonderful nurse like you. Thank you for all you do.
Theresa says
thank you for putting into words what I couldn’t through out my 40+ year career as an RN.
Little lou lou says
Thank you- the nurse who KNEW ” I wouldn’t go home just yet sweatheart,she had a difficult night” without me knowing, and was able to stay with my Grand-ma at her bedside,
till her last breath. Thank you
Joy Kalt says
The hospital setting is a kind of hallowed ground in my experience. All of these challenges require almost divine intervention by angel nurses. Unfortunately the angels are spread way too thin. When will administrators get the picture? We need more angels! Some with unbroken wings and strength to hold their halos upright for 12 hrs! Please, bossy types, pay attention! You can make money AND take care of your front line people!
Dotty Ciano says
For my 46 years of nursing I have felt like this everyday. My biggest joy was making a patient smile letting he or she know their not alone. comforting them and their families till the end. No matter how bad or good my days and nights were as I worked .. when I went home I know I gave it my all and that’s the part of nursing no one knows …
Oksana Holly says
Thank you for services!
MOM says
There are days as her mommy, I just want to hold my daughter (CCU Nurse) in my arms and let her cry the tears she needs to after a rough shift. As her MOM I am so proud to have such a feisty, loving, gentle caring daughter that cares about her patients.!!!!
Lisa says
Thañk-you for sharing!❤✌?
Lori K says
Beautifully said- you’ve explained the feelings of the push and pull of the job fantastically- thank you! Sharing to have my non medical family read too <3
brieann.rn@gmail.com says
Thank you ?
Lindsay Dearduff says
This hit home for me. I was crying a few paragraphs in. I’m that daughter gagging in the corner. Questioning how you can handle the sight of what is coming up those suction hoses and then there are the horrible smells…as I was reading this I swear I smelled that exact smell it was describing. I’ve had more than my fair share of experience in hospitals between my Dad and kids over the years. What a world of difference a wonderful and caring nurse can make to a family especially to a family who recently discovers that their Husband/Dad/Grandpa has colon cancer and it’s spread to his liver and lungs. I thought I was going to need admitted in the coronary unit or picked up off the floor for that punch to the gut. Guess who was there to catch me while I falling. The nice ones got thanked and hugged for taking extra time and care to help us give our special guy everything he asked for. We knew it was little stuff but it was all he wanted and we knew it wouldn’t be long. We never made it to the hospice floor but waking up in the waiting room at 5am outside of the ICU and being told my Dad has decided to go with comfort care that morning is not a day I will ever forget. It takes a special calling to be a comforting and caring nurse to not only their patients but also a group of snot-sobbing strangers and to be able to wake up to do the things most people couldn’t even fathom doing. We always tried to make all of them feel appreciated as we know nurses are angels this side of Heaven. Thank you for doing what you do everyday for the ones who need it and for the ones who can’t do it.
Phyllis Collins says
Phyllis PBBH ’74. Yes, nursing was the same before penicillin, before automatic wall suction, when O2 came through large green tanks. We made the toast, served the meals and started the iv’s. but there will always be the praying and holding of dying hands.
Joanne Hodgson says
As an R.N. of 25 yes. I have experienced a lot of the same situations noted above, yet every shift I put on my freshly ironed uniform and head out for my 12hr. night shift. Father above, bless us all.
JACQUELINE GIRARRD says
Amongst the tubes, IV’s, forever beeping alarms, I will hold your hand, I will listen,, I will keep you clean and comfortable, I will turn your pillows to the cool side. I will bring you warm blankets, I will comfort your family. Yes, I do the medicine and watch the monitors, but there is more that you need while you are here with me. More is what I give. This is what I do. I am your nurse. I am here for you. While you are unable, I will be your champion.
Marie C Kelly-Tralies says
Thank you for this beautiful article.
Nursing- keeping compassion alive in medicine:) To all those that care, in good times and bad, God bless you!
Susan says
Bless you all for all you do each and every day!
brieann.rn@gmail.com says
Thank you.
Marlene Balik says
As an RN for 45 years, I was moved by your beautiful essay. It is that and so much more.
brieann.rn@gmail.com says
Thank you.
Elizabeth Schmeidler says
To Briann, I was touched by the truth and passion of your words and your vocation, which came across my FB page. In fact, I emphasized your very heart regarding these issues in my novel, Forever Love: Nurses are underpaid, overworked, and sometimes, more important and more knowledgeable and in-tune with the patient than the doctors. They can and do make the difference between life and death at times. Their cheerful demeanor or grouchy demeanor can either help cure or crush a patient. I hoped through speaking about this plight in the novel that it would encourage nurses everywhere, to help them know they are appreciated–if by no one else than God, and for others to realize how important they are and take even more pride in their profession. God bless each and every one of you. To show my gratitude, I would be happy to send you a free copy of my novel if you are interested. It’s suspenseful, filled with a hint of romance and great experiences of love and forgiveness. You can PM me on FB with your shipping address, or I can give you my email and you can send it via email if that makes you feel more secure. God bless. Elizabeth Schmeidler https://www.amazon.com/Forever-Love-Elizabeth-Schmeidler/dp/1515324192
C Bruce says
It is not only the nurses who feel this way. For the hospitals lucky enough to have ancillary, the CNA’s feel the same. I was an ICU for 12 years, and with the exception of the meds, I felt every part of your article. I watched our patients for signs to alert the nurses to so they could have a break from the room to update charts or check on their other patient or to take a few minutes to relax or take a break. We cleaned, stocked, monitored and sometimes acted as a go between for family and staff. I was in nursing school and could “speak medical” and speak layman. We comforted families both in the ICU and in the waiting room, and tried to comfort patients when turning, speaking to them as though they did not have that ET tube, watching facial expressions for signs of pain, confusion, fear.. we learned to use translation apps for the patients and family that didn’t speak English. As an “aide”, our jobs was to try to make nurses jobs easier, more efficient, and while I felt appreciated, I know many of my my counterparts did not. If you are a nurse, thank your aide/tech. If you are a nurse, Thank you for your humanity, it is the hardest thing to have to let a patient go, then explain to family why their child/parent/sibling could not be saved. Then to finish out your 12 and go home to a family that cannot understand why you aren’t ‘happy the day is over’…while you are done, a family is broken.. you shouldn’t be happy.. Thank you for your article, while I’m not a nurse, I felt it all, and reminded me what it was like to be “wonder woman” for a short while..
brieann.rn@gmail.com says
Thank you!
James Lindsay (@JamesLindsay_) says
My wife ended her 12 hour shift today, almost an hour ago, and I expect her to drag herself through the door any minute.
On her behalf, I just wanted to say, “Thank you”.
I don’t know if I’ll pass this link along to her or not, yet. That will depend on the kind of day she has had.
brieann.rn@gmail.com says
Thank you.
Louanne says
I am a care aide and this nailed it to a t. Such a good article. Love it.
Francesca Hirchak says
Well said
Barbara Moran?? says
Thank you for sharing. Wonderful way to express your feelings as a dedicated. Nurse. We are. All so proud of you????❤️Aunt Barbara
Pam King says
Thank you for sharing.
How could you do all of that and not be touched by compassion.
With resources being constantly diminished…
Thank YOU from the bottom of my heart.
❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
brieann.rn@gmail.com says
Thank you.
Lisa Pierce says
Wow Brie you knocked it out of the ballpark on this one! I cried as I read it and also some of the responses. I have never seen so many on your posts. I hope all the active duty nurses continue to read your posts. Your gift of writing what so many others feel helps many. God bless you beloved child of God!!
brieann.rn@gmail.com says
Thank you!
mickeywess says
Your story of the stillborn baby really hit home. I worked L&D for 38 yrs and those are the ones that really stick with you. I hope I was able to offer some small measure of kindness for those grieving families.