I heard the musical ting of my cell phone across the kitchen as I collected dishes from the counter and carried them to the sink. Even though the stainless steel basin was sizable in nature, it still had a hard time keeping up with my growing family. I quickly grabbed half a dozen dirty coffee mugs my husband had brought in from his car, and added them to the mound of items to wash.
He was always forgetting to bring in his used coffee cup until he completely ran out of them.
I knew the baby would only nap for so long, just as I knew the other children would only stay occupied and out of trouble for a bit longer, and in my haste I forgot about the pinging tone of my phone in favor of sweeping the floor. I had just done it the day before, but it begged for my attention nonetheless. I wondered briefly while I swept under the table what it would look like if I didn’t keep up with it.
Sometimes it seemed like I was the only one who knew how to clean the floors.
After depositing a fresh pile of crumbs into the trash I made my way into the living room, picking up discarded cups and wayward toys as I went. As I tidied I noticed my spouse’s discarded socks stuffed under the sofa, and I bent frustrated to scoop them up and take them to the laundry.
His socks never seemed to make it there on their own.
Just as I started a load of laundry, and right before I considered sitting down for a moment by myself to think, the baby woke from her nap. I hustled to the bedroom to retrieve my littlest lady, grabbing my cell phone as I went.
I never had a free moment. Sometimes I felt like my life was a race.
Minutes later I sat in the rocker feeding my daughter, and remembering the text from earlier I pulled out my phone. On the screen was a message from my husband, complete with emojis and such. I looked at his words and I realized something right away.
My husband was clueless.
He had no idea.
I looked at his sweet words sent to me, and I realized he could never know how much he meant to me. He could never fathom how much I appreciated his constant love during a chaotic time of our lives.
During a season where I felt as if I was continuously on the run, his words of affection and longing were a refuge in my day. He was clueless to how much thoughts of our relationship inspired me throughout the week.
During a time when we both worked so hard that coffee was the go-to beverage, and days ended where you were so tired that taking your socks and shoes off seemed like a chore in itself, we never neglected to remember what was really important.
And it wasn’t clean dishes. It wasn’t even a shiny, crumb-free floor. Although that was nice.
As I looked at my phone I knew my partner in life had his priorities straight. He knew what was key. But I was pretty certain he was clueless at just how much his involvement and presence meant to his wife.
When life gave us busyness, his presence offered me peace. When work and responsibilities piled up, his affections gave me respite. For in the sureness of our shared love none of it seemed to matter as much. All that mattered were the significant things; us, and the family we had built.
Though he knew every inch of my body, every crevice of my mind, and how to make me smile when I needed it the most, of one thing I knew he was completely clueless. And that was just how much he meant to me.