I can still remember when I decided I wanted to become a nurse. It came out of left field, really. Before I had always dreamed of being a veterinarian, from as far back in childhood as I could recall. I spent many Summer afternoons trying to mend broken frog legs, or the nights bottle feeding baby bunnies. So I guess my momma was pretty surprised when I came to her and said, “I want to change my major to Nursing.”
I had been going to school for two years in Pre-Vet Med, and somewhere along the way I realized I loved making things better, but I really wanted my patients to be able to tell me what was wrong. I had grown up watching my mom work as a Registered Nurse, and despite my young mind telling me to not be like my mother, I realized one day that maybe that wasn’t such a bad thing after all.
When I told her my plans I saw two expressions cross her face, which may sound kinda weird, but that’s how it was nonetheless. I saw pride, and then I saw fear.
The fear is what she led with that day. She asked me was I sure, and she made sure to tell me how difficult the field would be. She didn’t sugarcoat it one bit. She let me know that most days would be a struggle to achieve what I wanted for my patient, but also to feel completely satisfied in my career.
And she was right.
Fast forward sixteen years later and I still struggle in the nursing field. Time hasn’t made it any easier. I suppose it’s widened my knowledge base, and it’s strengthened my resolve to do the job well, but it hasn’t made my vocation suddenly similar to traipsing through a field of fragrant flowers while the Sound of Music plays softly in the background.
Twelve hour shifts are still long, difficult families make a long shift even longer, and despite many raises I still don’t think I make enough money for the wealth of responsibility I carry on my thin shoulders. Of course, everyone knows we don’t do it for the money anyway.
Condescending doctors still exist, demanding patients still hold unrealistic expectations, and I don’t think I’ll ever feel like I know as much about the field of nursing as I wish I did.
Patients still die despite my efforts to keep them alive, while other patients still partake in risky behaviors that will eventually kill them, despite my education for them to do otherwise.
But I knew it would be this way. My momma told me so.
Yesterday I was reading a book to my daughter about life in the Appalachian Mountains during the 1920’s. In the pages it began to tell of a woman named Mary Breckinridge, and she was a nurse. She would become a pioneer for the field, bringing medicine and access to healthcare to the mountain people.
A lump built in my throat, and tears welled up in my eyes. As I read her story I was overcome with emotion and pride. I was overwhelmed at not only the work this woman accomplished, but also the fact that I personally was a member of such a noble profession at this.
It was the same feeling of pride I had when the Ebola epidemic tried to breakout in the U.S., and I watched while brave nurses did their jobs without fear.
It was the same pride I experienced when nurses everywhere united after a certain talk show host tried to ridicule them.
It was the same pride I felt when a patient complimented my care of them, or when their family told me thank you with tears in their eyes.
It was the same pride I remember seeing on my mother’s face so many years ago when I told her I wanted to be a nurse too.
She had not told me that part. I guess she knew I would need to experience for myself. For the fact is, nursing is hard. And often times it seems completely thankless. But other times, it’s completely wonderful.
Despite any hardships the field may entail, when it comes right down to it there is no better feeling of accomplishment and joy than that of saving a life, or making the rest of someone’s life more enjoyable.
When it comes right down to it there is a calling, a light that shines in the heart of those who agree to carry the mantle. For those who accept that great responsibility, they are not only given the burden of healthcare to carry, but also the prize of pride for a noble profession unlike any other.
And that prize, that pride, that calling, it overrides all the rest of it. My momma didn’t tell me that. She knew that one day I would just have to see it for myself.
kala says
My name is Kala and my mom is an LPN and I am working towards becoming a RN I actually just applied to the program and will find out if I made it in April! I love the candidness of your post, I want to work in Peds Oncology and although I will never know how hard it is going to be until I am there, I feel strongly that it is my calling. I plan on eventually getting my BSN and APRN. Anyways, I just wanted to tell you that you are a role model to me and other future nurses. You don’t sugar coat it and like your mama you are damn good at your job.
brieann.rn@gmail.com says
Thank you!