I’ll tell y’all the truth. I love my kids. Like I really love them. I love them with this undying love, this unconditional commitment, this feeling inside that I never knew existed until I had children. I would kill somebody over my kids, but that doesn’t change the fact that some days I want to kill my kids too.
They take me to a place in my heart I never knew existed. And then they take me right over the edge. To the brink of insanity.
Here’s 15 things, off the top of my head, about little kids that drives me crazy. Pretty sure most of this happened today.
1. When they repeat things.
My toddler shrilly screeches the same phrase over and over until I acknowledge her. If it’s a question she wants a “yes” to, and I instead say “no,” she’ll keep repeating her request in hopes of a different answer.
2. When they want to go outside, so you get them dressed and shoes on. Then 5-10 minutes later they’re ready to come back inside. And they’ve managed to become completely filthy in that short period of time.
3. When they wait to talk to me until I’m either on the phone, or I’m conversing with another adult. It’s usually something really important too like, “Mom, why don’t dogs get married?”
4. When the only time they want to “help” or contribute to housework happens to coincide with me being in a hurry to get it done. I’m sorry baby. You’re not really helping. Nice try though.
5. The above is a cousin to them desiring to “do it myself.” They want to dress themselves when you’re running late. Every time. I want to foster independence, but I start to twitch while those tiny fingers struggle with buttons and put shoes on the wrong foot.
6. Potty training period, but specifically their desire to pee at inopportune times.
They don’t have to pee at home before you go somewhere, but they do have to pee right when you pull out of the driveway. Or when you leave the store. Or when there’s no available bathroom. Or if you’re in a hurry. Naturally.
7. You know when they’re crying, and you go to console them and hold them, and then they blow their nose on your shirt? Yeah. That.
Subsequently this usually happens when you’re wearing a nice shirt.
8. You know how nice it is to finally sit down after you finish your plethora of required, household duties? Well, that’s when they ask for stuff. When you sit down. Every. Time.
9. How they have an uncanny ability to ask for stuff when you don’t have it.
Forget the sippy cup? They will be the thirstiest they have ever been in their life. They will be certain that imminent death due to dehydration is very near.
10. When they don’t like what’s on their plate, yet they love the same thing when it’s on yours.
Why is that?! It’s the same thing. Why are you eating off my plate like a little Helen Keller?!
And that’s really all I have to say about that.
12. My hands are full; they’re always full. So why do they ask me to hold their stuff?
Why bring your favorite cuddle buddy and then not cuddle them?!
No, I can’t hold your sippy cup. You’re dying of thirst, remember?!
13. All accidents occur away from home, and usually when you are lacking extra supplies.
For example, diaper blowouts only happen when you forget the diaper bag. Or peepee accidents occur when a change of clothing is forgotten.
14. Missing shoes period, but especially the fact that they can’t see them right in front of their face when sent to look.
You don’t see that shoe in your room right at your feet until I point it out, but you found the one speck of pepper in your scrambled eggs this morning!
15. And last but not least.
When they do bad, annoying stuff, and then I realize they got it from me.
I love those little darlings, but yes, they drive me crazy too.