Hey, see that perfect couple over there? Yeah, me neither.
I think sometimes I may unintentionally come across in some of my posts as if the hubby and I have it all together. I frequently blog about how much I adore him, and it’s common for me to share relationship advice I may have gleaned over the years. I am happily married, but that doesn’t mean I’m always happy about everything.
I was thinking about my marriage this morning as I got ready for work, and I had to stop mid-routine just to tell God thank you. You see, the husband and I weren’t currently who we had always been before. If you could peer back across the years and be a fly on the wall you might be shocked at some of the raging, uncalled for arguments we used to have once upon a time. I had issues, and so did he. I was unreliable and he was irresponsible. I’m certain we both were incredibly selfish.
I went through a period of time where I didn’t trust him any farther than I could throw him, and when I think back on that now I’m amazed we’ve gotten to the place we have. I would love to take credit for pulling my life together, and cracking the whip sufficiently to make my husband straighten up, but it would be a bold-faced lie. I tried changing him, and me, and it never worked.
When I stopped this morning standing over my bathroom sink to give the Lord my gratitude it wasn’t because of efforts I had placed into my marriage. After all, God had done the changing. He had changed the hearts and healed the addictions. I had just obeyed. And so had my spouse.
Somewhere along the way as God set forth a cataclysmic transformation in our lives, I prayed. I prayed for my husband, and I know darn well that he prayed for me. I believed God was capable of answering my farfetched pleas, as I knew I had no power to make my husband a different man. I began to see him as different, though, even before God did anything grand. I took that glimmer of hope for our future, the spark I saw in my spouse’s eyes, and the truth that I knew in my heart. The truth that he was a good man. But other than that I just hung on tight.
You don’t get from point A to point B overnight, but one day you look up dumbfounded by how far you’ve come. Yet despite the distance we’ve traveled as a couple from that place we used to be we still have not achieved our final destination. In other words, we’re not there yet.
Our marriage isn’t perfect. I’m not the perfect wife, and he’s certainly not the perfect husband. But one thing I know; he is perfectly imperfect for me. And God has brought us too far not to keep on trucking and trying harder.
It’s true, there’s no such thing as the perfect couple, and don’t let anyone tell you different. But there is such a thing as two imperfect people who agree to love one another unconditionally, trust one another without question, and pray without ceasing for someone other than just themselves. In this situation two hopeless cases can collide and through the power of God’s forgiveness and grace they can rise up together from the ashes and build something beautiful. It won’t be perfect, but it can be pretty dang close.
LauraK says
Jim and I just stayed up allllll night talking about this. We have both had some issues we are working on and are in the healing process.. trying to get to the other side. Were smack dab in the middle. Its so crazy! U read my mind. I hope we get there soon. Were both trying and neither of us are going to give up.. but gosh.. we have a gap there somewhere that males us both be jerks some days. I believe God is 100% the answer.
brieann.rn@gmail.com says
Keep praying, keep believing, keep hanging on.
LauraK says
So thank u for sharing! It gave me.comfort!!
brieann.rn@gmail.com says
Thank you for commenting.