I don’t think I’ve ever liked rumors. They always reminded me of an old party game I played as a kid where you’d whisper a phrase into the ear of the person beside you, and then they’d pass it along the circle. By the time it came back around it was always distorted from what it had been initially, and the rumor mill proved in my adolescence to always be like that. Distorted truth.
As an adult I live a pretty simple life. I love my children, I dote on my husband, and try to exist peacefully in my own surroundings. I keep my nose to the grindstone and I mind my own business. It’s not that I don’t care about what’s going on out there; I just figure if it’s of importance I’ll hear about it eventually. The thing is that with this kind of existence I am usually the last one to hear what’s happening. Unless someone spells it out to me directly I’ll probably miss it.
I like it this way. Less drama, you know? So imagine my surprise when I recently realized I was the center of a circulating rumor. It turns out an unfortunate incident had occurred with a friend, and somehow my name was tangled in the midst of it. In fact, I discovered through word of mouth that I was actually to blame for this situation. Per the rumor I had been the causative factor, yet I was the last one to know.
Two weeks it seems. For about two weeks the whispers and erroneous conversations existed that placed me at the center of a vicious rumor, and I was clueless. The worst part, depending on how you look at it, was that I was innocent. I was in slack-mouthed shock and awe to discover I had been accused and convicted by the jury of public opinion. I had been blamed for something I had nothing to do with, and I didn’t even know it.
Everyone else knew, and I was honestly devastated. I had been the victim of rumors in the past, but never as a professional adult, and certainly not when absolutely zero of the story had any truth at all. I felt like I was being slandered to tell the truth. I felt like my character had been defamed, and considering I took pride in my reputation this was just awful in my eyes.
Indeed, I felt like people were staring, judging, forming false opinions, and I just wanted to scream from the rooftops, “it wasn’t me!!!”
But how do you stop a rumor once it’s begun, and especially after two weeks have passed? I felt helpless, and even if the truth could be told, would it really be heard? People form opinions, and they tend to believe the worst about someone. That’s easier than believing people can truly be kind. I knew that even my denial would be met with suspicious glances, so I shrunk inside myself.
I felt injustice, and I felt shame. I felt worry over public opinion, and I feared the future environments I would possibly face. It felt like crap.
I spoke to my husband, God bless his heart, and I ruminated over his kind words. “As long as you’re right with Jesus you’re ok, baby.”
I spent some time on this one, honestly. I knew my spouse was right, but I was angry. I wanted revenge, and I wanted to bring to the surface the person who had spoken my name in error. I wanted justice, even if it had been an honest mistake.
The thing is there’s so many challenges in life that occur that give us the opportunity to practice our faith. These tough situations give us the chance to follow through on our belief that God has our back, and our reaction to these circumstances are the proof in the pudding. I think I neglected this in the beginning to tell the truth, but as I spent time praying and listening I knew that it was something I just had to let go. It was something else outside of my control in life that I had to surrender.
When you want to really believe that God is for you, and that therefore no one can prevail against you, then you have to walk in that. You have to hand over some situations to allow the Lord to deliver you and bring the truth to light. Revenge seems more fun, but in the end, for me, trust was the only way I could proceed.
Romans 8:28
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.
When you believe this verse and wish to claim it for your life then you believe that He has all things under His control, even the uncomfortable, bad things. He works it all for my good, and I just have to move forward in that faith.
This acceptance didn’t make it suddenly okay that people had spoken falsely about me, and it didn’t completely erase the emotions I felt over being wrongfully accused, or ridiculous rumors being spread about me. But it did ease my situation. I finally allowed myself to grab ahold of the feeling of hope that God would fight for me, and that truth would prevail if I kept a cool, level head. Regardless, I knew the truth, my conscious was clean, and my God was working it for my good. Even if I couldn’t see how.
If I have taken anything positive from this, aside from a deepened trust in Jesus that most difficult situations bring me, it’s a heightened awareness of what rumors do. We could all benefit from the reminder that continued participation in gossip doesn’t just make for an entertaining conversation. It also ruins a real person’s reputation and makes for a very uncomfortable environment for them to interact in. And if it’s false information then you’re participating in slander as well. I know I’ll certainly keep this in mind from here on out.
meltedflowers says
What the… who on earth would gossip about you????? people are crazy. i know what you mean and how you feel…. i have to deal with stuff like this all the time.. biggest reason i dont talk to so called relatives any more.. just ignore the haters.. people are stupid and like to pick on others so they can ignore what is wrong in their own useless lives.. sorry if i sound harsh but i dislike people.. i like a very few select. you are one of them…. just slap them and yell mosquito… if they get mad be like i was saving your life.. them things can make you sick.. and then giggle what they gonna do, cry? people suck im sorry they are this way.. i have never heard anything but good about you and even if i heard something stupid i would not believe it i know you are awesome and nobody will ever change my mind.
brieann.rn@gmail.com says
Well, your words are a little harsher than I would put them. But I do realize that is how we are different and that’s okay too. I’m not worried about anyone’s opinion of me or haters as you call it. I just like to maintain an upstanding reputation, but I understand that is not always easy. I’m really not upset with anyone who talked about this or heard about it as it’s just natural tendency for us as human beings to tell a good story. So although it hurt me I’m understanding of the situation also.
meltedflowers says
you are much nicer than me.. i have been hurt too much by words of others.. and i tend to not be so understanding.. .. you are one of the good ones.
Kelly says
I will give you a bit of crude advice. Opinions are like buttholes. Everyone has one And I agree with your husband. If you are right with Jesus, nothing else matters
brieann.rn@gmail.com says
Thank you. And that first comment was one of my mother’s favorite sayings.