Being a nurse is hard, but I’m aware there are a lot of hard jobs out there. I was in the military, and I would probably be of the opinion that it’s more difficult than being a civilian nurse. There are probably hundreds of jobs in fact that are more challenging than my own, but since I’m a nurse that’s what I know about. And I just know that it’s flipping hard to be one.
It’s not the skills I have to know, and while they are many and extremely challenging, it’s not that. It’s not even the plethora of knowledge that I must cram into my brain, or the fact that it is ever-changing. It’s not simply the twelve hour shifts, missed lunch breaks, delayed attempts to empty my bladder, or even the repeated weekends and holidays spent away from my family. And while it’s extremely stressful to hold a position where your actions can inflict grievous bodily harm on another person if a mistake is made, it’s not even that huge nugget that makes it so hard.
You see, the fact is that no one really, truly understands what it’s like to be a nurse except for other nurses. And nothing is more unpopular to the general public than for a nurse to complain. As a matter of fact many people reading this now probably think I need to get over it. In a way I can totally understand that. Indeed we hold a highly respected position in the community, and people just assume that we love it. Well, the truth is, we do. We do love it, but that fact doesn’t negate the hard truth that it’s an extremely difficult job. And I guess for me sometimes the hardest flipping part about being a nurse is that I can’t talk about how difficult, stressful, and exasperating my profession can be at times. Not all the time, but because yes, sometimes it is.
By a majority of society nurses are seen as the angels of healthcare, and I honestly love that perception, but it’s also a hard role to carry. And it’s hardest in the belief that because we are who we are in patient care that we absolutely cannot experience dissatisfaction with our position. I mean, we love being nurses, right? So we can’t get angry, discontent, or flustered! It doesn’t fit.
I have been writing about nursing for a few years now, and many of my words have reached millions of people across the globe, but in that I have received some negative feedback from others. I’ve been told by complete strangers that I am a “terrible nurse” that they hope “never takes care of them.” I’ve been told I “should be ashamed of myself” and that I “don’t deserve to be a nurse.” These comments have hurt me deeply, and they all came because I honestly spoke about the trials, difficulties, and struggles I experience in my field. But to many people out there I’m not supposed to speak about such things. I’m not allowed to get frustrated with the difficulties of my profession, and though the rest of the world can complain, as a nurse I cannot. It’s considered disrespectful to my profession to be in essence a human being with human feelings. Instead I am expected to be a smiling pillar of strength for my patients, even the difficult ones, and though I love being that fortress of security and encouragement to my patients, the truth is it’s hard.
Many people will say I should have known what I was getting into, but I don’t think you can ever know for real until you’re in the thick of it. The thing is now I do know, and I wouldn’t have it any other way, but sometimes I need to talk about my day. Sometimes it’s not pretty, but I want to feel like someone out there understands. The hardest part of nursing is feeling alone in the frustrations of a field you love and can’t imagine not being a part of.
Many people will say I get paid handsomely for the stress I endure, and while I’ll agree that my income is substantial compared to others, I just don’t think you can ever put a dollar amount on a vocation where you hold the key to wellness in your hand, and the difference between someone’s life or death rests on your shoulders. But I’m not supposed to talk about that either. In fact, if I complain period I’m probably just in it for the money, but any other nurse will tell you that’s not true. Money is irrelevant when it comes down to the meat and potatoes of why we do what we do.
You see, this morning I woke early and unexpectedly with thoughts of work in my head. I was sure I had forgotten some piece of documentation, and this remembrance brought my sweet patient to mind. I said a prayer for her recovery, and I hoped that the teaching I had given to her and her family on preventing pneumonia complications during the rest of her hospitalization would be helpful. I wanted to see her get better and get back home, and I could only hope I played a part in that eventual outcome.
Because the truth is I love my patients. All my patients, even the difficult ones. And I love nursing. We all do, and this is why so many times I answer the phone at work and it’s a co-worker enquiring about the patient they cared for the day before. Yet sometimes I get frustrated, and sometimes I want to share my feelings with others. It’s nice in life to feel like you’re not alone, to feel like someone understands your situation and agrees. It makes it not so hard.
As it stands I don’t know if I can continue to write about nursing. There are just too many people who don’t benefit from the topic it seems, and as a nurse and human being my greatest gift is helping others and lifting them up.
Nursing is flipping hard, and being misunderstood as a nurse is even harder. It’s especially hard when you can’t say it’s hard out loud. Perhaps some of you out there will understand exactly what I mean, and for that I say thank you.
As usual you are spot on. I think sometimes it’s so hard because more than any other profession there is such a constant emotional weight associated with the work. Being a nurse is hard. Being a nurse leader is hard in a different way. If it wasn’t hard would we love it as much?
P.s. Don’t quit writing!
Thank you, and that last statement is so very true.
It’s hard on so many levels. Just the emotional aspect of walking into one room and comforting a dying patient to then going into the next and needing to be encouraging and upbeat- it can be draining! But I couldn’t see myself doing anything else. I love your writing- it’s always so encouraging!
Thank you so much.
Last Thursday I was near tears after work and searching for some kind of solace. I came across a post, you were venting, and said you would like to take call lights and hide them. And other funny things. That was just what I needed. The work load is overwhelming sometimes and the fact that I could be life threatening to someone instead of life giving does not make it easier. And it’s so physically difficult. I have been a nurse 39 years, so many people are so fat now, so sick at younger ages. Also, I have learned how political health care is, all in all, I could write all night. It’s difficult, it’s rewarding and people who aren’t bedside nurses should go read blogs that apply to their careers. I hope you don’t quit, I just found you!!!
Thank you.
Brie- I am a nursing instructor for an LPN program. I read your blog every night before I go to bed. I have read your blogs about nursing with a tears in my eyes to my students because I feel it’s important to them to know what it means to be a nurse. Your trials and tribulations, along with my own, have become part of my teaching in both the classes and in their clinical setting. I know it has touched their hearts as well as mine. I just wanted to say that as nurses we have a very unique opportunity to care. I believe it is important for my students to know it is ok to feel. That is why we decided to be a nurse! Please don’t quit writing about nursing. We all need each other for support.
Thank you so much!
Brie, don’t quit!! God have being use as His light to shine upon so many people in the world!!! Hold on to this verse, “The LORD is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? The LORD is the strength of my life; of whom shall I be afraid?”
Lots of love!!!
Vanessa
Thank you!
Haver been using you**
Have**
Brie..it’s me!! And you know how much I LOVE your blogs. I don’t practice my nursing at this time, but I can always relate to each and every post of yours. You’re amazing and please, PLEASE, don’t let anyone take your “gifts” away from you or those who follow you. Your blogs give inspiration and encouragement……only those in nursing can understand, and that’s okay!!
There are still so many who need to “discover” your site….please continue it. My daughter is in her third year of nursing, and I often share your blogs with her as a source of encouragement. I am so proud of her, of our nursing profession, and your blogs continuously support that love of the profession.
To heck with those rude and irrational comments…we will always encounter such comments whether it’s nursing or other paths in life. If anything, those comments should encourage and drive us to move forward and upward.
You have a gift and it’s my prayer that you will continue to share it with others.
Sending you hugs my fellow nursing friend.
Denise
Thank you. Much appreciated. ☺️
I just want to say THANK YOU for sharing on your blog about nursing, it is the reason I read it. You are always spot on in your posts and your sharing what a lot of us are thinking and feeling helps me and many others who are in the medical profession. Please don’t stop!
Thank you!
I feel your pain. We all want to “fix” our patients, their families and the system. I am at the end of my 42 year nursing career and find my self rolling with things more and not trying to fix everything. If our patients, families and the public cannot see our love and caring then that is their loss. Lucky for us most can see us trying to be the best nurse we can be! Do not stop writing about nursing…you are an example of a nurse we all want to take care of us!!!!! Thanks
Thank you so much.
Don’t you dare stop writing! You share what 95% of nurses feel. Yes there will always be that person who feels the need to put you down and call you names, but please don’t let those bullies stop you from sharing your experiences. It’s refreshing to read your blogs and know that many of the feelings I have, other nurses have too. I’ve “done” many different types of nursing, med surg, TU/ICU, and now Home health. We all need to just understand that our struggles are real and we are not alone. The role of a nurse is a constantly changing career as evidenced by (did you catch that?) less than a century ago we were helping with bedpans and keeping them in bed for long periods of time to now placing people into hypothermia to save what is left of their heart. There is stress in this job! And if writing about that stress, and complaining or venting about it is your way of coping with that stress, then have at it! You have a right to freedom of speech, and I enjoy reading what you choose to speak about…clearly you have a gift.
Thank you so much.
This nurse loves your nursey posts- I’m sorry you’ve gotten flack for simply venting and telling it like it is. People just need to realize that we are humans that get frustrated with our work sometimes and just need to vent. Or place the call light in a difficult to reach place that will buy us a few extra seconds before you hit it again. (That last sentence was written in a sarcastic, venting tone, and I would never actually do it, just in case anyone takes offense.)
Thank you!
Hi Brie,
Recently I experienced a very difficult week in the ICU. I have to say that you have spoke many of my emotions in this column. So thank you, I have been an RN for 33 years, and now during the end of my career here I am back at the bedside–my choice, its where my heart is. Some days can be quite challenging, but overall so far very rewarding. My husband and son are both military pilots, and my daughter will soon begin a career in medicine as a military physician. I agree military life is tough but also rewarding. Nursing like military service are careers where personal satisfaction is gained from helping others and requires a team approach. So may God Bless you and please keep sharing.
Thank you!
Please don’t stop writing about nursing! I need it! I’ve only been a nurse for three years. In the icu right after graduation. I need to hear about other nurses and your blog combines god into it as well. It keeps me going! Please don’t stop!
Thank you.
Thank you so much for your words- I love being a nurse, but often feel alone in the stress and struggles of being a nurse, and that it’s not right for me to say it’s hard or feels impossible even though I can’t imagine my work life any other way! Thank you for being courageous in sharing, I am sure there are many nurses like myself who feel alone in the joy and struggles of our profession, and with your honesty, I felt understood and less alone! Your words made a difference in this world today! Thank you!
Thank you!
I have been a critical care nurse for 30+ years. You hit the nail on the head Brie! We are expected to be invincible. Always “on”. We are never supposed to be moody, or needy, heaven forbid we just have an ‘off” day..
I love my job, and I love my patients. I just am tired of the politics, and tired of the concept of hotel medicine, and patient satisfaction driving everything we do. Please, don’t stop writing. We need you to keep us grounded, and your writings let us know that there are others out there that are struggling. Thank you for fearlessly sending those messages. I look forward to hearing from you again. God bless…