Yesterday the Terminator 3 movie was on TV. I was only half paying attention as I scurried around the house picking up discarded children’s socks without the sight of their match and tried to clean up the aftermath of breakfast for a family of five. I had seen it before, but despite a sink full of dishes I just had to sit down and watch Arnold. He was cracking me up in his role. He was so deadpan and emotionless in his interactions with young John Conner. He saw things in black and white. He seemed unmoved by the excited and worried outbursts of the humans around him. He had a mission and that was his main objective. I thought, that might be nice.
You see, in my short 36 years on this earth I’ve discovered something. I actually discovered it long ago. It’s simply that as I age I realize it doesn’t change and attempt to learn and deal with it better. The thing is, human interaction is a crazy, difficult thing. The system of it is flawed. It’s flawed because of us all and I’m really not sure if it can be fixed. There’s a few reasons that make it hard and could make someone just want to write off human interaction all together. As an introvert like myself that feeling just comes natural. And sometimes it makes me wonder if being a robot, void of feelings, wouldn’t somehow be an improvement of the current situation.
For one, people will always misunderstand you. Not all the time, but often times they will. They will misunderstand you completely. I’m not talking about disagreement. Disagreement is fine and dandy. I expect people to disagree with me. What a boring world it would be if we all thought alike. Disagreement is good. It’s not easy, but it’s good.
I’m talking about when you intend a certain reaction but people choose to interpret it other than how you meant for them to. It’s like you could say, “I hate the commercialism surrounding Christmas!” You just mean you don’t like pretty packages subtracting from the gift given in Bethlehem years ago. But what some people will hear is “I’m a Scrooge!” or even “I hate Christmas!”
This is never more present than in a world of diminished personal communication. The influx of Tweets, status updates, and texts have multiplied the ability to misunderstand. Without tone and facial expression to accompany words they can often be misconstrued. It really stinks when you write something intending a certain thought you wish to convey, but it’s not seen in the light you wished. Not at all.
The thing is no one can see your heart. I’m what you would call a “sharer.” I share my heart. I share my thoughts. It shouldn’t matter to me what people think of them, and most of the time it doesn’t. But sometimes it does. Sometimes I do care what people think.
Sometimes you even place your heart on your sleeve, placing it out in the open so people can see. So they can see what you hold dear, see your fears, your concerns, your dreams. The sad fact though is that even if you open your heart to others, they still may not see.
Because people will see what they want to see. It’s a disappointing but true fact that sometimes, often times, people will see only what they wish to see. It’s almost like optimists verses pessimists. I’m personally an optimist. I try to always see the good, always see the silver lining, because I believe deep down that most people are good, created by a God that intended such for His people.
But some people don’t think like I do. Some people only want to see bad. Some people can be confronted with fifty good things and one negative thing. They will choose to focus solely on the bad every time. And twice on Sundays.
These are the same people who can’t see your heart. These are the same people who will never see the good you do. But they will be waiting in line when you make a mistake or fall short in some way. When you fall they will be the crowd surrounding you with jeers and pointed fingers.
All hope is not lost. There will be a person or two in that crowd who will come forward and bend to help you. They will hold out their hand, offering support while you get onto your feet. Hold onto these kind of people. They are rare. Sadly you won’t always place your focus on these generous souls. You will be fixated on the mean people.
Because it’s true. Some people are mean. Some people gather profound joy in misunderstanding you, ignoring your bleeding heart, and only seeing the worst in you. After all, we all have ugly parts. It’s that whole being human thing again. Such a nuisance, right? Being human you will be wrong sometimes. It just so happens that some people love to point that out, to kick you while you’re down. I’m not sure how to change that, but I know how I choose to respond.
It’s easy to get your feelings hurt when people are mean, when they oppose you, when they see all bad rather than the good you intend. First reaction is to want to lash out. Then you may want to hide, to just curl into a ball and cry. Or maybe you’ll wish you could give up on the whole human race and become a robot!
But then what? I look around at my three year old dancing to the Frozen soundtrack. I feel that pride and love for her in my heart.
I hold my baby to my chest as I rock her to sleep and I feel like my heart may burst.
I look at my wedding photo and catch a glimpse of my husband’s smile. I realize how much I miss him when he’s at work, and I feel excitement over his return, over the thought of a welcome home embrace.
I think of the pride I feel when I care for my patients to my best ability. I think of their compliments and sincere “thank you’s” as I leave the hospital for the day. I think of the exhaustion after a hectic shift, of the life saved despite the odds. And I feel satisfied. I feel blessed.
I feel the peace of God. And then I feel like I can breathe again.
I don’t suppose I could experience these things if I was a robot. I don’t imagine I could feel the joy without the pain. I couldn’t taste the sweet without the salty. I couldn’t have happy without a bit of sad along the way.
The human interaction is a flawed experience. It does hurt sometimes. Sometimes it sucks big time. But then it doesn’t. Then it’s really, really wonderful. And I’ll take that over a cyborg any day.
Lenny Sweet says
Was a nurse for 43 years and in small hospitals worked every department at one time or other. I especially like number 17.
brieann.rn@gmail.com says
Thank you for commenting.
Kit says
I loved your blog, and I have to say anyone with anything negative to say has probably never been or intimately known a nurse. The works expects so many things from us…always be giving, always be caring, never get angry, never be late, never screw up. They have no idea what a day in the life of a nurse is really like. No matter how much we love what we do, we’re still human. We do get angry and frustrated. We have thoughts that maybe we shouldn’t…just like in any other profession. In any other profession, though, it’s acceptable. We’re supposed to be saints, therefore not allowed to have those thoughts…not allowed to be angry or frustrated. We give and give, and the most we can hope for is a patient to look at us and say, “thank you for all you’ve done.” I love this career I’ve chosen, and with all my being I know I am on the right path. I will do EVERYTHING I can to care for my patients to the best of my ability, to make their darkest moments a little brighter. But this does NOT exempt me from being human. And any naysayers have no idea what we go through. So God bless you for all you do, for the lives you’ve changed for the better, and for always managing to muster up enough love to do your job. No one will ever know just how much you care, because they can’t unless they’ve been right in your shoes.
brieann.rn@gmail.com says
Wow! Thank you. Just what I needed to hear, and it’s as if you reached into my brain and pulled my thoughts out. You said exactly what I feel. Thank you so much for understanding my heart and putting it in your comment. I love my patients. I love what I do. Some days it’s hard. That’s all.
Cathy says
Hi Brieann,
First off, I want to say I loved, loved, loved “30 things”! I recently retired after being a nurse for 20+ years. Along with that, I have been a patient, a mother, and a wife/caregiver after my husband’s cardiac arrest, recusitation and 5 vessel bypass. Every thing you listed, I have thought at least once, and probably much more than only once. AND, my husband’s nurses probably thought them about me!
My point is, people can be idiots. The angry, disgruntled responses that you got were from people who hijacked what was intended as a humorous moment in what can be a hard profession. They took your moment and made it their platform and used it to air their personal grievances. That was wrong on their part, but as I always told my kids, consider the source!
The nurses (and wonderful CNA’s) who responded received your post in the spirit in which it was given. And we appreciated it. Thank you for sharing your humor with us. I can tell you are an outstanding nurse! Cathy
brieann.rn@gmail.com says
Thanks so much Cathy! I really appreciate your comment and compliment. More than you know. Thanks again.
Penny Raines says
I have been an RN for 32 yrs, and with a very sarcastic nature, I have said most of these things. I am a very caring nurse and have loved my job, but there are certain individuals who push every button you have at the same time and need the some sarcastic tongue, which is part of their care.
brieann.rn@gmail.com says
Thank you for commenting Penny.
Patty Mefford says
I’m with you, Penny! I’ve been an RN for 38 years and actually enjoy a good volley with so called “difficult patients”. Most of them lighten up when we don’t buckle under!
Kelly says
Thanks for writing down things that run through every great nurse’s head! I usually vow to quit nursing once every other year or so due to the impossible situations that arise for many of our clients’ over which we have no effect. Most non-nursing people don’t really understand what it takes from each of us to be that great nurse. 32 years in….no retirement in sight! Keep up the good work
brieann.rn@gmail.com says
Thank you so much for the comment and understanding.
Alyssa says
Just read your “30 things a nurse almost says” I’m sorry you had to disable comments on it. But it made my week! Absolutely hilarious. I work on a heavy medical floor. We are “over budget”, understaffed and over worked. I love my job. But nurses have a certain sense of humor and every once in a while need to laugh rather than rip our hair out. Loved every number on your list! Find myself thinking one, if not more just about every shift. Thanks for the laugh!
brieann.rn@gmail.com says
Thank you for commenting and seeing the humor.
Hannah says
I truly appreciate your list! Those who respond rudely do not understand the situations we are put in on a daily basis. No, my job description does not include putting up with suggestive comments and I am not a drug dealer here to enable your addiction. We CARE about our patients. That is why it’s so frustrating to interact with a patient who is disrespectful or unwilling to participate in their own care and healing. There are hundreds of funny “ecards” and memes online that have extremely similar sentiments as you expressed in your list. You were attacked because it was as easy as clicking “Post Comment”. Cyber bullying isn’t just a kid thing, y’all!!!
brieann.rn@gmail.com says
Thank you or commenting and for understanding. I knew fellow nurses would.
marsha says
Im not a nurse, but I met a lot of really nice ones when my husband was in the hospital after his motorcycle wreck. Just wanted you to know that while I was helping my husband some of his roommates made me think the exact same things that you put in your post. Anyone that read that and thought you were a horrible person should probably spend some time in a hospital helping out.
brieann.rn@gmail.com says
Thank you so much for your comment. I appreciate all the kind support. I’m receiving nothing but encouragement and it feels wonderful. Thanks again.
Kelly says
As someone who has chronic health issues, I get to see an awful lot of your guys (nurses, of all types) day-to-day. I have had all levels of care, from truly disinterested in providing care, to so kind that I thought maybe I HAD died this time, and maybe it was angels, not nurses taking care of me. I can only remember two nurses of COUNTLESS others that really upset me. All the others were wonderful, at least doing their level best to hide whatever personal stuff they had so they could focus on me and my care. I hate the patients that act entitled to anything over perfunctory care, its almost embarrassing! I’m grateful to my nurses, because they spend the most time with me, even rubbing my back when I’m crying!
My point in this is that I want you all to know that there are patients out there that remember you long after discharged from your care and are thankful for you and the care you gave. And to the people that were negative jerkballs, grow a sense of humor!! You mean to tell me you’ve never been assisting a customer that was a total a$$hat and had thoughts similar to these? Get OVER yourselves!
THANKS NURSES!!!
brieann.rn@gmail.com says
Thanks for the comment! You gave me a smile this day when I really needed it. Loved the “hat” reference. Thankful that you’ve had more good experience than bad, and praying for your health. Thanks again.
Rita Flanagan says
Very well written and said, hun. You hit the nail on the head, so to speak. I am Proud of you. I enjoyed reading this mostly because it was from the heart. Never let anyone discourage you from writing. lol
brieann.rn@gmail.com says
Thank you so much! Glad you enjoyed it. I’ll definitely keep on keeping on.
ERnurse57 says
Accurate and True! We all have thought at least half of those at one time or the other!! No problem!!
brieann.rn@gmail.com says
Thanks for the comment.
Angela says
Screw the haters. If they’ve ever been a healthcare provider they’d be lying if they said they never thought at least one of those things. I’m a nurse and every one of those rang true. Great job.
brieann.rn@gmail.com says
Thank you.
Cornelia says
Hilarious….Thank you thank you…I am a nurse and a mother. Have had both jobs for over 20 years. I have thought each and everyone of those thoughts in a more colorful tongue about both of those jobs at one point or another The person who called you a “douche bag” is probably on of those people, as I tell my staff, you just have to love’em. Love’em around the neck….REAL tight. Looking forward to your next post.
brieann.rn@gmail.com says
Thank you for the comment. I appreciate it. And thanks for making me smile with images of “love’em real tight around the neck.” 😉
Rosalinda Cagampang says
You nailed it…Nurses role is the most difficult to those difficult patients to handle , but we keep all those words in our mind…. Thank you for sharing… More power to you and to all nurses .
brieann.rn@gmail.com says
Thank you for the comment.
Missy says
Thank you for the hilarious “30 things..” list! I think as nurses we will have or somehow develop a sense of humor to keep ourselves sane!
And I couldn’t agree more when you said:
“I think of the exhaustion after a hectic shift, of the life saved despite the odds. And I feel satisfied. I feel blessed.”
Nursing is challenging but indeed it is a really rewarding and fulfilling profession. ;D I look forward to your future posts. Take care kind comrade!
brieann.rn@gmail.com says
Thank you so much for the great comment!
cindy Boekeloo says
Great post, I am an aide, and care greatly for the people I’ve taken care of over the years. And I’ve been on the other side of the bed. I not only have had all of those thoughts myself, I’ve had to work hard to make sure my husband was not the patient the nurse needed to “hug real tight around the neck”. People are idiots, and often think nurses and aides are some kind of super humans with no feelings of their own.
brieann.rn@gmail.com says
Thank you for commenting! I appreciate your great thoughts.
Katie Mandle says
Having been a nurse 23 years, a paramedic and a Police Officer for ten years I’ve found in all of them a common thread. Humor. Sick though it may be at times to ourselves or a co-worker, it is a way to vent the pent up frustrations we all feel from the job we do. It takes a special person with a special mentality to do what we do and remain sane. If you couldn’t release those feelings of anger, sadness, frustration etc somewhere other than on a patient you would explode. The adage “Gallows Humor”. We all suffer from PTSD in some form or other just based on what we’ve seen and patients we’ve cared for and lost. We are human. We cannot “shut off”
At work and put it in a box until the next shift. Management often forget these things. It is now a world of “customer service”. If patients wait too long, don’t get what they want from the MD, etc. It is the nurses fault. Them they wonder why so many are burnt out and leave. Or do the bare minimum to get by.
brieann.rn@gmail.com says
Thank you! Great comment. You are so very right.
Russ says
I’m graduating with my RN degree in a matter of weeks and I have caught myself thinking some of these things at clinicals. I’m glad I’m not the only one thanks for what turned out to be an encouraging post for a wet behind the ears almost nurse.
brieann.rn@gmail.com says
Thank you! Hang in there!
Christine says
I’m also an ICU nurse, and it is definitely making me more calloused to the “needs” of a lot of my patients. I have had to give patients tough love about them not being my only patient. Sometimes patients in the ICU simply think, I’m here, I’m the only patient, and my nurse should be here every 5 minutes.
brieann.rn@gmail.com says
Thanks for commenting. I understand. Thanks for sharing. Hang in there.
mandy says
So very true. Ive been a nurse for 16 years and relate to them all!!
brieann.rn@gmail.com says
Thank you!
kathy says
I have been a nurse since 1965 just stopped nursing go girl I always say well forgive them they are sick I feel sorry for the waitress her clients are well and look how bad they treat them and often she can end up paying their bill and more often no tip by the way you forgot the things we’d like to say in our private life because we are a nurse but don’t
brieann.rn@gmail.com says
Thanks for the comment!
Mary says
Hi. I just read “30 things.” I am not a nurse, but my son was born disabled. I have spent much time in hospital settings, and have nothing but love for every nurse that has helped with our family. I also have a big family full of nurses and others who work in hospitals. I saw nothing in that post that would make me think you are anything less than human. No matter what job we have (I work with children in a public school environment) we are allowed to have thoughts much like your list. You can still love your job and the people you work with and have bad days. Keep up the writing, I loved the post.
brieann.rn@gmail.com says
Thank you so much! Your understanding means a great deal to me. God bless you.
Ed Carlson MD says
I have been an ER doctor for more than 40yrs. ER nurses are some of the most abused professionals in the world. They bite their tongue a lot. I believe the 30 points are right on, and actually on the pleasant side. The douche-bag comment is obviously from some one who has no touch with the reality of nursing. They also bring more validity to the 30 points. One of my favorite comment that was told in sincerity was” Does the word SOAP have any meaning to you?”
brieann.rn@gmail.com says
Thank you so much for the great comment and understanding of nursing.
Deb says
Right on the money, I’d say ~ loved & felt every 30 of them ~ and laughter is a good stress reliever!:-)
brieann.rn@gmail.com says
Thank you so much!
Charity says
Hey Lady,
I have no connections to the healthcare industry myself, but even I could understand and appreciate the humor in your 30 things post. Anyone who interacts with any other living person ought to, because we humans can be selfish, entitled creatures at least some of the time, and if we aren’t acting like it, we’re sometimes dealing with people who are.
You’re right that there are those who love to practically celebrate the bad, and I imagine others were throwing stones out of a place of fear for what their nurses would be thinking when they’re in that vulnerable state, instead of putting themselves in your shoes (heck, many of them would actually SHOUT those things at patients, if they were!).
I chose to take it as a reminder to not make a nurse’s day harder the next time I’m laid up in the hospital 😉
Also, can anyone tell me why they’re called “patients”? Is it to be ironic?!
brieann.rn@gmail.com says
Thanks for the comment and your understanding. You’re right. It’s not just a nurses’ thing. It’s a human thing. We are ALL human. Thanks again.
Subsequently, I’ve always wondered about “patients!”
Jenni says
I absolutely loved your post!! I’ve been a nurse for 20 years and boy can I relate!! But what I noticed more than the hilarity of how eloquently you listed everything we all think at one time or another is how much your obvious faith and love for our profession comes through. After all, how many times a night have we said to each other or just thought pillow check room 213, and in our little bit of sarcasm amongst our peers we find the release we need to go back into that same room with a smile and say “how may I help you?”. It’s all in a days work, and without that brevity and our faith we could not go on. So thank you for your post!! Have a blessed day!
brieann.rn@gmail.com says
Thank you so much! It really made me smile reading your comment. I’m so happy you saw the things most important to me underlying it all. Thanks again. God bless you.
Erika says
I enjoyed your list. Btw, origin of patient: Middle English: from Old French, from Latin patient- ‘suffering,’ from the verb pati . To ‘be patient’ doesn’t mean totally calm and peaceful. It should be used to describe the act of putting up with something that is trying, or at least involves a bit of discomfort. ‘A patient’ is one who suffers through something. I’ve found that a simple please or thank-you can work magic on a harried nurse. Also, a box of girl scout cookies delivered to the break room doesn’t hurt.
brieann.rn@gmail.com says
Thank you for commenting. I enjoyed it. And amen on the please, thank you, and cookies!
Jim Banner says
I have only once seen a nurse lose her cool and tell a patient off. And I just lay there, silently cheering her on. It was a patient who’s demands and condescending demeanor constituted, in my opinion, harassment. For example, demanding (and receiving) his pain pills immediately, then spending the next half hour hollering that he needed ice water. When the nurse finally got a break from her other patients and brought him his ice water, he thoroughly berated her for leaving him in pain for three quarters of an hour. When she pointed out that he had a pitcher of water at bedside and was not confined to bed or even to his room, he started accusing her of insulting him by suggesting he could get cooler water from the bathroom right next to his bed or could get his own ice from the cooler a few steps down the hall. I was starting to think it was about time to call the mental ward but he got indignant and called his family to come and take him home, which thankfully, they did. Later, I thanked the nurse, and told her that while I agreed with everything she said, if I were asked, I never heard a thing.
I too ask why some people cannot seem to say please and thank you. Sure, you may be in considerable pain, but the nurses and others involved in your care did not cause that pain, they are instead doing everything they can to alleviate it and heal whatever caused it. How hard is it to say thank you when you are so thankful for their help?
brieann.rn@gmail.com says
Thank you for the comment and for sharing!
lacy says
I preciate your first post was in jest however it was re posted by some really nasty peopleI have been in the hospital and treated poorly by nursesI’ve also had my child in a children’s hospital and had the best treatment ever. you are entitled to joking around howeverhopefully you have some empathy and realize the people in the hospital are usually at their worst and give them a little grace as you would like to be giving grace for may be posting something that offended peopleI believe this last post conveys more the person you want to be viewed as than the other oneeveryday people are frustrated with what they have to deal with at work sometimes its better not to say everything you think I didwant you to think about what it might feel like to have a patient posts about 30 different kinds of things that they want to say about that but don’t like why do I have to tell you how to spell my name 52 timesor why I have to write my pain when you’re going to tell me I’m wrong anywaymany of us are just as competent capable of you but we are at your mercy because we’re sickjust remember when people in the hospital they probably do seem unreasonable and if they could take care of themselves it probably wouldn’t be in the hospital
brieann.rn@gmail.com says
I apologize. I don’t know what else to say. The aftermath and anger about this post has affected me greatly. I didn’t intend to offend or anger anyone. I understand my apology doesn’t mean a thing to anyone, but it’s all I know to do. The outcry of anger has made me question my writing and has honestly caused me a lot of distress. If I could take it back I would, but I can’t. So I will simply allow people to continue to be angry with me if that helps them. I can only say to everyone offended, “it’s not about you. Please don’t take it so personal. And this post that angered you isn’t all there is to me either.”
brenda jones says
honesty does not require an apology. Nurse’s all over the world could write a book. Just remember HIPPA!
brieann.rn@gmail.com says
Thank you 🙂
Kathy Nolan says
Did not read the comments but I am a 40 year ICU Rn veteran. I laughed so harder and agree with all your what I might say. I bite my tongue all the time. Know that there are sisters and brothers that support you. Stay strong
brenda jones says
you are right, being a patient is worse than being a nurse! that’s why we try to do our best in the name of
God.
brieann.rn@gmail.com says
It is terrible to have to be a patient. And being a nurse and a patient is the worst. Lol. We all try to do our best 🙂
rose marshall says
As an RN with 5 years in the ER, I loved your post. I’m sorry you had to cut the comments. Some people are awful, always will be. What a terrible way to live. Don’t let them bother you. Clearly its meant for humor and if they were a nurse, they would understand that humor is sometimes the only thing that allows us to survive a bad shift. And by bad, I mean we can have really bad shifts, like an unsuccessful infant resuscitation bad… These things we deal with and we still come back because we hope that the next time turns out differently, because we care, because we love what we do. Don’t stop writing posts like that one. In fact, write more!
brieann.rn@gmail.com says
Thank you so much for the comment and for understanding where I’m coming from. I appreciate it more than you know.
shyane says
I have been a nurse for 26 yrs in a trauma/pediatric/surgical/anything but cardiac but even that sometimes too unit. I have thought or said all 30 of these and many more than once! I am quite sure each and every profession has their list just like this whether you are a cashier, dentist, teacher, etc. The fact is people are human and we do and say stupid stuff, we are whiney, and pains in the asses. As a nurse you see the worst in people and nurses are overworked and tired. Give us nurses a break…for we too are human!
brieann.rn@gmail.com says
Thanks for the comment.
NJ says
I loved your list, laughed , released tension built up from 40+ years of nursing. I’m sure there are uncaring nurses just as there are unmotivated rude people in most professions, however most stay in nursing because they do care. Who else would put up with the horrible hours, work loads, medico-legal challenges, and yes, the sometimes rude or ‘stupid’ patients. Most love what they do and are proud to be a sensitive, skilled professional who can help to heal people’s wounds, despite the times of burn-out and laughing at themselves is part of the cure.
Re says
I feel your pain, and most of those who posted ugly comments, are probably the ones who drive nurses out of nursing. Anyone who is a nurse, is friends with a nurse, has nurses in the family, will get it. We deal with misery constantly, and jokes about pillow therapy and your post- are ways we deal with it. To have a family member of a stable patient come to the door of a room during a code, to ask for a mouth swab….that’s who that list covers. And being sick, does not give someone the right to be hateful or a general ass. And I’ve used the “I am not killing you line” quite often, especially in light of what we do to some patients who accept far more painful things far more gracefully. That being said, I will do my best for my patients one way or the other. And I will gratefully accept the pizza and the thankful hug from the family of the patient that kept me late, that little kindness goes a long way. And gets me through the next rough day…..
laura forbes says
I really appreciate your list. Believe me, I’ve been there. I was a med nurse in a Nursing home before I changed to MDS coordinator. There were times I wanted to cuss the residents and/ or families out but had to bite it back. Folks don’t understand that we care for their loved ones and then sometimes go home to a similar situation. I cared for my dad for 15 years until his death and he was a pt in my home a # of times. This will really change your perspective on things. I say “NURSES ROCK”. Dont let the turkeys bug you.
Barbi says
First off, I’d like to say “Thank you!” for 30 Things 🙂 … I was a nurse for just short of 26yrs so I related to every single one of those statements. I started out a staff nurse on a Medical floor and worked my way thru the ICU Units, ER, Medical Manager of 2 Drug Rehabs (LOVED that statement btw!! 🙂 ) and lastly Open Heart Recovery Unit and that’s where that one statement that said ” You will be the cause of my disibility” .. Yeah .. well, that happen to come true in my case, unfortunately.
I think what people don’t realize that is that it is not just patients that forget the “Please’s” and “Thank you’s”, but also the Docs that we work with, especially the ones we work with on a daily basis. I think they (patients and Docs alike) think that since we chose the nursing profession, we to just “suck it up” because it’s part of the job, and maybe that’s true to an extent from patients, but not from our co-workers! We deserve the same respect from the Docs, Lab ppl, Resp. ppl as we give them.
Not saying that “all” patients or Docs are the same, there have been many patients and family members over my years of working that have been very appreciative of the care that I had given them, their mom, dad or child and there have been some Docs that have said to patients that they were in “good hands with this one, cause she had the touch” and those are the memories I treasure.
I loved my job when I was a nurse, even though it was exhausting, when patients and Docs were just as irritating as one-other. I can’t tell you how many missed lunch breaks I had or how many times I’ve lived on nothing, but coffee and a snickers bar for a 12hr shift becuase we were so busy there wasn’t even time to pee, and lets not get into missed holidays w/ my babies. But it’s what we do, it’s the professional life we chose and I for one loved every minute of the 26yrs that I worked it and I wouldn’t change a thing 🙂 🙂 🙂
Moira Eason says
I wanted to thank you for your your 30 Things. I’m an old ER nurse whose internal filter sometimes is a little broken (along with my back, knees, etc). Please don’t let those hateful non nurses discourage you from continuing to write and speak for a lot of us. I stumbled onto that post on a day I was considering giving up ED nursing because it can just be too much. It changed my perspective to read your blog and know we ALL feel like this sometimes no matter what area of nursing we work in. Having an intact sense of humor is key for a good nurse. For the shameful, judgemental haters who have shaken you- I say bless their hearts. Your fellow nurses need you to keep putting our thoughts and feelings out there in our voice so we know on those horrific days that we are not alone. Thank you from the bottom of my heart!
brieann.rn@gmail.com says
Thank you so much for the wonderful comment! Your encouragement makes me smile. And on a day when I need it too!
Stephanie says
As a nurse, I loved your post. We have all thought these things. As a sarcastic person going into the nursing profession which breeds more sarcasm, this was hilarious.
It’s unfortunate that the hurtful comments got to you. As a nurse caring for patients you almost say these things- but then don’t. Well… in that post you said them. You said all of them and posted it for the world to see. While the intended audience for the post was for nurses who would get the humor, it was also viewed by patients and family members. Those people that nurses didn’t say those statements to because it’s not a good thing to say. Saying these things hurt feelings and get in the way of healing. It’s not helpful, so we say them in our head and continue to smile.
The people who were upset by that post know what it’s like to be in a bed with a crap nurse who does not have a kind manner when insisting they leave on the suffocating oxygen mask. The person whose mother wasn’t turned every two hours and got a bed sore. Anyone who has had a bad experience at a hospital. There are bad nurses out there, we all know it. Every profession has those that just don’t measure up. And then, we all have bad days and bad situations where we simply cannot give the kind of care we wish we could give. By posting this list, you struck a nerve that summoned up past feelings of those bad experiences for patients and family members and the comments field is a safe place for them to retaliate.
And of course, some people are just jerks.
I made a post similar to this once, about how much I love crazy patients. My use of the word “crazy” was meant as sweet and endearing. But even though I posted it in a forum for nurses I still experienced some backlash and misunderstanding on my intention. It did surprise me as I was a nurse speaking to nurses about how I loved the crazies while most of my coworkers went running.
I’m not saying you should not have posted this on your blog. Nurses love it and we need to decompress in a healthy way by laughing. A lot of non-nurses get it too, and benefit from it I’m sure. But….. we don’t say these things to patients for a reason. That reason being the response we would receive if we said them. The response is not pleasant regardless of how many disclaimers, explanations, intentions, and kind thoughts we attach to it. Some of it just hurts.
Nursing is one of the only professions where we have the unique opportunity to touch people from all walks of life. The rich, the poor, the culturally diverse, and across all stages of life. Depending on the patient we are caring for, we tailor what we say, how we act, and even how we treat based on the patient’s needs. This post was solely for nurses needs. A good laugh to get us through the day. As we blog we share our feelings on our sleeve for the world to see, and it’s a great feeling. We should expect a worldly response.
brieann.rn@gmail.com says
Thanks for the comment.
Monika says
I too have been on both sides as a nurse in an ER and as my mother was ill with cancer. I have been there and I have thought and even said those things!
I don’t take it disrespectfully. I laughed a lot when I read this!
Keep it up and I look forward to other posts from you.
brieann.rn@gmail.com says
Thank you!
JC Maxwell says
A callbell started going off just after a code blue one room over. 20 minutes later I was able to get to the callbell. The callbell pt was in tears because no one had gotten her a sodapop. I couldn’t stop myself I told her ‘the pt in the room next door just died, we were busy trying to make him not dead. I’ll get that coke now that we know you want one.’ Huge eyeroll!
Jessica says
I am not an RN. I don’t work in ICU or in the ER. I have only been an LPN since September of 2012. I work at a long term and rehabilitation facility and I myself work on the rehab floor 3-11. Yes I only work 8 hour shifts but I have worked at a facility where we worked 12 shifts where I worked nights and cared for 40 residents at a time. Over and over again every night. I won’t say that what I do is glamorous. I don’t hang IV’s all day or suction trachs or monitor fluids and make sure that my residents IV pump isn’t beeping because there is air in the line (although occasionally I do have to). I’m not seasoned and don’t claim to know it all. I have worked on the hall as a CNA and am so thankful to have my girls by my side every night. They often times know more about what’s going on than I do. I read your post and found it to be quite wonderful.
I started nursing school with the intention of getting out and being one of the best RN’s there ever would be. Then life happened. I got pregnant with my son the very first semester of school and come second semester I failed. So I stayed out that fall, had my beautiful son, then picked back up again in the spring. Everything was going great until the end of the last semester when grades started falling again and I failed both of my last classes of RN school by only a couple of points. I was DEVASTATED! I had 2 options: start the program all over again, or drop down to the LPN program. So that’s what I did. 3 classes in the shortest semester there was and I did better than I did in any of the classes I took while I was in the RN program previously. I did it though. I graduated college while working full time, raising a child, buying a house in the process, and still finding time for my husband. All at the age of 22. I had decided though that I wasn’t going to be one of those LPN’s that worked at a “nursing home” with “old people”. No way! Well I did. I worked as a CNA until I got my temps and my actual license and have been working at one ever since. I have only made a job change once but I am happy to say I am happy where I work and am proud to call it my second home.
Now I know I may have went on about myself a little too much and I apologize. But I feel like if you don’t know a little about me then how can you know and feel what I’m about to say now? Right? Maybe maybe not. Like I said I am not a seasoned RN who has worked in the ICU for years and years. I know one thing and one thing only and that is long term care and rehabilitation. When I failed my RN classes I was crushed but I too am optimistic and was over it by the next day. I feel like if God closed one door it’s to open another and He did for me. I have felt like saying several things to my residents at times out of frustration but didn’t. One thing the other day actually was “you probably wouldn’t have indigestion so bad if you didn’t eat all your food plus everyone else’s”! It’s just a nurses thing and totally understandable. We have to laugh at ourselves and each other to keep from crying or blowing up at our patients when we are angry or frustrated. Nurses have a sick sense of humor. I precepted in the ER and have felt like saying some pretty ugly things even as a student! And in the same day turned around and sat with a little girl in the grass who was crying who’s father I just performed CPR on and had to clean up because the Dr called the code. As some have commented and said “yes you work 12 hour shifts but only 3-4 times a week.” Some nurses still work 8 hour shifts and work 5-6 days a week. Then if a resident decides they are going to get up and go to the bathroom by themselves at 1030pm and falls well there goes your chance of leaving on time. You have to obtain vital signs, body audit, witness statements, copy the MAR, fill out the 24 hour follow up report, the abuse/neglect paper, call the sponsor, do a nurses note, all before you can even begin to do the actual fall report! And about the call light thing. Sometimes life happens. For those of you not medically inclined look HIPPA up before you start in on your nurse or CNA about taking too long to answer your light. Yes it may be an emergency. Yes it may take too long. Yes we are probably in another room handling something else equally important. Or no it might not be as important. We are not mind readers nor can we see through walls. All call lights sound the same out on the unit. A call for ice cream at 2am sounds the same as chest pain at 7pm. Yes we chose this profession because God chose us specifically to go out and help others. We are all human. We may say things under our breath but as previously stated by the blogger we immediately feel bad about it and would never say it to your face because we care about you and for some reason believe it or not we love you. How could someone sacrifice so much to help those that need it the most if they didn’t have so much love to give? This world is filled with so much negativity that nurses are constantly lashed out at for sharing a simple humorous, harmless post meant for other nurses to find funny. I treat each and every one of my residents with love, compassion, respect, dignity, privacy, care, and kindness each and every time I step on that floor. Not because that’s what I get paid to do. When I am with a resident I am with them only at that time and devote my time to their needs. Whether our census is full at 30 or low at 25. I was taught in nursing school to treat your patients holistically and I practice that each and every day.
So Brie, I have carried on long enough now. I just hope that you will be able to stay optimistic and be able to put all the ugliness behind you as fast as it comes. You sound like a wonderful person who deserves to have a heart that is care free and not weighed down with negativity. If I ever need an ICU nurse I hope she is as wonderful as you and has your wonderful sense of humor! Stay positive and God bless you! Maybe once I complete this last year of RN mobility school I will make an impact such as you have. You are truly an inspiration.
Nurse Jessica, Proud LPN
brieann.rn@gmail.com says
Thank you so much for the wonderful comment Jessica! And thank you for sharing your story. You sound like a terrific nurse and I would love to work with you any day! Thanks for the understanding and encouragement. I’ll take it any time. I know God has you and I exactly where He wants us at this time, and I’m glad our paths crossed via this blog.