I knew pretty quickly that we would be good friends. When I playfully bit his shoulder on our first date (no, I have no idea what made me think that was appropriate first date behavior) and found my braces caught in the knit of his shirt, he brushed the incident off right away.
He even called me later that night. Like he said he would.
He tolerated my teen angst and desire to be Gwen Stefani, and I adored his long hair and dreams of becoming Gavin Rossdale. We somehow met in the middle with Jewel. He played while I sang sweetly. We were kinda like Janis and Bobbie McGee.
Till one day I let him slip away.
Life in your twenties passes like it’s supposed to, not at a snail’s pace like childhood, and not in sonic speed like after thirty. No, it goes by just right. It went on ticking along even in his absence.
Funny thing about good friends though. They seem to pick right up where they left off, as if a decade never passed.
Real good friends can see past your smiles, no matter the years unseen. They can look into your downcast eyes like a window into your soul, and locate the hurt you try to squirrel away from the world.
As so he did, my very good friend.
There comes a time when very good friends become truly, amazing friends. This is usually when you decide to let them in the door completely, not just the foyer, but inside, welcoming them in to the messy house that is your life.
When they push the garbage off the couch that is your emotional instability, and decide to have a seat, stay a while, and become deeper involved in the landslide, then you know you’ve found a keeper. A loyal friend, not a fair weather one.
When he stuck it out through the depression, I knew.
When he held me through personal tragedy, I was convinced.
A true, very good friend will sit with you in your grief even as you pull the blanket of isolation over your head. They know when to simply sit still and let you be alone under there in your turtle shell, and they know when to lift the suffocating cover so you can breathe.
Usually an event will occur that shakes the foundation of friendship. A problem with alcoholism, or a problem even with drugs.
If they stay beside you, even as you cry uncontrollably into your ashamed hands over the mess you have made of things, then they are a very good, true friend indeed.
If they put a consoling arm around you, swallowing you into an embrace, and state, “you’re not alone, I’m not leaving,” then they may be a best friend.
When your body changes, your mid-section thickens, certain things sag, deep lines form, and they say, “you’re beautiful,” then this is good.
When pregnancy riddles your body with bullets of change, leaving scars of the blessed experience on your once youthful body, and they hold you even closer than before, then your friendship is strong.
When they stand witness at the birth of your child, the amazing creation that is the essence of you both in flesh remade, and they hold your hand without falter, then you have found something special.
When they witness the indescribable horror show that is this baby exiting the womb into its bright new world, and then stay around for the aftermath of this experience (yes, for many, many months to come), and count it all as joy, then you have found your best friend.
When they sacrifice in step with you with sleepless night, colic, fevers, teething, projectile vomit, and explosive diarrhea, and kiss your haggard cheek in the midst, then you have a best friend as your partner.
When kids fuss, alone time is nonexistent (much less alone time naked), money is even more nonexistent, but bills and doctor visits are in surplus, and still they do it with joy, then your best friend is present.
When you realize they’re your biggest cheerleader, supporter, and fan, even when it looks like an uphill battle, they root for you and your dream, then a best friend is on your team.
When you find yourself not getting mad over the simple nuisances that make them who they are, and you’re surprised to find yourself brushing it off as a charming idiosyncrasy, then you are definitely living with your best friend.
When it hits you that they do this same thing concerning you, and all your many faults, then you most definitely live with your best friend.
When you realize you love them, faults and all, it’s a pretty sure bet.
When you realize you love them regardless of what they do for you, but simply because of who they are, just like Jesus loves you, then you know you’ve found them.
You then can be certain you’re living with your best friend.
This post is dedicated to my best friend, my husband.
Kelli says
This is awesome. God has definitely
given u the talent of writing. And u
have a best friend that few ever find.
I feel blessed to have gotten to know
U both.
brieann.rn@gmail.com says
Thank you so much! He’s a keeper, and we’re like peas and carrots. Thanks for being our friend.
Jessica S. says
Awww! Tell your hubby I said, “Hi.” He doesn’t know me, but I feel like I know him pretty well. 😉 LOL
brieann.rn@gmail.com says
Thank you! I’ll definitely give him the message. Lol. 🙂