Marriage is leaving the little pieces of diced up onion out of the recipe even though you love it. Because your spouse doesn’t.
Marriage is knowing when to ask “Is everything ok?” But it’s also understanding that sometimes it’s best to just be there. No questions, no solutions. Just your loving support.
Marriage is looking past dirty underwear in the floor, and remembering that you leave hair in the drain too.
Marriage is listening to a lengthy story about a video game plot that you have no interest in whatsoever, because it’s the fact that he’s talking that’s important.
Marriage is taking turns at diaper duty, puke duty, sick duty, and any of the other dirty, cranky kid stuff that causes a parent to lose sleep. It’s also noticing this active role, (even if they’re a little grumbly), and saying, “thank you.”
Marriage is not leaving the car on empty when the other spouse has to drive it the next day. This means putting gas in even if it’s freezing outside. It means saying “thank you” when you get into a car with a full tank. It means still filling it up even if it was left empty for you the last time.
Because marriage isn’t about “getting even.” It’s about loving unconditionally “even when _____.”
Marriage isn’t about the size of bank accounts, houses, thighs, or waist bands. It’s about the size of your patience, forgiveness, and trust. It’s not what you demandingly expect, but what you lovingly accept.
Marriage is still being a cheering fan even when your partner doesn’t win, but instead fails. It’s not focusing on where they fall short, but magnifying where they excel. It’s not pinpointing the negatives, but cultivating the positives. It’s about always, always being their biggest supporter, even if you don’t always “get” the cause.
Marriage sometimes means saying “I’m sorry” even when you know you were right. It’s not about placing blame, but accepting responsibility. It’s not about who won the argument, but about who agreed to lose their anger. It’s not about who was right or who was wrong, but rather about admitting that it doesn’t matter. Not in the long run. Not in the grand scheme of a lifetime.
Marriage is about a selfless prayer life for another person. It’s not about praying for God to make them be a better spouse for you. It’s about praying to God that you can be a better spouse for them. It’s not about praying for your dream partner. It’s praying that you can become their dream come true. It’s not about wanting them to be a better person for you. It’s about becoming a better person for them.
Marriage is caring about your appearance even when you just feel like being a slob. It’s about putting an extra effort into looking nice even though you know you don’t have to do it. It’s about placing as much excitement over your everyday appearance for the next fifty years as you put into it for that very first date. Even though you won’t look the same, it’s about effort. It’s about the act of wanting to be appealing for the one you love. It means doing this even when they don’t seem to be trying at all!
Marriage isn’t about changing someone into who you want them to be. It’s about changing yourself to be the best you can be.
Marriage is a lifetime practice in holding your tongue and actually thinking before you speak. It’s an exercise in remembering that no matter how snappy and clever the imagined comeback, it isn’t worth the emotional backlash. It’s a test in understanding that words are easily muttered, and can eventually be forgiven, but will never be forgotten. Marriage shows you words can build someone up just as well as tear them down. Choosing them wisely is paramount.
Marriage is the only acceptable three-way relationship. You learn that without Christ as the head it will not persevere all the times you fail to meet the expectations of the above stated items. And you will.
Marriage is loving your spouse even when they fail you. Because, they will in one way or another.
Marriage is knowing you will fall short too, but trying your hardest to prevent such, and pressing on with renewed commitment when you do.
Marriage is the journey of two people giving their best for the other. When one gets worn out, the other is there to take up the slack.
Marriage is a partnership of growing together to serve God through your union.
It’s the earthly, partnership preparation for eternity. It’s a challenge. Good things always are.
The best thing you can do is enjoy the ride.
That is all 🙂