- I held her close, stroking her little head, and she leaned closer into my chest as her tears tapered off. It was all she needed, to be held for a moment, and she was ready to get back down and play some more. Minutes earlier she had taken a small tumble trying to play as if she wasn’t a baby, but a big girl like her sister. As the weather gets colder it signifies more indoor activities, imaginative play to attempt and keep a case of cabin fever at bay. My three year old loves to build forts out of the sofa cushions. She always has. She also loves to jump around like she just funneled a pack of pixie sticks. Today she chose to throw all the couch and love seat cushions and pillows on the floor, then climb and jump on them. I then chose to allow it. I figured better that than finger painting the walls. (We had already used our paints that morning and I had seen her evil wheels turning). At one point, even as I sat watching them play, the 11 month old toppled over and bumped her head on the carpet. I think it scared her more than anything, but it also hurt I’m sure. As she started to cry her big sister said, “Shhh. Don’t cry. You’re okay.” My husband and I often try not to react to falls to prevent making it worse, but if it hurts, then it hurts. I explained this to my daughter, “Baby, if she hurt herself then it’s okay to cry.”
- We live in a tough world, a hard world, and we’ve all learned from a young age that we must be strong to keep standing in this cruel place. Little boys are taught:
“Don’t cry son!”
“Rub a little dirt on it!”
“You’ll be okay!”
“Don’t be a sissy!”
It’s always been that way I suppose. I’ve only see my own father cry twice, when his mother died, and when my own mother, his wife died. Little girls don’t get a reprieve either simply because they’re female. They too are taught to be strong. They are taught femininity, but with a dose of steel added to it, especially here in the South. They’re taught to hunt, to shoot a gun, to fight, and to stand up for themselves. They’re taught as they get older that no boy is worth crying over either! Now don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying this is all bad. I’m just saying maybe we are going a little far sometimes, not even meaning to do it. We grow up and it continues.
We females tell our co-workers, “Put on your big girl panties and get over it!
The internet is loaded with tons of positive quotes, quotes that tote the positive attributes of being strong, and not letting anything get to you. You’ll see this:
Cause I mean, come on, the best thing to do is hold your true emotions inside and fake it, right? My daughter saw a stuffed animal on TV she wanted. It showed a kid putting all her toys inside the animal’s mouth. She stated, “I can clean my room with that Mom!” I explained to her, “That’s not cleaning your room. That’s stuffing things out of sight.” Is that what we do sometimes when we’re trying to be strong? We just stuff our problem out of sight?
What about this one:
Do I even need to reply? We’ve all been guilty of trying to be strong the wrong way.
This one really got me:
Flying solo huh?
3. You see it a lot. Media, society, a trusted friend even, telling you to be strong, to draw from your inner strength.
“You got this girl!”
“The strength is inside you to get past this!”
“Just do it.”
I don’t think we do. Not really. Any strength we have, real strength anyway, is derived from our Creator. I think the problem occurs when we forget that and we think WE have to be strong, that it’s up to us to get through something, forgetting where our strength is derived. Too often we spend so much time pressing on, staying strong, moving forward, that eventually the weight of whatever it is becomes too much. It becomes so heavy that we can’t keep going with a fake smile on our face and tears in our eyes. We break. It’s inevitable. And that’s okay. That’s what we must remember to teach our kids and repeat to ourselves, that it’s okay to be weak. It’s okay to cry. It’s okay if you can’t do it on your own, if you reach inside yourself and discover the magic answer isn’t really there. It’s okay because in our weakness, that’s where he finds us. In our brokenness, that’s where we ask for His help finally, and acknowledge that we can’t do it without Him, that we can’t do it on our own. It’s where we cry, real tears, because it hurts. It hurts, and He can help. He can hold us and be strong when we cannot.
2 Corinthians 12:9-10
But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
When we fly solo, our wings don’t get stronger, they just get weary. We have to remember it’s okay to be strong if you know where the strength is coming from. It’s also okay to be weak, to admit your weakness, so He may give you the strength you need. No one is strong all the time. So I made one for you too:
Ruthie Young says
I agree! When we are weak, He is strong!!! love you
brieann.rn@gmail.com says
Love you too Maw! Miss you!
Ruthie Young says
Yes!