- Earlier this week I almost lost control of my temper/emotions/sanity. Oh who am I kidding? I seem to be on the edge of that cliff pretty often. Is it the distraction of the children, hormones, aging, or all of the above? I don’t know the answer, but I often feel like my mind is slipping (cognitively), and my emotions are the landslide that follows. On Monday I found myself upset over something of minimal importance. It was kind of a big deal, but in the grand scheme of things, it was nothing worth loosing my cool over or shedding a tear about (both of which I did). As I cried at the computer desk, weakly prayed for strength, and half wondered if my spouse could hear me (Would he come console me in my pity party?), I realized how I was overreacting (a too common response from me). I dried my eyes, pulled on my big girl panties of resolve, and walked into the living room all smiles. I sat myself on my husband’s lap and proclaimed, “You know… I don’t think it’s a big deal. Everything will be fine.” He looked at me and smiled, his eyes crinkling at the corners in amusement and said, “I know.” He patted my knee, kissed me on the cheek, and then asked, “What would you like to do today?” His smile, the change of subject, the reassuring hand on my back, this was his way of letting me know it was okay, that I was okay, he was okay, we were okay. This is us. It’s how we fit.
- My husband and I have a fairy tale love story. To surmise, we fell in love as teenagers, endured a broken relationship based on youthful indecision, were apart for a decade, and rekindled our romance in our thirties. It was kind of like a Nicholas Sparks novel, to the outside that is. When I returned home and started to see my long, lost love again, I was far from anything a well respected author would pen to paper. I was a bit of a mess, going through a divorce, and as confused about life as the day is long. I know there were things about me that were different than he remembered from the girl he used to know. But somehow through it all, he saw my heart. He saw the good in me. He decided to trust what his heart told him was true and hold my hand through my messy life. He put a ring on my finger four years ago and made a promise, to me, and to God, and he never looked back.
- I did the same. It’s true. We both had changed. We both were allowing less than God’s best for our life, but we knew. We knew the other’s heart. We knew it was a good heart, capable of love for others, and capable of a dedicated life to The Lord. He never tried to change me, and I never tried to change him. We just prayed for each other, gave it to God, and let Him do the changing. He does such a better job than any of my nagging could ever hope to do. I’ve found in my husband a man who exemplifies the character of Christ. He loves me for me, despite my flaws. He has seen me at my ugliest, and he loves me still. He is quick to forgive, and slow to anger. His love is unconditional, and it’s not based on what I do for him, but simply who I am to him. Marriage also allows me the opportunity to reciprocate this Christ-like personality, doing my best to exude this same love and care to my husband. I see my spouse as a gift from God, where He uses a man to show me His love played out here on earth. He has also blessed me with this man to stand as the head of our family, leading the children and me towards God’s will for our life. I am truly blessed for my love story, despite its untraditional narrative. It is my story, written by my Lord, just for me. And it’s perfect.
That is all 🙂
Happy Anniversary sweetheart. I love you more than any blog could ever say.