- I hurriedly pushed my cart full of purchased and bagged groceries towards the back of the store, stopping only briefly to grab a bottle of water from the cooler. “Mommy, I’m thirsty!” uttered in the most nasally whine known to man, but as my own throat was parched from the marathon spree, I conceded, with full intention of paying for the bottle along with the oil change and tire rotation. I had completed the shopping with still a whopping 10 minutes left to spare before the tire and lube department closed for the night. I had a brief moment of fear where I thought, what if they decided to close early?!, but I was able to dispel it quickly enough. More wishful thinking than anything I’m sure. As if reading my mind, the three year old pondered aloud, “we may have to sleep here tonight.” Her pronunciation came out “sweep,” which I always find enduring. As I repeated it to her, though, she corrected in a loud, impatient voice, “No mom! Sleep not sweep!” We cut around the corner, barely missing a display of stacked tires with our deluxe, seating-for-three, shopping cart. A pink, stuffed unicorn, (far too large to have been brought into the store, but I didn’t feel up to that battle), fell off the cart into the floor as we neared the back register, causing an unexpected pitstop and the baby’s head to bob up and down as she attempted to compensate for the jerky halt. She gave me a raised eyebrow and sideways glance of disdain as she blew a raspberry (whether that blowing of spit was directed at me or simply to keep herself awake, I may never know). The three year old called out with a shriek and outstretched arm for her mythical, equestrian friend, while spilling half the bottle of water into my open purse below her. A stranger walked by and handed me a baby shoe left back by the fall flower display, smiling all the while and complementing the spit-bubble blowing baby on how cute she was. I smiled proudly, but also winced a little on the inside as I waited on the expected whine from the eldest sister issued after the stranger left, “Why didn’t she say I was cute?” I rubbed her blond head and offered my own opinions of her beauty as we came to the register. I glimpsed another man waiting and felt a little better for my near tardiness.
- After I gave my name, he retrieved my keys and bill. As he rang me up, he commented, “prior to service, you were a quart low.” That’s strange I thought. I was only getting the van serviced when I was in anticipation of a road trip coming up. The oil had been changed 2000 miles earlier, so I found it a bit odd that it was already running low. “I’ll have to keep an eye on that.” I said aloud to the young cashier. As I looked over at my girls, each with red-rimmed eyes that I was especially sensitive to noticing, I realized that sounded about right. As I pushed the cart towards the exit door and acknowledged my own weariness, I knew it was right. We were all a quart low.
- We had spent much of the day out and about, running errands, shopping, making some last minute purchases for an up and coming, much needed vacation. Getting out with small children is so much different. I’ve been a mother for three years now, but I still can’t get used to how taxing it can be. I make the choice to not get a sitter for when I need to shop. I simply take them with me, but simply doesn’t really belong in that sentence. Nothing is simple when small children are in tow. There’s no running into that store real quick. Each stop and go necessitates placing them in and out of their life-saving seats. The poor baby thinks each placement into her car seat is similar to being put on a death row sentence, and if she could talk, each time I unbuckle her she would proudly proclaim, “Free at last, free at last. Thank God Almighty, I’m free at last!” Today I made the brilliant planning prior to departure to feed the girls and nap the baby. I felt this would help tremendously. With the way things went, I can’t imagine the hell I would have endured if I had not. Since I had fed them prior to leaving, naturally the three year old was starving one hour into our voyage. A stop for fried chicken parts was necessary. I had to perform minor surgery after a paper cut from the Happy Meal box left her feeling as if she had experienced a partial amputation. I didn’t think she would stop crying. If she was older, I would blame hormones for she had approximately 99 breakdown, cry with snot pouring out, screaming in anguish moments throughout our trip. An especially emotional moment for her was when mommy adamantly refused to allow her to scale a display in a department store. I know, Mommy Dearest, right? (no wire hangers in this house). The baby wouldn’t eat (too much going on), wouldn’t nap again (too much going on), and saved her meltdown for the drive home. Tonight wasn’t a force baby to adhere to bedtime. It was a “must put baby to sleep before we both go crazy” kind of night. Pajama time wasn’t magical tonight. It was excruciating. My solace came, though, as our day out ended. When I pulled into the driveway, I saw it, the most beautiful sight ever. It was my husband’s car! He was home two hours early. I do not want to imagine unloading groceries and other bags, cooking dinner, and the bedtime routine tonight without his assist. When I mentioned the comment about the oil to him he seemed unimpressed and replied, “A quart is nothing. There’s a lot more than that in there.” And I suppose he’s right. Even when I feel a quart low, like I did in the midst of my kiddie chaos, I’m reminded there’s way more in there. We always have more in our reserve than we think. Sometimes it takes a helping hand from others, but we keep going until bedtime. Maybe tomorrow we’ll stay in, or maybe I’ll be ready for another road trip. There’s more in my tank than I give myself credit for. Just remember, if you’re feeling a quart low, that there’s plenty more in there.
That is all 🙂
Debbie says
I can totally relate to your story. My kids are grown now but I had a few days like that when they were little. Also some days like that with the grandkids.
brieann.rn@gmail.com says
Thank you. It’s always good to know you’re not alone in your feelings.