I see and hear so many ladies out there looking for a man who can be the strong, dependable partner they desire, and while there’s nothing wrong with being an independent, self-sustaining woman, I see that many females want the same thing. They want a partner in life who can help them succeed as a unit. They desire to have a spouse who is strong and can hold them up in times of weakness, a man who can lead his family through struggles and provide adequately for them.
Perhaps you’re currently searching for this knight in shining armor, or maybe you’re already married but sometimes wish your spouse was more assertive and dependable when troubles flare up in life. Regardless of your current situation there’s something you should know. There is no perfect man.
If you’re looking for Mr. Perfect you’re not going to find him, but you can locate Mr. (just) Right for you. And you can do a few things to help cultivate your relationship and empower your man to be that tower of strength in your marriage. Here’s a handful.
1. Encourage him.
Every one of us thrives on praise. You might think that women need this the most, and while compliments are very important to a lady, you’ll find males flourish under encouragement as well.
Husbands enjoy a wife who is their best cheerleader. They love knowing you’re in their corner ready to defend and support them. Just as women like their efforts noticed, so too do men. And they multiply their efforts when they see you’re paying attention.
Offering acknowledgement, positive reinforcement, and encouragement for the hard work, dedication, and efforts of your husband will spur him forward to fight harder for your relationship, family, and life. It’s not a game, but just honestly voicing appreciation for your husband. It’s a verbal acknowledgement of his actions.
Sometimes the first step in being able to do this is taking your focus off what you’re doing. As a woman it’s easy to see all the many things we do around the home and for the relationship, but only seeing your own efforts makes you blind to the work your husband is putting forth.
Take your focus off yourself and strive to see his efforts. As you do this, then acknowledge his work, you might find the added benefit that your husband is inspired and empowered to serve your family as the strong leader God intended.
2. Pray for him.
Nothing has more power over a relationship than faithful intercession. You cannot change your mate, no matter how hard you try (or nag), but God is always capable of changing hearts and providing the wisdom and motivation required for positive growth.
Pray without ceasing, but test your own heart also. Question yourself to ensure that your prayerful petitions for your spouse are not selfish ones. God might have a problem honoring requests that are selfish in nature. Ask is my prayer for my spouse for his best interest or just my own?
As you faithfully and selflessly pray for your spouse God can provide him the strength, motivation, perseverance, and wisdom required to lead your family and cultivate your marriage relationship.
3. Surrender control of your family.
I purposely placed this one last because I think it’s the hardest for us. This morning I read this verse, and it’s so true.
Genesis 3:16 (NLT)
Then he said to the woman, “… and you will desire to control your husband, but he will rule over you.”
Yikes! It’s not as bad as it sounds. God’s design for marriage is actually brilliant. It does place man as the leader of the family, but it also instructs him in his duties to his wife. Man doesn’t rule over his spouse with an iron fist, but rather a protective, supportive hand of comfort. He loves her as Christ loves us all, and as a couple grows into a Godly relationship as the Lord intended it becomes a beautiful thing that no one can bring down.
But it all starts with us, ladies. To allow your man to lead the family you have to loosen the purse strings and let go of full control of the reigns. No man can be the strong husband you desire if you’re constantly taking the lead.
As a supportive wife it’s important to empower your husband by allowing him to make decisions, and then more importantly not grumbling about them or instructing him in the way it really should be done!
It’s about supporting his decisions and cultivating his ability to lead. No man can reach the full potential God has for him as a family leader if his wife is constantly cutting him off and taking over.
So you think you’re always right? How can your husband learn to lead you if you can’t see past your own throne? If you’re constantly tooting your own horn he’ll accept defeat and take a back seat, and you will have no room to gripe about it then.
Marriage is a wonderful thing. It’s a 50/50, give and take partnership based on mutual respect. Each partner has strengths and weaknesses, and also areas where they fit best in the design God puts forth in scripture.
As women we have a wonderful responsibility and undertaking to assist our husbands in achieving the role the Lord has for them. So let’s get to it!