- I’ve really been enjoying my infant daughter Bailey this week. I’ve always enjoyed her, but it’s really starting to get fun. She’s almost 4 months old and is falling into her own character. She is always smiling, always laughing. I can have her in my lap and be talking to Ben, and when I look down, she is staring at me with a furrowed brow and questioning look, no doubt trying to figure out what we’re talking about. Then when I look at her, she does that little half smirk, then breaks into a huge mouthy grin. Last night she really had me laughing. I was breastfeeding her. She would take a few pulls of milk, then turn away and suck her thumb for about 30 seconds. Then she would turn back and nurse. She repeated this cycle over and over, and when I tried to make her stop, she whined. Yesterday she discovered that a coughing sound was very amusing. She fake coughed for about 10 minutes. She would cough, then break into laughter, quite amused with herself. She still screams for my attention instead of crying. I still think it’s adorable. I’m such a pile of putty when it comes to these girls.
- Chloe still has full control of my heart-strings. She woke this morning with her new mantra “It’s a sunny day!” If you live in Corinth, you know it indeed was not. I love her optimism though and it’s contagious. I asked her to keep it down and not wake the baby. Strange thing happened. She complied. She whispered and even asked my permission if she could lay next to Bailey to watch cartoons. This new “loving her little sister” thing seems to be permanent (for now anyway). Bailey grins at everything Chloe does. She sleeps through Chloe’s loud voice, and if Chloe happens to step or crawl on her, she takes in all in stride, never letting out even a whimper. Chloe has really taken to a show on Disney Jr called Doc Mcstuffins. She loves it and Ben and I think it’s really cute too. I like to watch it, but much prefer watching her watch it. Her face lights up as she follows along with the magical tale. Then suddenly, she will laugh out loud. This morning, after such a laugh, she joyfully proclaimed “This is a good show!” She has voluntarily taken a nap all week which makes me hopeful that the nap strike is over. I also think she is having a growth spurt. Since 18 months of age, her weight hasn’t changed, just her height. This makes all her pants big around the waist, but floating above her ankles. We’ll see what this growth spurt brings. Yesterday she ate 3 hotdogs for lunch (don’t judge)! She was asking for a snack within two hours. Today I have fixed a meal or snack hourly. Right now she is asleep on my lap, with her hand down my shirt. Ben would no doubt chastise us both. She’s still my baby, and I’m a sucker.
- Earlier Chloe started crying intensely while in the bathroom. I hurried into the bathroom to see what was the matter. She had used the potty. She was bawling because she couldn’t get her pants back on again. Once again, a melodramatic, over reactive moment brought to you by the toddler. I thought, how often do I do that? Y’all know I’m real big on being a child of God. So, how often does He see me as throwing a toddler tantrum? When I say, “According to your will Father,” but then become angered when things don’t work out the way I think they should the absolute minute I think it should occur. Do I seem as silly as my own daughter with her pants around her ankles? After freeing Chloe from her pants prison, I walked back into the living room and peered down upon my other daughter. When she saw my face, she lit up and began to squirm about with excitement over the thought of me picking her up. That’s what I want! That’s what I want to be! I want to give my Father pleasure at seeing my love and excitement over what He has in store for me. I am just a baby in the grand scheme of things. I don’t want to throw a fit over the small stuff. I desire to have that innocent trust of an infant, knowing that He is present and will pick me up and cradle me in His arms.
That is all 🙂
- Today I’ve been like a work horse. There’s a local sale that goes on twice a year. It allows Moms to sell their kids’ clothing and the opportunity to buy another Moms’ kids’ stuff. So basically, my child outgrows a size and I sell it and buy bigger, used items. It’s called kid’s exchange. I think it’s brilliant and I am also addicted to it. Drop off for your items starts this Friday, so I’ve been gathering and preparing my garments all day. I now have three kids to sell and buy for, so it’s a big job. They limit you to consign only 100 items. This is the first year I’ve come even close to that total. It’s exciting to me. I may even make some money this year. In years past, after fees, etc, the most I’ve ever made is $40. Making money isn’t the fun part for me though. The entire reason I do it is to be privy to the consigner pre-sale. When I walk in and see all those aisles of cute, discounted kids clothes, it’s like I’m at Disneyland! I don’t get this excited about shopping for myself. I rarely buy clothes for myself anymore, and if I do, it’s from Walmart or an outlet store. I love dressing up my little girls though! I loved Barbies as a girl, and now as an adult, I’m still loving to dress up my dolls.
- I had 2 large containers in the shed of summer clothes that Chloe and Marlie had outgrown. I put them in their in the fall, knowing that I would pull them back out in the spring for kids exchange. Basically, I needed to sort through the boxes and decide what to keep for the two youngest to grow into, what might still fit Chloe this summer, and what to sell. I hinted around and finally asked my husband if he could dig them out of the shed for me. After all, since being placed in there, Christmas boxes had pushed them to the back recesses of the shed. He’s been working a lot, so this morning I told him if he didn’t have time that it was ok, I could do it. He said he’d take a look and if it looked like an easy task, then he would leave it for me. He indeed looked and assured me I shouldn’t have a problem. When I went out there later, I found my boxes behind a couple of pieces of furniture and Christmas boxes. I sighed to self. What may seem simple to a man is not as easy for a woman! I found myself a little frustrated at him. After much grumbling, I got my boxes out easy enough. It occurred to me how often there are things around the house that are easy for me as a woman, but complicated for my husband as a man. I could see how easy it would be for me to take for granted how I can do these things so effortlessly, but for him they’re foreign nature. We all have strengths and weaknesses. That’s what makes marriage a team. It can be easy to forget where one’s strengths and weaknesses lie. I ended up not fussing at him about those boxes. Lord knows there’s probably 10 things he wanted to fuss at me about, but thought better of it.
- As much as I grumble about how difficult it is on a day to day basis with a toddler and infant, I really have nothing to complain about. They’re good kids. The baby has put herself to sleep for all of her naps today. I mean I’ve fed her, changed her, and played with her, but when I put her down, she has entertained herself and fallen asleep when she was tired. Sure Chloe has cried over things like spilling water on her shirt and then being unable to take said shirt off on her own, but overall she’s been an angel today too. At one point when the baby cried for attention, as I walked over to her, Chloe ran up and stated “It’s ok Mom. Let me do it!” Then she began to talk to Bailey in baby talk and make her laugh. It’s been hard today tagging Chloe’s and Bailey’s clothes to sell. With each item I thought “They’ll never wear this again.” The newborn stuff was the hardest. My only solace was knowing I could go buy some new stuff, and the fact that there is likely more babies to come in the future!
That is all 🙂
- Our household was shaken awake this morning by a blood curdling scream. After the initial shock, complete with racing heart rate, I discovered the screeching yell not to be one of pain or distress. It was punctuated with giggles and hiccups in between, a cacophony of shrill attention demanding calls. We all reluctantly rose from our sweet slumber thanks to our 4 month old tornado siren in the other room. When I opened the door and peered down at her, she immediately broke into the biggest toothless grin this side of the nursing home. I could never be mad at her shrill screams for attention when I’m rewarded with such a sweet smile. Ben says I’ll grow tired of her new found screaming, and cease to find it adorable. Right now I’m still laughing thankfully. Princess Chloe didn’t take well to being roused from her beauty sleep, and candidly explained as much to me later in the morning. “I don’t like when the baby screams. It wakes me up. Tell her not to do it Momma!” Explaining infant behavior to a two year old is like trying to explain two year old behavior to me. They’re/I’m not going to be able to comprehend the intricacies of it all. By any rate, I found myself in a joyous place where both girls were out for the count by 11 am.
- As a Mother of young children, you seldom have the joy of simultaneous naps. At nighttime sure, but during the day, it’s a rarity to find yourself in such a quiet environment. I wasn’t sure how to proceed. I was akin to a deer frozen in headlights. I was in such shock that I was afraid if I made any sudden movements it might rip the very fabric by which this miracle had been woven. First things first, I poured a 2nd cup of coffee. By golly, I was gonna drink the whole thing while it was still hot, with no disruptions in my sipage. Next, feeling a little risky, I drew a hot bath. I was gonna enjoy a hot bath with my hot coffee. All by myself. I couldn’t help it. My next order of business involved bragging to my husband via text of my good fortune. I even sent a picture lest he not believe. I was rewarded minutes after my gloating with the sound of a crying baby, and 45 seconds later by a sleepy eyed toddler wandering into the bathroom. I hurriedly washed my face, realizing I’d been had. As I splashed the soap from my eyes, I heard the two year old start shrieking. I opened my eyes to find her peeing all over the bathroom floor. It must of snuck up on her for she seemed quite distressed over the whole thing. My hot relaxing bath became a luke warm, urine laden clean up for two. And you know what? My coffee got cold.
- I did manage to have a very exciting day of clean up. Aside from the usual household picking up of toys and dish washing just to prevent A&E from coming to my house and filming, I was lucky enough to accomplish one of the most procrastinated chores of all time. Get ready for it. Today I cleaned out the refrigerator. I didn’t really want to do it. I don’t think one ever does. It’s usually circumstance that forces you into the task. I couldn’t stack things any higher, and juice boxes were starting to avalanche onto guests when they tried to retrieve anything from the inside of the cavern that was my fridge. The door has taken to not staying shut because it’s so packed with salad dressing bottles, 1/2 empty ketchup containers, and multiple pickle jars, all with approximately one pickle in each. I also realized I was completely out of Tupperware containers. When I peered into the abyss of said refrigerator, I could glimpse in the distance, forgotten leftovers stored in plastic bins. It was an adventure even Indiana Jones would not have balked at completing. I found forgotten and now forbidden fruit. I discovered outdated lunch meat and multiple containers of sour cream. There were actually 3 containers of different aged rotel dip. Who could eat that much cheese and live to tell of it? When was the last time I drank that orange juice?! Oh, look, jello! I think. I began tossing in the trash and pouring down the sink. Cleaning out the fridge is when you discover just how important or unimportant your Tupperware collection is to you. Is it worth keeping and risking opening the lid and unleashing the toxic odor it contains? Even the strongest stomach is put to the test. Being frugal, I tried to save every container. I found myself with a stopped up sink. I dug chicken noodles from the drain, dipping my hand into a collection of pickle juice, orange juice, lemonade, cheese dip, and baked beans. I stand before you now, proud, having completed the task before me. I now have plenty of shelf space available, just eager and waiting for leftovers from tonight’s supper.
That is all 🙂
- Chloe has always said the most interesting things in that space of time between sleep and full wakefulness. This morning, through a hazy blur, I was awakened to her happily chirping “It’s a sunny day!” I looked at the window, and it was indeed a sunny day. The most interesting part of this whole story is she’s taken to saying this every morning, even when it’s overcast. It got me to thinking about childlike simplicity. Chloe wakes each morning with a fresh new outlook, never allowing yesterday or the weather forecast to hamper her day. She’s gonna have fun no matter what. If we could all take on a little bit of the character of a child, and wake each morning saying “it’s a sunny day”, just imagine the shape your day could take.
- Since it was indeed a sunny day, we went for a family bike ride. Little Bailey didn’t go, but the rest of us did. It was a great outing. Chloe rode on her seat that Ben had bolted to his bike frame. She wore her new princess helmet. I couldn’t help but beam with pride over how cute she looked strapped in that seat, complete with helmet, and holding a huge water bottle. Marlie rode her new bike we got her for her Birthday. I always stayed behind her for safety purposes, and she frightened me numerous times. She drives a bicycle similar to a drunk driver, overcompensating turns and dodging obstacles. I thought multiple times she would crash and burn, but in actuality she only crashed once after trying to drive on algae in a culvert. Ben and I did pretty good for old folks. I won’t promise that we won’t feel the hills tomorrow though.
- Bailey opted out of the bike ride for obvious reasons. We were blessed enough to have a sitter for our sunny day adventure. Bailey was in a grand mood as we readied for our ride, but as we peddled away, I could hear her crying loudly. One thing I’ve discovered this time around the baby track is that you’ll never get it completely figured out. First off, each baby is different. And secondly, babies are bi-polar creatures anyway. I say that with complete love and in no offense to the emotionally and/or psychologically challenged. I couldn’t completely figure out my baby if my life depended on it. I mean, I do good with her, and better than anyone else. But really, it’s still just a guessing game. You just get better at guessing as you go along. The sitter asked, “What do you think was bothering her? Do you think she’s hungry?” A lot of times, Moms will state matter of factly some cause of the child’s behavior. We’ll state it confidently enough, but in reality, we have no idea! How can you possibly decipher the code that is baby behavior. Even the most routined baby will fall outside the schedule at times. Even the best behaved and mild tempered infant will throw a crying jag for no apparent reason. Hungry, sleepy, wet, bored, gassy, teething?! Who really knows. And guess what? Just when you think you know, those little sneaky babes will throw you a curve ball and send your entire hypothesis crashing down. Sometimes I think Timmy understood Lassie better than I understand my children. But I have to admit, there is no better guessing game I would rather play, because no prize for the right answer is better than a smiling, happy, or sleeping baby.
That is all 🙂
- This was the first year I’ve decorated Easter eggs in probably 20 or more years. We bought our kit about 3 weeks ago. Being the “plan ahead” person I can be when I’m not under the control of my other procrastinator personality, I had bought the kit ahead of time so we wouldn’t have to settle for picked over dye kits. First off I let the two year old pick out which one to get. Secondly, there were about 612 different kits to choose from. Last time I dyed eggs I only remember the store selling one kind. It was the little color tabs that dissolved in water mixed with some stinky vinegar. As I opened up the one Chloe had picked out, I recalled with mild dread that I had no vinegar. No need to worry there. This kit required no vinegar, had no dissolving tabs. It only contained packets of liquid paint/dye and a paintbrush. The directions showed holding the egg between your fingers and painting it a brilliant marble color. That’s a ridiculous expectation for a two year old. Don’t get me wrong, she loved trying. She ended up mixing the colors together, no matter how much I instructed against it. Orange became brown and pink became a maroon/purple color. All of those colors got everywhere. One thing the box didn’t mention was that the dye that you’re supposed to use with your bare hands, will not wash off, ever! We all went to church with multi-colored hands. The crazy clean freak in me almost lost my sanity. I assumed they would dry overnight, before the egg hunt today. No. Something else the box didn’t mention. The dye dries and stains everything except eggs. It slides right off the egg onto any surface they touch. It was no trouble finding those eggs. Just follow the trail of brown dye. I suppose I’m gonna take this year as a learning experience for me. I’ll know better next year.
- I can’t even describe how much I enjoyed church today. I made a decision before hand that I wouldn’t stress over getting everyone ready, picture perfect, and out the door on time. It will never happen, so there’s no use getting in a bad mood over it. On a side note, we were only 15 minutes late, and that’s pretty good for the Gowens. I can’t explain how my heart feels when I see my little Chloe learning to worship God. Watching her dance before The Lord, waving a small flag, joy emanating from her countenance, lifts my own spirit. All my family was in attendance, and it made my heart happy to have them all around me. We chose today to have Bailey dedicated. It was a time for Ben and I to commit ourselves to raising Bailey in a manner pleasing to our Father, while also handing her over to Him. We hold her sweet little body, but hand the reigns of control to Him. We also choose to live our lives as He would desire, thereby shaping Bailey in the best way possible. While Ben and I already committed to such, we feel it’s important to do it in front of our church family. While I really enjoy listening to the sermons on CD during the week, it doesn’t compare to hearing it in person. Worshiping with music on the radio is wonderful, but it also doesn’t compare to being present for a worship service, and feeling the power of the Holy Spirit descend, to almost feel how pleased God must be to hear such heart-felt praise. I truly didn’t know I much I missed it.
- We enjoyed a family gathering after church. We invited everyone to our house. I had really hoped for nicer weather, knowing it would be a tight squeeze in our house. But like you can always do with close family, we managed to have a great time despite the cramped quarters. The girls hunted eggs inside. Chloe didn’t seem to remember last year, so she had no memory to reference things by. Marlie seemed to grow bored quickly of the hunt, which served to remind me that she’s growing older. Overall, it was a lot of fun, good food, and excellent fellowship. We finished off the day’s festivities with a Birthday party for my sister-in-law. This was a perfect opportunity for my children to act cute for others, eliciting many compliments, which I just revel in. It also was a chance for the girls to have cake and ice cream since that hadn’t ingested enough sugar today (insert sarcasm). I enjoyed the visit, though it was too short. It felt good to get back home though. As the children begin to settle and Mom and Dad unwind, I’m so content and full. It was a mighty fine day, a mighty fine day indeed.
That is all 🙂
- Some good things about working outside of the home are being able to access the deep recesses of my brain for cognitive reasoning via patient care, and also exercising the above with other adult, professional conversations. The funny thing is when we’re not “talking shop” my conversations center around my children. I’m quick to tell my co-workers the latest cutesy stories and laughable moments. I show anyone who will stand still long enough, co-workers, patients, and doctors included, the latest pictures I snapped that week of my girls. I can tell by the expression on some faces that my show and tell gets a little old, but I never let that slow me down. I just show them more pictures wanting them to see the beauty that only I can truly behold. If a patient is confused and bordering on agitation, I will begin to tell stories of my children and show them pictures of tiny, smiling faces. Even the most disoriented older woman will quickly calm down and begin to smile when encountering a picture of a baby. If only all confrontations in life could be solved by gazing at the image of a happy baby, what a more serene world this would be.
- Some days having a toddler and infant can really get to you. Things can seem so overwhelming. I can’t imagine how it will be when/if we add to our brood. Who am I kidding? I want another one! But I’ll wait a little bit. Right now I believe my hands are full enough. Some days it’s hard not to scream out loud. To be honest, some days I have screamed out loud. Chloe didn’t like it a bit, and seeing her frightened tears made me instantly wish I could take it back. The wonderful thing is that the payoff is always worth it. The pros always outweigh the cons. Several tantrums can be cancelled out by a crooked grin laced with the words “I love you Momma.” A day of repetitive picking up and laundry is easily forgotten when you see that cute little figure in footie pajamas toddling across the room. I mean, is there anything cuter than a small child in pj’s? I count myself blessed. I am in a season of my life that is more than I ever could have hoped for. While I may often silently say “Lord help me!”, I think I more often say, “Thank you Lord! Thank you!”
- I am beyond excited to be off work tomorrow. I haven’t requested a Sunday off since I started working the weekend program over a year ago. I know it will be well worth the income lost. Aside from being Easter Sunday, we are also having baby Bailey dedicated. We’ll dye Easter eggs tonight. This will be a first for Chloe, and I’m looking forward to her reaction at the process. I’m also excited for the girls to see their Easter baskets. I bought more than I should and Ben told me as much (gently and good heartedly). It reminded me that my Mom was the same way, going all out for Holidays for us. I still remember one year I got a life size poster of Kirk Cameron in my Easter basket. I never missed Growing Pains and had a major crush on him. And nothing says Resurrection like Kirk Cameron, right?! I joke a bit. I’m teaching Chloe the importance of our Christian holidays, but I also think it’s good to celebrate our traditions as well. I have a lot to do to get things ready for tomorrow, but I can’t wait. I’m like a kid myself!
That is all 🙂
- Today is Good Friday. If you’ve read my blog before, you’ll know that I, unlike most of America, don’t typically categorize Friday as good. Friday is typically a bummer day for me, as it signifies the end of my week at home playing full time Mommy. I try to fight off the blahs every week, but they somehow find me anyway. Today has been different though. Rather than dwelling on my own silly worries and stressors, I started my day off differently. I found myself digging in the scriptures for accounts of today approximately 1,980 years ago. I watched some videos and read different things. I found myself very emotional and crying a lot over the weight of it all. And why wouldn’t I? It’s such a humbling and amazing experience to actually quiet your own mind enough to ponder on the miracle that happened: the terrible death Jesus endured, the fact that He did it for us, the absolute amazement that God gave His only Son for me, and the wondrous resurrection that took place 3 days later; this miraculous action that still impacts us today. When I read back over my words, they don’t even seem worthy to describe what took place.
- We all have problems, struggles, and things that want to drag us down. I’ve shared before how I have dreams in my heart. I have prayers I consistently pray. Sometimes you have sins that want to return and weigh you down. I personally have been struggling with jealousy and coveting thoughts. Sometimes I see things other people have, and I want that for myself and for my family. I get angry and wonder why I can’t have financial freedom, or a big house, or luxurious family vehicle. It pains me to write this. Confession is difficult and makes you see your own dirty self. My temper is often short, even with those I love the most. I’m always on watch for pride. Sometimes I can be pious. When I look at my toddler, I’m reminded how parenting can parallel a relationship with God. I tell her the same thing over and over. I remind her when she’s doing something she knows she shouldn’t too. I forgive her and love her despite it all. I’m so grateful to be a child of the King. Oh, my dirty soul!
- But today is different. Wait, on second thought, every day is different. I can be free. I can be free of worries, and free from sin. It’s amazing what your day can be when you take a Resurrection mindset. He was so spotless, but took on my sin. He opened the door of relationship. The veil was torn. I don’t go to the high priest with a blood sacrifice, for Jesus pored out His blood as a sacrifice for me. Simply amazing. If you haven’t taken the time to let the weight of His actions fall on you, please do. It’s amazing that the weight of His sacrifice can somehow lift all the other sludge you have weighing you down and take it away. It is gone, and in its place is peace. “Peace be with you” He said. I took hold of it today. Have you?
That is all 🙂
- Do you all remember Ben’s puppy, the former chewer of my bras and urinator of rugs everywhere? She is still a part of the Gowen family. When I was as pregnant as a whale, (far too hormonal, exhausted, and off balance, literally, for an energetic puppy) she relocated to her own little house in the backyard. She seems happy out there and gets plenty of play and exercise from Ben. As she gets older, Ben reminded me she hasn’t been neutered yet. This, of course, comes to our minds just as Spring is here and all things are twitterpated. Yes, Millie is in heat. Ben put her in her outdoor pen to ride out the fertility storm. I’ve had the blinds open and have been privy to see many a male caller. Earlier I glimpsed quite the romantic tragedy. A large, black lab entered stage right, sniffing away. She sees him and her tail tells the tale, that she is ready and willing to make his acquaintance. He looks up and sees his true love, if only for an interlude. I couldn’t help it. In my head I heard Lionel Richie’s “Hello. Is it me you’re looking for?” Like a poor Romeo and Juliet, there love affair has been cut short by Juliet’s well meaning parents. It has nothing to do with his breeding, though. A lab by any other name would smell just as sweet to her. (You better get that Shakespearian reference). Actually, he seems to be the one doing the smelling.
- Last night Ben came home with Chloe two Potato Heads, a Mr & Mrs. As I started to play with them with her, I was transported back to my early childhood. I told Chloe, “This used to be Mommy’s favorite toy when she was little.” If the truth be told, it was my only toy, at one point. Some of you know and done don’t, but when I was five years old, my childhood was very unstable. My Mom and I went here and there, after my biological Father, hoping frequent moves would somehow calm his need to flee. It never did. He would still leave eventually, taking all the money with him. We’d be left on our own in an unfamiliar town. Eventually he’d return and the cycle would start again. Between Kindergarten and 2nd grade, I attended five schools. My toys that came with me, stayed in boxes if they came at all. I remember living in a one bedroom motel room at one point. My Mom gave me her tape recorder. This is the one toy I had, and I would go into the bathroom for privacy and record songs I wrote for entertainment. I remember a cherished Mr Potato Head, who eventually got left behind as well. My toys and pets were unconventional. I sometimes played with dry ice and 60cc syringes my Mom would bring home from work at the lab. My pets were lab rats who’s professor had lost his funding for further research.
- I don’t tell you this so you can feel sorry for me. I tell you so you can know who I am, and some of the things that shaped the person you now see. First, I in no way blame my Mom for the Nomad lifestyle we lived in my early childhood. She was trying to save a marriage with a man who wasn’t willing to give, but only take. I respect her for how long she tried to make things work. I think the solidarity molded my imagination and creativity. I think the circumstances allowed my Mom to constantly and consistently show me how very much she loved me. I recall her giving me the last of the food, and her going without. And no, I’m not exaggerating. I never doubted how much she loved me, or to what extent she would give so that I could have. I didn’t need a box full of toys to know that either. I wonder sometimes if I give Chloe so much to try and compensate. It’s so odd to me that I would behave in this way, knowing that stuff has no bearing on love! I guess I could psychoanalyze myself for days, but I won’t go there. I don’t really need to. The one thing I’ve always liked is that I don’t allow negative things in my past to define my future. Don’t ever let that happen! Grow from it, learn from it, but never use it as an excuse to not be everything God has for you. I don’t think God wanted my biological Father to be such a poor example of what a Father is, but I know that He’s been able to use it to mold my character. I know that He sent me another earthly Father to raise me wonderfully, and that God has also been able to bring me to a closer embrace as my Heavenly Father as well. I really got off subject from starting with a Mr Potato Head, but we’ll just blame it on all that time alone in the bathroom.
That is all 🙂
- Some days I want to get down on myself because I can’t seem to get the things accomplished in a day that I want to get done. Other days, like today, I can completely understand why that doesn’t happen. Some days you feel like a broken record, repeating the same things, “Be quiet. Calm down. Don’t spill that. Pick that up. Put that down. Listen to me. I’m gonna spank you. 1-2-3…” Simple tasks, as you used to think of them, now take on a new life and become more complex and time consuming. You go to take your toddler out of the tub to dry her off and discover that despite the system you try to maintain, towels have gotten mixed up. Now your gentile skinned child is covered in man hairs. Bath take #2. It’s at that point you notice the hairs all over the floor and the kid taking a 2nd bath pours a very large cup of water on the bathroom floor. A quick bath has also turned into cleaning the bathroom and towels and a bath mat added to the laundry. Your first impulse is to be mad. Why can’t they adhere to my systems and my rules?! They’re so efficient! Then you realize you’re really trying to unrealistically ask others to be just like you. What kind of world would that be? And how many times do you think they wish you were more relaxed about your systems and rules? I love that I have to remind myself daily to calm down, take a breath, and enjoy the little things. When you can do that, you can have a great big laugh about the spills, body hairs, and sassy come-backs.
- Chloe was just watching one of her favorite shows. At the end, they always sing the same song. Today, she stated “I don’t want it to end yet.” I’ve seen and heard a lot of comments lately concerning the direction our country is heading and the impending doom of our civilization, to include the coming of our Lord. I decided to take on that subject for my Bible study today. Of the scriptures I read, I most enjoyed the words of Jesus in Matthew 24-26. I would encourage you to read it and allow God to speak to you personally as He did me. I don’t know if the end is near. We don’t have a song that cues us that the show is over. I do know that I will choose to live each day as if it’s my last. I will choose to be ready when my bridegroom comes. I will treat others as He would want me to. I will do well with what I’ve been given. I will not give up on my here and now, though, pining for my eternity. I will not lose hope in our world. God still has us here for a reason and is still preparing us for His Son’s return. I still believe there is good here and good people here. There is violence, yes. There is tragedy, yes. There are so many things I can’t understand. But then there is love too, and God showing it to us everyday in so many ways. So I would encourage you to open your eyes to the beauty and love of God and His people all around us. Take hope from that and enjoy the show until its final season does truly arrive. Be ready for that final song, knowing it will come, but enjoy it while it’s on.
- Update on the girls: I’m still on sick watch. Chloe woke up crying, which is never a good sign. I do think her throat was sore. I know mine was. I can’t not get what Chloe has. I’ve already told y’all about her sneaking off my plate and from my cup. It’s bound to happen. She remains very snotty but no fever. She hates to blow her nose, so I insisted this morning on using saline drops and a nasal aspirator on her. Wow. You would of thought it was sulfuric acid and an ice pick. It did the job though and will hopefully help prevent a sinus infection. I’ll probably do it again before bed. Heaven help me! Her mood improved after some chocolate milk. She’s been very clingy today, but it’s hard to decipher sick clinginess from her typical jealousy. Earlier as I got Bailey out of the bassinet to play with, Chloe called out, “I’m over here if you want me to come over there and play with y’all.” Bailey on the other hand, woke with smiles and giggles. I heard a little bit of stuffiness, but nothing that really sounded like a sick baby. Praise Jesus! I’ll continue to watch and intercede on that little one’s behalf. Actually, that goes for the both of them. Please continue to pray along with me. I loathe sick babies. It makes me sad. I got them out for some fresh air and sunshine today (God’s best medicine). So we’ll see how it progresses.
That is all 🙂
- Chloe has had a runny nose since Saturday. Since she had no other symptoms, and especially since she’s been in such a good mood (not sick acting at all); I have not made a trip to the doctor. I’ve just been watching her, giving her vitamins, drinking lots of water, etc. I’ve also been praying for her, of course. I’m a big fan, so to speak, of Divine healing. Laugh if you will, but I guarantee you that if you find yourself in a situation where modern medicine cannot help, then you will end up crying out to a higher power. It’s like we were programmed that way. My God is quite the Healer in my personal opinion. I speak from experience having been healed from Epilepsy that I suffered from the age of 8 until 20 years old. I still remember the stunned look on my Neurologist’s face when he saw my EEG results and proclaimed, “It’s a miracle. It’s completely normal.” I’m not daft enough to expect my God to heal every sniffle. Some things need to happen for immunity sake and other reasons. This could be a very long discussion, so I’ll say simply that I believe in God’s healing, His will, and the fact that He gave man the brains to develop Medicine and Medical Practice. I am a Nurse after all y’all.
- While praying for Chloe, I also prayed for sickness to stay away from little Bailey. Late last night, Bailey and Chloe both seemed to not sleep so well. The first time I got up with Bailey, I quickly noticed the difficulty nursing due to a snuffy nose. I suctioned her easily enough, but I could tell she was getting big sister’s cold. At one point as I rocked her to sleep, a blurry eyed Chloe toddled up and climbed into my lap as well. I felt the déjà vu of soothing two sick kiddos. I was hesitant to put Bailey down alone in her room with her breathing being hampered through her nostrils, so she slept in my arms most of the night. This means I slept little and had a baby on my boobs all night. Early this morning, I truly needed at least an hour or two of real sleep. So I reluctantly put the baby in her room to sleep. When I returned to bed, Chloe had her eyes open and was sitting in my spot, eagerly awaiting my return. I laid down and she wrapped her arms around me. She tried to slip her hand down my shirt, but I told her my bobbies needed some time to themselves! I’m still watching my girls closely, giving a little sinus medicine to help ward off an infection, and praying for their healing. Feel free to join me in persistent and faithful prayer.
- I should probably remember to say a prayer for my safety or ability to pay better attention to what I’m doing. I recall taking my razor down from its high shelf and placing it on the side of the tub. Somewhere between me running the water and getting in, the razor fell into the tub. I found it with my foot, with the full weight of my body upon that foot. It was hanging from the meat of my foot when I lifted it. I sufficiently filleted a large portion of the sole of my foot off. So bloody too. It’s strange how your reaction to things changes when you have kids. The most prevalent thought in my mind after it happened was “Thank God it wasn’t Chloe!” She, on the other hand, was worried about me enough for the both of us. She ran to get her package of My Little Pony band aids. The event did have the advantage of installing more fear in her of my razor than my words alone would have done. So feel free to join me in prayer for my failing thought processes as well.
That is all 🙂