- Our own little madhouse continues at Gowen Central Station. I would love to report that Chloe is better, but she seems about the same to me. I’m certain she’s getting better; I just can’t see results of that at this point. I have never heard a child cough so much. It sounds like we’re in some old movie where the scene is at a tuberculosis ward. I always frowned upon Moms who let their kids run around with snotty noses. I thought, “why can’t they just wipe that kid’s nose?!” I now understand. Chloe has had a runny nose in the past, but this is like a fountain. She doesn’t have a runny nose. It’s a snotty face. It’s a constant oozing of mucous that she streaks across her face. I can’t keep up. Her cheeks are chapped. Even if I could keep up; her nose would be raw from wiping and blowing. The only thing I can see that the steroids have done is clear up a rash she had around her mouth, prior to all this. Well, they’ve done that and the added bonus of changing my child’s personality. She does some weird stuff under the influence of this medicine. Earlier Ben was holding her and she picked her nose and rubbed the booger right on Ben’s face. Then, when I was eating lunch, I suddenly thought a badger was under the table. She latched onto my socked foot and tried to take a bite! No naps are had while on this stuff either. She’s currently running around with sunglasses on, speaking a language other than English.
- Bailey continues to be in good health. Hallelujah. She continues to eat, poop, sleep, and grow! I changed to size 1 diapers about a week ago and thought they were kinda big. Now they are fitting just right. Newborn size sleepers are a thing of the past. I was kinda sad as I did laundry last night and folded several, very cute, newborn size onesies. I can just tell by the size of her head, that she’s growing. She’s gotta house all that brain power she inherited from me. She’s really starting to look around more and take notice of things. Her face is also starting to take on more personality. Earlier as she was pooping, she made a face that looked just like Scarlett Johansson. I tried to catch a picture of it, but didn’t catch it in time. Maybe next time. Scarlett, if you’re reading this; I’m really sorry.
- We got all our Christmas stuff packed away yesterday and the house is almost back to normal. We went for a drive last night and Chloe got excited as we got near to a house that had decorated this year with lots of lights. They were no longer up and we explained that Christmas was over and decorations would be put up until next year. I then commented to Ben that it’s kinda sad to say goodbye to all the decorations. He agreed, but then added how good it is to get the house back to normal. As I sat today looking at the stack of Rubbermaid containers of Christmas decorations waiting to go to the shed; I reflected on this. Putting away the boxes just as the New Year begins is like a symbol of putting away the circumstances of the previous year and moving forward with the dreams you have for the upcoming year. Your boxes can be filled with the memories of all the events of this past year that have brought you to where you are in your life. The freshly cleared and dusted shelves represent a fresh pallet upon which you may place your dreams that you have for this year. God gives us all a dream and a way to accomplish those dreams. Sometimes our current circumstances may not reflect that dream. That’s when you can move forward with faith and confidence that what God placed in your heart, He will fulfill. So don’t be afraid to put away the old and move on with the new. You’re not throwing out those boxes, for they are full of lessons learned. You’re simply making room for new blessings to abide.
That is all 🙂
- It’s been a truly interesting day. It seems like every day lately is. Every day is super eventful. It’s never a dull moment anymore. I hate to feel like this, but I feel like every day is a race against the clock. I have always been one who enjoys stopping and smelling the roses. And I am truly enjoying time with my newborn, but I still feel rushed most of the time. They tell you to let housework go during this time, but you can only let so much go. If I don’t do the laundry, we’ll eventually run out of socks and underwear. If I don’t clean the kitchen, we will eventually be unable to eat. If I don’t take a shower, the police will eventually come knocking on my door due to neighbor’s complaints of a foul odor. If I don’t balance the checkbook and pay the bills, eventually that would be a very bad thing. When I do these essential tasks that keep my home running, I feel like I’m in a race to complete them before the baby wakes up and is ready to be fed. First, my husband is a saint, helping in any way he can, but he can only do so much and often what he’s doing is bringing home the bacon. Secondly, I’m not really complaining per say. I’ve been here and done this before. So I know this time of constant tending to the baby will be over before I realize. At that point, I’m sure I’ll miss the round the clock nursing sessions. I suppose I just needed to write this down so I could remind myself of what I already know. I needed to remind myself that all though I feel like I’m running a race, that there is no better price than that one that awaits me at my personal finish line. The Mommy Marathon is the most rewarding race you can ever run and even if it doesn’t seem like it; you always finish first place.
- Ben is off today so we decided to take the Christmas decorations down. It is really a two person job, especially right now. With one sick toddler and one baby that loves to be held; it requires two. Ben did the heavy lifting, bringing in the boxes from the shed. I did the tedious packing of my delicate glass items (like I’d let anyone else do it!). Whoever was packing away Christmas or toting boxes; the other would be bouncing a baby or loving a sick little girl. Chloe came up to me a minute ago and said “momma please let me have ahhh, ahhh…” She didn’t know what she wanted or really want anything in particular. She just wanted my love and attention. So I pulled her into my lap and hugged her. Once again, my groom and I executed a perfect tango of child care and house work. So glad to have him on my team.
- In addition to the fun of Chloe being sick; we have the added bonus of medication side effects. Chloe is currently taking steroids for the RSV. Wow. It makes her act like she’s had 6 lbs of sugar. The Moms of Toddlers and Tiaras should not give their kids pixie sticks and Mountain Dew, but rather a dropper of Prednisolone. It’s liquid energy. Along with the energy comes a little sass! She took her juice box this morning and turned it upside down and squirted it on my rug and sofa just for the fun of it. This is not typical of my child! I caught her playing toss with my laundry basket in my room. As I was folding the laundry, she walked up and trampled on it stating simply “I’m walking on the laundry.” She’s thrown toys. I can’t get too upset at her though because I know she doesn’t feel good and I know it’s the medicine as well. No medicine seems to help her coughing and it’s just pitiful to hear her constant coughing, see her runny nose and red rimmed eyes, and listen to her cry repeatedly over nonsense. I’m still amazed that my “never sick child” has endured two illnesses in such a short period of time. God is definitely giving us all strength and continues to protect Bailey. This too shall pass. I’m still smiling.
That is all 🙂
- Overnight around the Gowen house was eventful, as usual. Bailey fell asleep for the night around 9 pm. I gave her a real bath using lavender baby wash and swaddled her tight. She slept very well, just waking to nurse, until around 3 am. She woke wide eyed, not crying or fussy, just wanting to socialize a bit. Chloe woke too, within the next half hour. In contrast, she was crying and very fussy. She was coughing and feverish. I changed and fed Bailey. Ben medicated Chloe and gave her a cold drink. Then he offered to switch, as Chloe was asking for me. I found our 3 am parenting amusing, but also impressive. Our movements were well orchestrated as we moved in concert to tame the children back to dreamland. When I took over Chloe duty, I thought I was getting the better end of the deal. I figured we would cuddle up and go straight to sleep. Wrong! A sick toddler is worse than a gassy infant. Cough, cry, wiggle, turn, ask for water, cry, roll over again, cough, cry, and so forth and so on. Ben put Bailey in the back pack and she fell asleep easily. Then do you know what he did?! He brought me the sleeping one and took back Chloe duty. What a sweetie! We were all back asleep by 5:00 and dozed for several hours.
- When we woke up, Chloe was a mess. She was coughing, crying, feverish. When they’re like that, there’s not much you can do to make things better. Ben and I agreed that another trip to the Dr was warranted. Last time it was the flu. It’s easy to ignore cold symptoms in yourself, but when it’s your kid, you aren’t as easy to let it go. I listened to her chest and it sounded clear, so I wasn’t concerned for pneumonia or anything. But I didn’t want to be a complete non-worried nurse and it end up progressing into something bad. So we went. Made appt. for 2:30. Got there 10 minutes late. The receptionist gave me a hard time. I had not realized that they were closing at 3. They questioned her symptoms and what I was doing for them and finally decided that they would see her. I tried not to be angry over the situation. It wasn’t like I enjoyed packing all my kids up and going to a Dr office to pay a co-pay, etc. I felt justified. I simmered down though; knowing I should have arrived on time. Chloe was negative for flu and strep, but positive for RSV. Poor kiddo. I’m just glad we got a diagnosis and some steroids and stronger cough med for nighttime. I had a moment of concern for Bailey, but remembered how He protected her from the flu, and prayed for His continued hedge of protection around her.
- So it’s New Year’s Eve. This is a time when many people make resolutions. I thought about it and I really don’t have a specific resolution this year. I found this amusing as I think back on previous years. I remember, in the past, making resolutions to quit smoking, stop drinking, loose weight, and things along those lines. I’ve ditched the majority of my bad habits. I probably drink more diet coke than I should. I know I eat way too much junk. But I’m pretty content with me. I don’t mean to suggest that there’s something wrong with resolutions. There’s not. We can all be a better us, and there’s nothing wrong with striving for that. I also don’t mean to suggest I’m without fault. I just happen to be where I feel like I need to be with myself right now and that feels good. So, this New Year’s, I resolve to continue on the path that God has for me. I resolve to continue to be the best Mother, Wife, Sister, friend, and Nurse that I can be. I resolve to remember that God is responsible for bringing me to the place in life where I’m content and happy to be what and where I am, and not take His blessings for granted. Happy New Year to you!
That is all 🙂
- It’s been a lazy day. It all started last night. We’ve been on the go a lot lately and I believe my children let me know about it. A baby can be the most peaceful creation on earth, with their sweet little coos and gurgles. But if you interfere with a baby’s sleep schedule, it’s like waking a dragon in its lair. Bailey kinda resembled a dragon or perhaps a dinosaur as she screamed into the night. Some of you have met my little bundle and will think “what?! That little baby is so mild tempered. I can’t see her making a peep!” That is generally true. My new addition loves nothing more than to sleep the day away. That’s where it can become problematic. Infant car ride sleep and bouncing from lap to lap and running through stores; these are not her idea of quality sleep. She is quite accepting of it at the time, but as we wind down for the night; that’s when she feels I would be most receptive to her gripe of how we spent the day. She’s very articulate and adamant when speaking her mind. Last night she conversed with me all about it until 2 am.
- My dear Chloe is sick again! I feel disappointed in myself as a Mother for letting it happen. Crazy, I know. But that’s how I feel. I feel like I should of let her rest more or perhaps tried to keep her a safe distance from other sick kiddos. It probably wouldn’t have prevented it, but I can’t help but think it might have. I hate her being sick. I hate that junky sounding cough. I hate that she feels so bad that she resembles someone with bipolar disorder. She cries one second over minuscule matters, then is giggling with joy, like she didn’t just have a mental breakdown. I let both girls sleep in today and we’ve stayed tucked away at home drinking orange juice and watching movies. Bailey’s OJ was, of course, second hand.
- This morning God spoke to me on joy. What I mean by this, is the ability to experience joy on a day to day basis, over everyday life, to include its ups and downs. Rejoicing in the face of ordinary or adversity; this is what I mean. I feel joy that my baby was cranky last night because she’s healthy and we were able to sleep in today. My girl is sick, but it’s nothing serious. My car broke down the other day, but my Father-in-Law fixed it. My house is small, but it’s warm and it’s ours and we can afford it. I don’t want to go back to work, but I have a job that gives me great income and flexibility to be home during the week with my children. I have a lot of bills, but they’re always paid on time. If you can find joy where you are, God is able to move you to even greater heights. I wish you joy!
That is all 🙂
- It’s a miracle that I’m here today. There was a wild animal in my bed last night. At least, that’s what it sounded like. First off; no, I’m not talking about Ben. Not yet, anyway. I’m speaking of the little grunting, growling critter who woke every one up with her loud slurping and gulping last night. Bailey is 3 weeks old today. Overnight she woke at least every 1-2 hours and ate like she had never been fed before. That girl was hungry and she enjoyed her meals. It must be the first of many growth spurts. As I look at her, I’m amazed at how she is growing so quickly. She will likely only be in a newborn size for a few more days. Bittersweet. So fast how time goes.
- It seems that Santa’s bag of toys vomited its contents into my house. It’s like a Benny Hill sketch. I hurriedly pick up the toys out of the living room floor while the baby is asleep and put them in Chloe and Marlie’s room. Baby wakes up and starts to cry. I go and get her out of bassinet. I return to living room and floor is magically covered with all the same toys I just put away. Chloe is sitting on the sofa peeking over the top of her Dora novel, all inconspicuous, no doubt amused at my antics. During a baby nap, I cleaned her room. It looked awesome! Her same age cousin came over and it looks like a tsunami hit the coast off the toy box. But, it is so fun to watch them play. I will continue to pick the toys up over and over and she’ll continue to pull them out over and over. It’s our individual callings in life.
- My baby sister came over today. She is nearing the end of her third trimester with her first child. I tried to break her in real good. She held Bailey while I showered. I let her change Bailey’s clothes. She didn’t want any part of diaper duty (doody). Soon she won’t have a choice in that one! It’s funny how fragile babies seem when you’re not use to them. You’re afraid you may break them. I remember being afraid to lift Chloe’s arms too high when bathing her. One day I did, and was shocked to see “cheese” in her armpit. My kid had fungus under her pits cause I had been afraid to raise her arms too high! This time around I know better. So funny. Trial and error. You hold your 2nd child a little less firmly; as you have to use your other arm to corral the first child from running across the parking lot at Walmart. You don’t watch the clock as you feed them or keep a record of wet diapers. You just know what’s right. That’s good that it gets easier since some aspects are more difficult. When I got back from the store earlier, Bailey was asleep and Chloe was falling apart because she needed to be asleep. I put sleeping baby in carrier down and carried sleepy toddler to rocking chair. Just as she was falling asleep, Bailey began to cry from hunger. I managed to feed one and get the other down for a nap simultaneously. Challenging. Yes. Impossible. No. Humorous and wish I had a video of myself in action. Definitely. Bailey is asleep in my lap and I hear Chloe calling me as she wakes from her nap. So…
That is all 🙂
- I knew when I woke up this morning (for good that is) that it was gonna be a good day. Bailey woke up first. Then Ben got up. Finally Chloe woke. Bailey was nestled under my right arm. Chloe saddled up to my left side and tucked herself under that arm. I was wishing for my own personal photographer at that point. The photo would need some censoring I suppose since my right breast was in my infants mouth and my left one had a toddler’s hand around it! That may be intrusive to some. It’s a normal day for me. Chloe commented, “that one is for Bailey and this one is for me.” No, I’m not tandem nursing. She hasn’t breastfed in 10 months or more. She just treats it like some kids do with a blankie or favorite stuffed animal (she can’t seem to let it go). In this morning moment of nostalgia, I didn’t correct her from loving on it. Instead I jokingly commented how nice it was for her to share with her sister. Then I asked her if we could share with Daddy. She replied, “No. He’s got his own.” Poor Ben. I did make a point to tell him how much I love him as he left for work. I know how busy things have been around here lately. I know he knows I love him, but I think it’s important to look the one you love in the eye and tell them in earnest just how much they mean to you.
- We had plans today to attend a family gathering. Things seemed to go a lot smoother today with the baby. It always seems to go like that. If I have a bad day; the next one is usually good. Thank you Lord. Bailey was her usual sweet self; resting soundly unless hungry or wet diaper or just needing a little loving. I’ve also become so proud of my little Chloe! She finally seems to be adjusting to the baby. She still wants cuddles from me. She still says “Mommy, I’m cold”, when she wants my attention (no doubt so she can be swaddled like the baby). But she is no longer pushing my limits with bad behavior just to get attention. She plays with her toys and allows me to care for the baby. Sure, she still runs in the room right when I get the baby asleep and loudly tells me what’s going on in the other room, but that’s just regular toddler behavior, not intentional bad behavior. She’s such a big girl and Mommy is so proud. I made a point to tell her today how much I loved her and how proud I was of her. She responded, “I want some Sponge Bob candy.” Well, I tried.
- We went to the family gathering, only an hour and a half late. It was fun. There were a lot of kids there, and I was once again reminded what a tyrant my child can be. She has no desire to share with other kids, despite my encouragement and good example. There was this blue plastic chair that she carried around half the day so no one else could sit in it! When I told her once to share, she boldly said “No Momma. I don’t want to share.” She actually tried to push a crawling baby because she thought the poor thing was coming to take her toy. I think her cavalier attitude did serve her well as she played unsupervised with 800 other, older children. I couldn’t help but peek in on her every 90 seconds or so. During one such spy mission I caught her jumping off furniture onto a pile of couch cushions. I said “be careful” to which she replied, “Momma, we’re just playing weehaw.” Then she jumped into the cushions and screamed “Weehaw!!” It did look fun, so I walked away for 120 seconds. She cried when we had to leave. There had been no chance for a nap today, which equals disaster at 5:30 pm. Our jeep had been acting funny and as I put the bags in the vehicle with the cold, wet rain, I felt the need to quickly pray “Lord please let it start!” It cranked right away. To calm Chloe’s crying, I held her hand in the back seat as I drove. So even though my arm was twisted to the point of discomfort, it made my heart feel good to know that just the touch of my hand made her feel better. The plan was to do some more visiting, but I stopped by our house to give Chloe a dose of cough medicine. When I came back out to the Jeep, it wouldn’t crank. It’s funny how I wasn’t that upset about it not cranking then because I was just grateful that it cranked when I prayed it would (when it was cold, wet, and far from home). Now I lay in a warm bed with Bailey sleeping on my left and Chloe on my right (a mirror image of how my day started). Now all we need is Daddy to come home from work and join us. Yes. It was a good day.
That is all 🙂
- I often will speak of small things that give me joy. Read my blog for an extended period of time, and you’ll likely see this theme repeated. That’s because I think it’s important to find happiness everywhere around you. I had an occasion to do just that early this morning. Bailey required a little bouncing. She wasn’t exceptionally fussy. She just needed to work some gas out, so to speak. As I rocked her, I looked around my bedroom. I saw that my jewelry box was taken over by little pink hair bows. At the foot of my bed was a tiny pair of puppy house shoes. My laundry basket was overflowing with small pants and itty bitty socks. Every few feet of the floor was covered by a doll or stuffed animal. I looked into the hall and saw how I had covered the wall with a crowded collage of family photos. Finally, I looked over to our bed and saw Ben and Chloe both snoring with their mouths open. Then I looked down at Bailey and she was doing the same. I got up to put us both back to bed and thought, “I love how my life has changed. I love that my room is no longer my own. I love how we pack a tiny house full of happiness. I even love the messes.” This is the good life!
- When Chloe first woke up, she surprised me. Instead of asking to watch her favorite cartoon in bed, she wanted to go play with her doll house she got for Christmas. I’m glad she likes it so much, but I also really enjoy watching her play. She is really learning to use her imagination and I just find it fascinating to watch. I think it’s so important. I grew up an only child in my early years. I didn’t get siblings until I was 10. We also didn’t live around family or in a neighborhood, so I had to play by myself. There were no video games, iPhones, or iPads. I love dolls and Barbie and could play in an imaginary world for hours on end. I like to see my child doing the same. She drove around her little family in their mini van today, grocery shopping and they even went to a parade. Then they accompanied Dora to the salon for a haircut and pedicure. I love to hear her little voice talking for the little people. All her puppy stuffed animals joined the fun. Then she got out her Dr kit and gave everyone a physical.
- Today has been an interesting day, to say the least. I had a main goal today of ordering my little sister a baby shower gift on the Internet. I had secondary goals to include a shower, dishes, and putting some Christmas presents away that currently reside on my sofa. From 10 am until 4 pm, I worked in getting that gift ordered. For some reason, Bailey would not sleep today unless in my arms. It is so hard to surf eBay with a crying baby! And I couldn’t do it on my phone, because the pics were too small to see properly. I feared I would never get it ordered and the date of the shower is too close to wait any longer. I found myself getting a littler perturbed at the baby. “Why can’t you sleep?!” Just when I thought I might snap, I look down at her sweet face, with her tiny button nose and mouth just like my own. I thought of the parents who recently lost their children. I thought of couples trying and trying to have their own children. I thought of poor parents who can only hold their newborn for a short time on this earth. I thought of these things and felt very foolish for being upset that I couldn’t shop online uninterrupted. God forgive me. Some days you just need to remember to put things in perspective. I am blessed. I will never forget.
That is all 🙂
- My day started on a negative note. Nothing bad really happened; I just felt a poor attitude surrounding me. I hate that. Bailey had trouble sleeping early this morning and awoke at least hourly. At one point, during her waking, I found myself thinking about work and when I would have to go back. It’s good to plan ahead, but it really bothered me that I was already dreading my return to work and found myself worrying about the logistics. Who will watch the baby and Chloe? Should I have two different sitters? Would Bailey take a bottle? Should I start pumping and introducing the bottle now? Would Ben have trouble getting all the girls ready for church? I began mentally making a to-do list. I was so exhausted that I was able to fall back asleep, but my thoughts had succeeded in polluting my mood.
- When we got up, Bailey was fussy and I couldn’t even seem to fix a cup of coffee without her crying. Chloe was following our lead and was falling to pieces at the drop of a hat. She cried because she didn’t want to shower with me; she wanted a bath. She cried because her nose was running. She cried because her chocolate milk was in the wrong cup. I suffered through getting her ready; as she cried because she didn’t want her hair brushed. As I was combing her hair and attempting a red bow, I heard Bailey start to cry again; awake after too short of a nap. Ben was trying to calm her with little result. He called to me “I’ll take care of Chloe if you’ll come get the baby!” For some reason it made me so mad and I switched with him, but not without saying in an angry voice, “Maybe I wanna do stuff for Chloe cause I miss her!” I share with you all honestly so perhaps we can relate to how everyday issues affect us all. Of course, I felt bad afterwards for my anger at Ben. I couldn’t just focus on how much I do for the baby. I had to also look at what all Ben does to help me be able to care for the baby! He is so good. I apologized honestly to him and he did to me. I think it’s so important to say you’re sorry, appreciate all your spouse does, and never allow the sun to set on your wrath.
- We collectively got the three girls ready and headed to Ben’s parent’s for a Christmas gathering. We agreed that we’re still adjusting. It may have been a challenging morning, but the afternoon gathering and fellowship with family has been wonderful. I love watching all the kids play. Chloe and her same age cousin, Sam, had to take a nap break, but the fun continues. We opened presents. My Mother-in-Law is a great gifter! I love seeing Chloe’s face as she receives a package and tears it open! I feel that the depressing mood has lifted from me; some thanks to the good time with family, some to the support of my hubby, and the rest thanks to God’s grace. Each day is a new one in postpartum world with the adjustment of a new newborn. I’ve got good support behind me and feel blessed as usual. Now we’re off to dinner together at Chop House. So…
That is all 🙂
- I’ll start my Christmas Day facts with Christmas Eve. We attended a 9 pm service at church last night. It is a tradition for us to go, and we’ve started our own tradition of attending in our pajamas. Chloe was proud to wear her new house shoes she has been admiring on TV and finally received; Stompeez. We almost didn’t go. Chloe was crying. Bailey was crying. Both were crying for unknown reasons 15 minutes till time to go. I left the decision on whether to go or not with Ben. I wanted to go, but I figured with them crying, he’d say forget about it. He decided we would go for it, and I’m so glad we did. Both girls settled immediately in the car. Chloe enjoyed herself there and the baby slept peacefully. We enjoyed communion, a wonderful message, and great music. Towards the end, Hallellujah Chorus played. It was so beautiful, but beyond that was how the air changed. I could feel the Holy Spirit fall. I felt God’s pleasure in our appreciation and celebration through song. It was such a wonderful feeling as the chorus sang praises and boasted to Him. I don’t believe any words in my meager vocabulary could articulate the feeling in my spirit at that moment, so I won’t try. I just know it felt so good. Sometimes I wonder how you can return to everyday tasks after having glimpsed a touch of such glory. What a time it will be to sing praises to Him directly!
- It’s kinda hard to follow that one. But we did return home and had fun things to do. I was really surprised at how agreeable Chloe was to sleep. At first she said couldn’t sleep, but I pulled up a Santa tracker and Ben pointed to lights in the sky that looked suspiciously like Santa’s sleigh. We put out milk and cookies and she drifted off. Bailey was a bit more difficult. We discovered that Bailey prefers being a home body. She did not like all the hustle and bustle and visiting. She likes being at home with just us and sleeping uninterrupted. She was so cranky and exhausted from car rides and lap hopping. Chloe cried as a baby, but when Bailey cries it sounds like she’s being tortured. It’s horrible. Thankfully it’s not often. She did fall asleep and has since rested like Rip Van Winkle.
- Chloe woke up on her own, thankfully not too early, but immediately remembering that Santa had come. We did video her walk down the hall and I’m so glad. The joy on a child’s face as they first glimpse their treasures is simply magical. Chloe got a doll house from Santa, complete with a little family of four. I loved that while she had the Mommy, daughter, and baby eating breakfast in the dining room; that the Daddy was on the toilet taking a poop. She also said the Daddy is the one that tells the kids to be quiet. Cute how reality molds imaginative play. I’ve had just as much fun playing with her. It’s been a wonderfully lazy, joyful, love filled day. I am full to the brim.
That is all 🙂
- On a special day like today, you can find many awesome, big things to get excited about. But for me, this morning, I found that I started my day finding joy in all the little things that bless me everyday. I love that my infant daughter is starting to look around and focus on her surroundings. When she looked at me and stopped crying when I scooped her up and spoke to her this morning, it made my heart smile. I love having the day off with my soul mate. I love cooking eggs for my family, and watching Chloe shovel them in her mouth at lightening speed makes me happy. I love washing Chloe’s hair with watermelon shampoo. I love that when I was in the living room feeding Bailey, I heard Chloe wake up and call out for me. It doesn’t have to take a big present or an exciting Christmas party to make you smile. You can find wonderful gifts in every tiny moment of your life, if you just open your eyes to see them.
- I know that for many people, the Holidays can be a depressing time. This is especially true in the face of loss. I understand. My Mother passed away in the month of October. I recall that Christmas being a very dark time for our family. It was hard to find joy in a time of such pain. I remember finding presents that she had bought for us, and it was only depressing to me. To be honest, for about a year I was very lost. I slept on my couch and stayed at home, except for work. I was like a turtle in my shell. I did not seek God’s healing like I should. I sought solace elsewhere. Thankfully God kept me in His frame anyway. I once saw a movie many years ago, where the main actor’s parents died. I cried at the end and thought “I could never deal with that!” But I did. Somehow I did. When you can’t, you can, with that extra measure God gives (even if you aren’t aware). I still try to call her to share good news. That may never stop. But the dark pain has gone, and hope remains. If you are feeling pain or darkness this Holiday season, please know that light is on the horizon. Healing is in your future. No eloquent prayer is required; just say “help” and He will. It may not be instantaneous, but it will come.
- As I write this last fact, I’m multitasking by nursing the baby too. We have a fun, but busy evening ahead. There’s a family gathering at my brother’s. It will be a blast to gather with all my siblings and I’m really looking forward to it! Our church has a service tonight which is always food for the soul and leaves me full and satisfied. Then Santa and Mrs. Claus have a lot of presents to put out. I can’t wait for Chloe to see what she’s getting. She is so easy to please and gets so excited, that I know she’s gonna flip out. Have a great day all. Merry Christmas Eve. God bless us everyone!
That is all 🙂