- Today started early. I’m still getting used to getting an additional child ready. When my alarm went off, Bailey woke up with me and was far too curious about her surroundings to go back to sleep. Not wanting to wake the others yet, I put her in her rocking bassinet in the bathroom with me while I showered. She was content to stare at the towel rack while I got ready. It’s quite the adjustment getting used to a little baby again; stopping what you’re doing to nurse, burp, change diapers. It’s also a timing issue, trying to decide how much more time you need in the morning. Although, this is a loose schedule, considering how unexpected poops and spit-ups can throw a wrench in your plan. I realized I have become my mother. I dressed the girls up in velvet and silk Christmas dresses this morning. I’m certain they were uncomfortable, but I just loved doing it! They were so cute! I’m glad I took the time before church to get pictures since Chloe got ranch dressing on hers and Bailey pooped on hers. She also pooped on me, but luckily I wasn’t wearing a red velvet dress.
- What a blessed day! I had the pleasure of watching my angel Chloe dress up as an angel in our church’s live Nativity today. Yesterday at practice, she wanted no part of the costume, but once I put mine on, she was all in. She looked absolutely precious if I do say so myself. She wore her red leather shoes that she’s been known to call her “dancing shoes” and boy did she. While the other angels in the chorus sang along to the Christmas carols, she took her place in front of the manger and began to dance. I’m not sure where she learned her fancy foot work. Bailey played the perfect baby Jesus. As her guardian angel, so to speak, I delivered her to the manger, swaddled and sweet. She slept in perfect peace throughout the entire program. Even as the tiny angels, shepherds, and wisemen came to adore her and place their little hands upon her, she still slept in heavenly peace. It filled this Mommy’s heart with joy to see my precious children re-enacting the story of Christmas.
- This morning I was talking to God while I showered, as I usually do. I was praying for different things, asking Him for this and that. All of the sudden it hit me and I felt very humbled. As much as I know God wants to bless me and answer my prayers, I had a moment where I was like “What right do you have to keep asking for stuff?!” When I stopped and thought about it, God had already given me the greatest gift I could ever imagine and we are at a time of the year to celebrate this wonderful present. He gave His son so that I might live. Who could ask for anything more? I am surrounded by blessings in this life and am promised an eternity of such thanks to Jesus and His gift to me. I receive it.
That is all 🙂
- I find it fascinating the circus acts a parent will perform to stop their baby from crying. There’s the march. Like a soldier on guard, a parent will march their infant back and forth across the room, in perfect time and cadence, literally wearing a hole in the carpet with their repetitive steps. There’s the positional hold. Where as when you first brought your infant home and you were like “watch her head” as you cradled her in the nook of your arms; that quickly changes as the crying crescendos. You become like a stunt man, safely manipulating your child into a multitude of creative positions to somehow help that ever elusive bubble of gas escape from their little body. I’m sure most yoga positions and that chair on TV for back problems that turns upside down, were all invented by the parent of a gassy baby. Some employ sound. I’ve personally tried a vacuum cleaner, a clothes dryer, humidifier, music, my own voice, an exhaust fan, running water, and a white noise app on my phone. Sometimes a car ride is the trick. My Mother swore by it, for me. A normally civilized adult can become a blubbering idiot, imitating cartoon voices to sing songs we thought were lost in our own childhood forever. Sadly, what works today, may not work tomorrow. But their is no sweeter feeling of victory, than when your baby charming technique is a success and your little one falls into dreamland (at least until it’s time to be fed, changed, and it starts all over).
- Ben is on the mend from the flu. Chloe is a step ahead of him. She’s better, but still not 100%. I feel like I’m on the cusp of feeling better; it just continues to elude me. Bailey remains miraculously healthy. Today, Chloe and I were well enough to go to the church to practice for tomorrow’s live Nativity. Bailey came along since I’m her walking/talking food source. It was decided that Bailey will play the part of baby Jesus. A lot of actors were up for the part, but seeing that she’s the only newborn, she was a shoo-in. As a fanatically attached mother, this landed me a role as an angel to keep guard over the manger. Chloe was to be an angel, but in true Chloe fashion, decided she didn’t want to wear the costume, but still wants to stand up there with all the other kids. Insert aggravated sigh here. I brought it home and my plans for the evening are to somehow reverse psychology that costume on her. Wish me luck. Chloe was very hyper at the practice and disobeyed me approximately 87 times. This got her 86 warnings and one light swat on her diaper padded backside, to which she wailed like I had burned her with hydrochloric acid. So glad her Daddy will be there tomorrow. He’s so much better at the fear factor than me. It’s like she knows I’m a sucker.
- Once home, Chloe calmed and has been my little helper. Every time I go to change Bailey’s diaper, she appears at my side like a little sneaky ninja. She gets the diaper for me. Of course, she only wants to use the ones with Elmo on them. So the nursery floor is covered with Big Bird and Cookie Monster discards. She was quick to help me with lunch dishes. She scooted a kitchen chair over to the sink, crushing my toes in the process and spilling enough water in the floor, that we ended up mopping as well. I wrapped presents with my little elf helper. If you get a present with extra pieces of crinkled tape all across the top; know that it was secured with love. She’s also been eager to help with all aspects of Bailey’s care. She finds it helpful to grab Bailey’s head and kiss it while Bailey is trying to nurse. She also feels that when Bailey is almost asleep, that’s the best time to screech “she’s so sweet Momma!” I’m taking it all in stride, cause at least she doesn’t want me to take Bailey back. Although she did just tell me to put Bailey in her bassinet so I could hold her instead.
That is all 🙂
- I knew as soon as I saw his pale face and red rimmed eyes last night, that my dear hubby was sick too. He began to run a fever shortly after arriving home. He had all of Chloe’s symptoms but could articulate them without the tears. We’re such a close family; we just have to share everything, including the flu virus. Bailey remains the healthiest of us all, and I know it’s only the grace of God that has spared her from the sickness circulating in our home. Around 5 am, I woke to feed the baby. I heard the wind whistling outside and chuckled to myself that today is supposedly the end of the world. I realized, if it was, that would be fine. I was ready. I thought, at least this cold would be over, but I would miss seeing Chloe open her Christmas presents. Funny how your mind works in the early morning hours. I also realized about that time, that I was starting to feel better! My healing culminates just in the nick of time; as my help mate begins to need me.
- Chloe continues to improve. No fever. This morning I gave her some Tamiflu as she started her breakfast. She had cereal with slices of banana. I should of waited until she ate it all, because she ended up only eating the four slices of banana and drinking water. As I was in the bathroom getting ready, she came in and I could tell she was sick. I calmly walked her over to the toilet and held her hair back as she threw up. I realized then, that my child has never vomited. She actually handled it quite well. She didn’t cry. She actually said, “I’m sorry Momma. I messed up the floor. I was just trying to watch Dora.” What a sweet girl. And what kind of tyrant must I be, that she was worried about puking on the living room floor?! It broke my heart a little. She hasn’t been nauseated or vomited since, so I’m sure it was the medicine in an empty stomach. Her Dr. told me today that she should now be noncontagious and that made me feel better for her being involved in Christmas activities. This illness has really brought out her sweet nature. I don’t want to speak too soon, but I think my pre-Bailey toddler is back. Whew.
- Bailey and I, being the healthy ones, had a big day out. She had her 2 week check-up. Everything looked great. 75th percentile on height. 90th on weight. She’s gaining well. That breast milk does a baby good! It has certainly given her my immunities. But it’s like I told Ben; I can’t think of anyone I would rather give em too at this time. After her appt., and bringing her Daddy his own prescription for Tamiflu, Bailey and I went shopping for eggs, bread, milk, etc. I also picked up a little gift for Ben from the girls. I can’t say what, since he does occasionally read this. Bailey was a perfect angel. She slept in the sling as I wore her around the store for two hrs. I rather enjoyed all the attention she attracted. I must admit, she’s such a cutie! After our adventure, I stopped by my in-laws, who had bought us some KFC. I hugged them both and they let me know that if there was anything we needed, anything at all, to let them know. As I drove away I actually cried, as I was touched by their sincere offer of assistance. I am so blessed to have the love, prayers, and support of family. When we got home, I was so happy to see the other half of our happy, though sick, little family.
That is all 🙂
- I just woke from a wonderful 30 minute nap. It was so nice, that it might as well have been a 2 hr nap. Of course, a 2 hr nap is quite the fantasy! I’m not really sure how I’m doing this at all. I’m supposed to be getting better, yet I feel worse. As if postpartum isn’t fun enough, along with the care of a newborn; then just add in some illness. I was so pleased one week after delivery, when my aches and pains ceased, but now they’re back. If you ever worked in a restaurant and had to lift up that rubber mat in front of the grill and fryers and mop under it, then looked at your shoes afterwards; that’s what I feel like. I feel like the greasy sludge on the bottom of a fast food shoe. As if your hair isn’t nappy enough with the lack of showers and addition of spit up; go ahead and multiple that with the sweat of a 100 fevers. Every time I get Bailey to sleep, I’m racked by an uncontrollable coughing fit that shakes the poor thing awake. I’m sure every parent reminisces back to when they could chug a bottle of NyQuil and call it a day. I finally got up from my meager nap a while ago when the phone rang, of course, and the voice on the answering machine let me know that the rear suspension on our family vehicle is gonna corrode and cause a horrific crash.
- My dear, sweet toddler is feeling better just enough to cause her to be extremely hyper, but is still sick enough that she can’t handle the emotional issues of everyday little people play. She can be running around, spilling chocolate milk on the rug, and rubbing string cheese on the flat screen TV one minute, then explode into wrenching sobs the next because her baby stroller is stuck on the corner of the coffee table. She still sounds terrible enough with her productive cough and congested chest, that I’m giving her that extra mile. My leniency only seems to make things worse though, since it causes her to push my buttons and test the limits to see just how far she can get. I’ve haven’t muttered so many unmentionable things under my breath since I had to face rush hour traffic on the Washington, DC beltway. I think she has cabin fever, but sadly cold weather has ushered in just when I would want to take her outside.
- In all seriousness, I’m ok. We’re ok. I gripe and complain above, more for a release and comic relief than anything. I am so happy that Bailey is still well. God’s promises are true. It makes me feel better myself to see Chloe healing. It broke my heart to hear her cry with bloodshot eyes while her fever burned inside her. I’ll take hyper, healing Chloe over lethargic, sick Chloe any day. I know I’m getting better too. My immunity is just compromised right now. At least I don’t have to go to work. I’m beyond blessed with my partner, my dear Ben, who helps me so much. He came home from work for his break and did some household chores, then took Chloe for a car ride. When he brought her back and laid her napping body on the bed, my heart swelled with love as I looked upon her angelic face. It’s worth every minute of it. I kissed my Prince Charming goodbye as he left for work, and once again my heart swelled.
That is all 🙂
- We’re still here. I would like to think we’re on the mend. I slept hard, but fitfully, coughing with a sore throat. I personally didn’t feel any better when I got up; just exhausted. It did lift my spirits, though, to see Chloe wake up. Ben was a God send last night. He took care of Chloe while I tended to Bailey. He rocked her most of the night, pushed fluids throughout the night, and gave her medicine as needed. She did spike 103 on her temp last night, but I was happy to see a sagging diaper when we got up. She awoke with a smile on her face and was ready to play. She immediately went and found her Dr. kit so she could listen to her baby doll and me to “make us better.” Her appetite is improved and while she needs reminding, her fluid intake is better as well. She still has a yucky sounding cough and a hoarse voice that tugs at this Momma’s heart strings. She’s not back to herself, but I can see God’s healing hand on her. Some may think my attitude to her being sick is overreacting , but please understand that I’ve been blessed with a super healthy child who never had a fever until she was well over a year old. So, for me, this has been a big deal. I’m so thankful for her healthy little body and have tried not to love her to pieces today! Ok, I haven’t tried that hard.
- Chloe feeling better, playing more and crying less, came at a good time today. Miss Bailey, not wanting to be outdone, has demanded my full attention today. Don’t worry. She’s remained a febrile and I see no signs or symptoms of sickness with her. I am still trusting in God to protect her from illness and believe it done. She’s just wanted her Mommy today. She has not liked sleeping in her bassinet and has preferred my arms. I finally put her in the sling and wore her around as I fixed scrambled eggs for the family. She rested quite comfortably next to my heart, which is fitting since that’s where she belongs. Ben brought it up and I too recall Chloe becoming this way around the same age. And I really don’t mind a baby wanting to be held. I recall it getting annoying at times with Chloe, but now I also know that it won’t last long. Before I know it, Bailey will want to be running around with Chloe. So if I have to spend the next few months with a baby attached to my body, that is fine. I love to look down and see a sweet, sleeping face.
- With all the shopping, Christmas parties, then sickness around here; my house has taken a back burner. I feel almost claustrophobic at the piling dishes threatening to fall out of my sink. If I step on another dried chicken nugget bite, piece of macaroni, or discarded breakfast cereal; I might just scream. The living room rug has become a toy box and I can’t even see the print on the sofa anymore. It’s tough to take these things one at a time and not feel like I have to tackle it all at once. Ben made a good point today when he said, “If you continue to add things to your to-do list, you’ll never get anything done.” Life is like my dirty house. It can seem overwhelming and you just don’t know where to start. Ben offered to do dishes for me while I calmed myself and took the time to put the baby down for a nap properly. She slept well in her bassinet after that and I picked up as I could, allowing Chloe to help (and by this I mean track through the dirt pile I had swept up). Housework, as in life, has to be prioritized, you may have to ask for a little help, and you have to keep in perspective what’s really important and not let those you love suffer or fall to the wayside in your pursuits.
That is all 🙂
- We went to my Dad’s Christmas party last night. I should have known something was wrong when Chloe declined anything from her plate, which included chicken nuggets, pizza, and a cookie! I thought she was just tired. She kept complaining of being cold on the way there and back, and I thought it was more cries for attention. I felt horrible when we got home and passed out like I had guzzled cocktails at the party instead of bottled water. Bailey slept right along with me. When I would wake to feed her, I noticed Ben rocking Chloe. He said, “She’s sick. I think she’s running a fever.” I felt her and thought she felt ok. Then he felt me and said “that’s cause you’re running a fever too.” And so it began.
- Ben went to work this morning. I figured I could handle it. I realized I had practically lost my voice overnight. I also realized that my family members who help me with Chloe were unavailable today. It was becoming more apparent that we needed to go to the Dr. Thankfully, Bailey was showing no signs or symptoms of sickness. In fact, if you base things on appetite and wet and dirty diapers, then she was healthy as a horse. Another thing I was thankful for was the new Dora toys and baby Dr toys Chloe received at the party last night. The distraction of play was helping. But it could only do so much. As her fever began to spike over 102, she fell apart. She wouldn’t eat and would barely drink. She didn’t want Popsicles or ice cream. As I rocked her to sleep and felt the heat of her burning through my clothes, and wiped the tears away as she cried “I’m hurting Momma, I’m cold”; I broke into tears myself after her eyes closed.
- Ben took a 3 hr break from work and took us to the acute care clinic. I felt somewhat better, I think because I had been focusing all my energies on the girls. I have laryngitis and bronchitis. My dear Chloe has Type A Flu! Bailey still appears to be the healthiest of us all. I got a flu vaccine which I hope will protect us both. The Dr did say that people were coming in with Chloe’s strain of the flu who had been vaccinated as well. So actually, I’m trusting God to keep my infant daughter well, and I’m washing my hands like I have OCD. It’s been a rough evening. It’s hard to know which crying baby to pick up first. So I’ve been trying to hold them both. Easier said than done for sure. Still pushing fluids on Chloe. I just heard the most wonderful sound (next to the laughter of Chloe); Ben coming in the back door. He brought pedialyte. Good man. Keep us in your prayers.
That is all 🙂
- I recently had a comment by a friend commending me for doing such a good job balancing my attention between Chloe and Bailey. While I truly appreciated the compliment, it made me wonder if perhaps I only blog about the positive things I do. Surely not, but if that’s the case, then I feel obligated to set the record straight. I fall short in so many ways. I’ve always had a Mary Poppins mentality, where I desire to be “practically perfect in every way.” Of course, I fail with that mind set! Last night I yelled at Chloe for peeing in the floor, knowing full well that she couldn’t get herself on the big potty in time. This morning as she harassed me for chocolate milk, I responded, “Can you give me a damn minute!” Shocked myself with that one. She coolly replied “yes momma, I’ll give you a damn minute.” Major fail! I tell you this to open myself up to you and admit that I’m far from Mary Poppins status. But the positive thing is, that I start each day fresh, not looking behind, but looking ahead, pressing forward to the goal.
- Today was an eventful day. Ben and I have waited on our Christmas shopping, mostly due to finances. Right before Christmas can be a financially inconvenient time to take off work! But today we finally went! We had Chloe and Bailey in tow. Ben took Chloe and the list of guy names and I took Bailey and the list of girl names and we split up to cover more ground. This is our last day off together before Christmas and we were in a time crunch since his daughter Marlie would be getting off the school bus at 4:30. I think he had an unfair advantage since I had to make a pit stop right off the bat to nurse the baby. So if you were in the shoe dept. at Walmart today and saw a ragged looking woman with an apron over her chest, that was me! I was also stopped approximately every 500 ft so that total strangers, mostly older women, could ohh and ahh over my little bundle. Bailey only cried out loud once, but since she sounds like a tortured animal screaming, it elicited dirty looks from the entire electronics dept. We managed to achieve most of what we wanted for the day, but this caused Chloe’s nap to be skipped which was regretted for the rest of the day.
- I would like to speak briefly on “hearing God’s voice.” First off, I am not a biblical scholar. Anything I speak on this subject is my opinion based on what I believe. There are many thoughts about that phrase, “hearing God’s voice.” Some will feel at ease with it, having experienced it themselves. Other people may feel confused, frightened, or uncertain if such a thing exists. Some may find the idea laughable or absurd. In my opinion, God still speaks to His people. It’s not something that was left in the Old Testament in a burning bush. There are many ways He speaks, through the Bible or from the words of another, but most often, I think it’s that still, small voice you hear in your head when you are quiet and listen for it and are accepting of what you hear. I’ll try to give an example. I was sitting on a hill enjoying some quiet time on my lunch break. I was at a park by the river. My time was up and I had to head back to work. While heading to my car, I saw a woman my age down by a fence looking over the water. I heard a voice inside my head say “go talk to her.” I thought, well, that’s crazy, I gotta get to work. I went to my car and got in. As I tried to crank the car, I heard it again. “Go talk to her.” I again ignored it. I cranked the car and put it in reverse. Again the voice. “Go talk to her!!!” But I’ll look stupid. Dang. I couldn’t leave. I cut the car off and went over to her sheepishly. Finally I said “hey. I just thought you may wanna talk.” She began to cry. Then she told me her best friend, her brother, had just died. She admitted to feeling suicidal at that moment and had thought of jumping. We talked at length about him. Mostly I listened. She thanked me as the conversation waned and said “I just needed to talk.” I believe that God told me to talk to her. It doesn’t always have to be like that. Sometimes He may just be telling you to give back the extra change that cashier just gave you. Sometimes He may tell you something is gonna happen in your life, but then it doesn’t. That doesn’t mean you can’t hear God, it just means His way or timing of fulfilling what He said may not be the same as yours. What’s important is to start listening. Believe that He speaks and that He’ll speak to you. Don’t be surprised at what He has to say to you. Just believe. Sit alone in a quiet place, open your heart and mind, ask to hear, and then listen. It may not come easy at first, but keep trying. He likes perseverance. Just believe.
That is all 🙂
- Today was our first day back to church with our new, special little addition. It was an interesting morning to say the least. I woke 2 1/2 hrs prior to the time we should leave. In retrospect, I should have gotten up at least 3-4 hrs in advance. Bailey was sound asleep when I got up. I changed her diaper and nursed her, during which time she stayed fast asleep. That’s the thing with babies. If you want them to wake up, it’s impossible. You can undress them, bath them, talk to them, and nothing. You could run 5 vacuums simultaneously while blow drying your hair with the TV at full volume, and they would stay asleep. Adversely, if you want them to stay asleep, they’re gonna wake up. Feed em, have a dry diaper, nice and swaddled, white noise playing in the background, and it’s all for nothing. I went to shower with all my brood still sleeping soundly. After my quick shower, I decided to peek in on the baby. Ben was sawing logs and my little helper Chloe was standing by the bassinet, rocking it haphazardly, while attempting to jab a pacifier in any accepting hole available. I should have known better. Thankfully, no injuries were sustained. I then had to devote at least 15 min and one arm a piece for each girl, another short nursing session to calm Bailey from her rocky ride, and was tasked to find appropriate toddler TV programming complete with chocolate milk and a cup of dry cereal. It takes much longer to get ready when the job is broken into segments divided by attending to the needs of others. After I was finally ready, I got Chloe all dolled up. This is incredibly enjoyable for me. I love dressing up my little girl!! And now there’s two. Bailey was such a champ while I got her dressed. Of course, by the time I was ready to dress her, she had fallen back asleep! She humored me during the process and never cried once. My one regret; forgot to take pictures. Before dressing the younger girls, I had woke my step-daughter and husband for them to get ready. The nine year old was ready by the time I finished the baby; her father is a different story! My dear husband works from open to close on Saturdays and subsequently requires an IV infusion of Maxwell House to get moving on Sunday morning. Two diaper bags later, we were all ready to go. “Girls, get in the Jeep!” I called. Chloe cries out, “No! I pooping!!” Of course. Why would I be surprised. So we sidetracked to the Dora potty and went #2. My goal was to make it to church by 10:15. We arrived at 11:05. I gotta work on it!
- I so enjoy that my church is small and inviting. It’s like home. When we arrived late, there were no cold stares of disdain, only welcoming smiles and whispered congratulations. Nursery services are provided, but we chose to keep the two younger girls seated in the sanctuary with us. I think that for a two year old, Chloe is very well behaved. She colored in the floor while eating pretzels, knocking my coffee cup over 26 times, bumping into her baby sister’s carrier 12 times, and sticking her fingers in the crack of the seat in front of us to poke the nice lady there in the butt. She did this all fairly quietly, though, so I can’t complain. I enjoyed the sermon. I enjoyed the fellowship that followed. I enjoyed sitting next to my sister, who had come as well, and seeing the soft glow of growing motherhood on her lovely face. (I’m eager for the birth of her little one)
- Afterwards, we returned home. I so enjoy Sunday afternoons. It’s a nice, quiet day to spend with family. Ben is always off on Sundays. I think that’s the only think I dislike about my job, is working every Sunday. I’m soaking up this time off. It was nice to sit down in a warm house and watch a Christmas movie with my gang. I fed my baby, held my other baby in my lap, and held hands with my sweetheart. As naps were started by the younger of the family, I meditated and studied on today’s sermon and God’s word. My Father-in-Law spoke of the birth of Jesus and what it implies to us all, even today. I feel joy knowing that God loved us so much that He became a person and lived among us. Still loves us. Jesus Christ was truly God and truly man. “He is King, the gate, the true vine, the bread of life, the good shepherd, the way and the truth and the life, the bright morning star, the chief cornerstone, the light of the world, the great physician, the rock of ages, the author and perfecter of our faith, the first and the last, healer of the sick, lover of the poor, teacher, and Savior of the world”. I feel honored that this gift was given to me. Isn’t it wonderful to know someone who is called by so many names? It doesn’t matter which one you choose as long as you call Him. In a world where devastating events befall us; it is such a peace to know there is One who is in control, has it all figured out, and knows the answer to the question “why?”.
That is all 🙂
- This morning when we all woke up and started stirring, I had Bailey sitting up with her Daddy while I made coffee and breakfast for Chloe. She had chosen a new cereal at the store yesterday and we were trying it out. She used true toddler thinking to make her cereal choice. Dora was on the box. Those advertisers are smart. Maybe they can help me attract traffic to my blog. Anyway, Surprise. She didn’t like the cereal. Meanwhile, Bailey spits up. Then she spits up some more. It looked like so much. I am amused at myself as a parent. As a RN, by trade, I tend to be very calm and collected, especially when illness/injury is experienced by others. But for some reason when it’s my child, that all goes out the window. I work in critical care and calmly deal with a patient who has no blood pressure or cannot breathe on his own. Yet when my kid spits up, I think “that’s a lot! Is something wrong? I need to watch for dehydration. Could she have aspirated?” It’s hysterical. I question in my mommy brain “why is she sneezing so much?” Then my nurse brain answers, “chill, that’s normal for a newborn.” “Is she eating enough?!” “Yes, stupid, look at the above average amount of voids and stools.” My right brain and left brain are constantly conversing. Between the two of us, this kiddo is getting taken care of.
- Chloe continues what I’m calling her “transitional” phase. Is it possible to develop ADHD overnight? Has anyone heard of them switching the siblings instead of the newborn at the hospital? I swear I came home with two new children. It’s a total “beat me, bore me, just don’t ignore me.” I continue to pour out the love on her. I’m holding her, attending to all her needs, and reading stories, playing games. Earlier she came up as I was nursing baby and wanted me to hold her. Bailey was finished and dozing, so I offered to put baby down to just hold Chloe. After I put her in the bassinet, Chloe was leaned against the couch staring at me. I told her to come here and let me hold her. She declined, stating “I’m gonna go play in my room.” She’s only 3 feet tall. How can she get a knife all the way up there in my heart?! I will continue to hug her, squeeze her, tell her I love her and how pretty she is. I hope this phase passes soon.
- One true blessing during this time is Bailey’s temperament. She is so calm, relaxed, and easy maintenance, so to speak. It allows me the time to attend to Chloe. It would be so much more difficult if I was constantly juggling an infant in my arm as I bathed, fed, dressed, or just held Chloe. I can put Bailey down in her bassinet, awake, and she will just smile at the flower rattle in her eye sight. She completed her third night of sleeping without incident. The spit up I mentioned earlier, is the first time she’s spit up since we brought her home. She is one week old today, so I realize she still has changes to make in her habits, but I am really thankful for her nature at this time. Right now she is in my lap just watching me type. Such a sweetie. Her heart rate was always on the low side, for a girl, while in utero. So perhaps she’s just really mellow. Maybe I’m more mellow as a 2nd time Mommy. Who knows. I’m not going to take it for granted! Chloe and her big sis are visiting their Nonnie, so I’m gonna tackle the laundry. But first, I’m gonna enjoy looking into those curious little slate blue eyes staring up at me.
That is all 🙂
- So, if anyone wants my opinion, I personally think that a newborn is easier to take care of than a two year old. At least, that’s been the case around here since Bailey arrived. For example, let’s look at meal time. You feed a newborn, burp them, then they fall asleep. Your toddler wants to eat: First, you go through a multitude of meal choices, and after much prodding, they make a decision (not the one you would have chose). Next, you prepare this toddler friendly meal, only for them to decide, as it’s placed in front of them, that as of this moment, they no longer like that food. You either make them eat it or save that battle for another day and make something different. Just as you get involved in another task, they scream “done” and are ready to be helped down from their booster seat. You find the meal half eaten with a large portion of it on their clothing, in their hair, and on the floor. This debacle ends with you on your hands and knees scrubbing up Mac & cheese off the hardwood before it congeals. I will admit, my sweet toddler has been replaced by a wild, jealous, often tearful, tantrum throwing young lady. I am hopeful that this is a transitional period and my dear girl will reappear soon!
- A momentous event occurred today. I made my first Walmart trip with both girls, by myself. It went beautifully. I couldn’t have hoped for better. Bailey and Chloe were both peacefully quiet on the way there. Rather than toting a heavy carrier, I placed Bailey in a sling and wore her in the store. She slept the entire time. I didn’t feel rushed. I let Chloe ride the carousel horse there and we also visited McDonalds. I got the required items without a snag. The only eventful turn from the trip was at the checkout. The lines were long and an employee came over and announced that lane 7 was now open. I’ll remind you all that I had a toddler with no nap and was wearing a newborn. I had maybe 20 items. A 20 something woman, by herself, with a basket overflowing with stuff quickly said to me “do you mind if I go ahead of you?” She asked this as she pulled her cart out in front of me. I was so shocked I could only reply “yeah, sure, I just got a hungry baby.” She was “kind” enough to ignore my remark. I still got out of there without incident. Smooth ride back home and got the milk put away before having to nap Chloe and feed Bailey. I told Ben that I understand it may not always go that smoothly, but it was a good confidence boost for me that this first time it did.
- I know that I will not be the only parent that will hold their children a bit tighter tonight after the horrific event in CT today. I am shocked at such an unquestionably dreadful tragedy and can not understand why these things happen. I realize it’s not up to me to understand, but only pray for the grief the families are feeling. Ben and I have discussed this type of thing before and we personally believe that when an innocent child is faced with a frightening or a painful event, that God with his mercy steps in before they have to experience such a feeling and removes them from perceiving that fear or pain. I have no evidence of this. It’s just how I feel my God would handle things for the innocent ones. An event such as this, can often make one fearful to raise children in such a world as this. But I think that’s one of the benefits of having a close personal relationship with The Lord, is that your life doesn’t have to be ruled by this fear. That’s not to say that tragic events won’t befall you. They just might. But I find that trusting in a power higher than my own, gives me a peace that makes fear fall to the wayside. My thoughts and prayers are with all involved and effected by today’s tragedy. I pray that peace may descend upon them and help them through this time.
That is all.