I love being a nurse. I don’t think that’s a secret. I enjoy having the knowledge to answer questions when families ask, and it makes me feel really good to help someone get better. It’s so rewarding to help others, and I take pride in a job well done. In my critical care environment I would say most of us nurses get not just a rush, but a sense of accomplishment for helping someone turn things around. When a patient is crashing and you fix it; well, there’s not much better of a feeling than that. But like anything in life, healthcare has uncertainties and moments where you do not have the control that you might wish you had. In fact, many times you feel powerless.
Not long ago I read a comment from a good friend who described the hospital experience like this. He said, for him it was a beautiful moment when family placed the care of their loved one into God’s hands, and I thought to myself, that is so true!
The thought came to me again just recently when I found myself the nurse of a patient with a poor prognosis. I think one of the most difficult situations to witness in healthcare is when family must make the decision to withdraw care in the case of inevitable death. The decision to “pull the plug” as it’s frequently called is such a heavy weight on a loved one and why I think putting your wishes in writing is so important. So many times I see the turmoil of family who wants to do what’s best for a patient, but doesn’t want to feel responsible for their demise.
It’s a sad situation no matter how you slice it, but recently I shared something with a family that I think is incredibly poignant. With this family I had developed a good rapport and felt the freedom to share my heart that happened to coincide with my friend’s recent comment. Here’s my take on healthcare.
The medical team has phenomenal resources at our disposal which can turn a bad situation around. We have life-saving medications, evidence-based practice that is proven effective in creating the best outcome, and the technology and expertise to back it all up and be the difference between life and death. I think this knowledge is God-given and I serve mankind in the healthcare field wielding every tool of the trade within my grasp, but in the end I don’t hold the key to life and death. Not really.
I can slam all the epinephrine I want and push out effective CPR in a snap, but I’m no decider of who leaves this world and who stays. I am the hands and feet of Jesus here at the bedside, but in the end it is out of my hands. And it’s out of yours too.
As a family making hard decisions I think it’s important to cut yourself a little slack, and while it’s important to make an informed and logical decision based on the facts, you cannot beat yourself up in worry over making the wrong decision. I just don’t think you can. Just like how I don’t have the power, neither does anyone else, not outside of God’s will anyway. Just my opinion.
I think we all rest in God’s hands. I rest in His protection as I go about my work day, and it’s His voice that whispers to me and guides my decisions. I believe family of critically ill patients to be especially in God’s protective grasp, and I don’t believe they hold the key to life or death anymore than I do. Not really.
I believe that’s a weight lifted for us all, and it’s a good reminder for healthcare in general, from this Christian’s perspective anyway. If a miracle needs to happen then it’s gonna come, and if it’s time to pass from this world, well, it’s time. I don’t think we can fight that. I’ve seen it too many times. You can throw everything at a patient but the kitchen sink, yet if it’s their time to go, they’ll go. Conversely, I’ve seen my fair share of absolute “how in the world did that happen” miracles, and in those cases there’s no one to thank but God.
For me there’s a peace in that, and I hope there is for you too. He’s a good Father, and we are never outside of His loving, watchful eye. No matter how it may feel in the desert places.
1 Chronicles 29:11-12 ESV
Yours, O Lord, is the greatness and the power and the glory and the victory and the majesty, for all that is in the heavens and in the earth is yours. Yours is the kingdom, O Lord, and you are exalted as head above all. Both riches and honor come from you, and you rule over all. In your hand are power and might, and in your hand it is to make great and to give strength to all.
Proverbs 16:9 ESV
The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps.
Psalm 103:19 ESV
The Lord has established his throne in the heavens, and his kingdom rules over all.
Dave Parsons says
The first time I was by someone who died it was my mother! The hospice told us it wasn’t long so about a dozen of us closest to her stood by her bed with me on one side touching her frail body and my sister on the other side doing the same! The most beautiful moment was when she took her last breath and it was as if angels wings fluttered as we could sense the mighty hands of a loving Father gently taking her spirit to be with Him! I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that this woman whom I had heard pray so many times as a little boy, this woman’s hands who had ironed my clothes, made my meals, took me to church, taught others in church about Jesus and cared for so many others over the years was in good hands! It was so much more than what an insurance company wants us to believe about being in good hands with them! This was insurance that only the belief & trust in Jesus could offer! All of us rejoiced at knowing she was with the Lord as well as grieving over losing our mother, grandmother, aunt, sister & friend! God further reassured me when that she was sheltered safe in His arms when I turned on the radio in my truck and instantly a song started playing titled “Sheltered safe within the arms of God”! I burst into praise and rejoicing and made a commitment to God that I was going to open my heart to Him for the remainder of my days on this earth and I have! I’ve failed for sure but always knew I had to confess my sins and grow in Him! I thank God that when wonderful medical professionals like Brie know that they have done the best with what they have at their disposal that there is the One who directs all things and He directs our paths at whatever part of our lives we are living! I will take His insurance any day!
Sandy Winter says
I love your thoughts and the skill you’ve been given to express. As a retired RN, I totally understand and agree.
Sandy Winter
brieann.rn@gmail.com says
Thank you.