I recently decided to watch the latest Nicholas Spark’s movie. My husband was at work, as usual, and it seemed like the perfect time since he didn’t like the sappy love stories anyway. He’s more of an action movie kinda guy.
As I settled into the film I was drawn into the young lovers’ tale. I sat on the edge of my seat wondering if she’d give the tall, dark stranger a chance already, and my heart pitter-patted at their first kiss!
It was so romantic! The excitement was evident when they fell into their first embrace, and as I watched with electric anticipation for the duo, I realized my marriage was not like this scene at all.
For one, the heroine had a taunt, stretch mark free tummy, but that was just for starters. The couple caressed in a steamy shower, and I just kept thinking how we’d never manage to escape from the kids long enough to shower together. Heck, I just wanted a shower for myself without interruption.
But more than anything it was the excitement. The electricity. The palpable vibe that existed between the two lovers on screen. Their desire for one another was crazy, and I whimsically wondered how the woman would manage to get the dishes and laundry done with so many sexual sparks flying around.
I watched the couple as their tempting trounce traveled from the hot bathroom to the even steamier bedroom, and I knew without a doubt that my relationship with my spouse was not like the one on my TV at all. Maybe once upon a time, but not now. Not at all.
As the love story continued on the screen I was surprised to see the physical portion of the romance finally cease. I guess everyone needs a break at some point, and I watched with interest as the storyline continued. And before long of course there was a fight. And after the fight, with lots of tearful words, the couple decided to call it quits. They parted ways, sad music played, and they tried to busy themselves at their respective jobs.
My relationship was definitely not like this. Not at all.
Yes, my husband and I argued. About that there was no doubt. We had major issues in life that tried to rock our happy little boat. We had bills, responsibilities at work, and of course the children. We had disagreements over the way to discipline the kids and even the best way to organize the living room. We had stress, sickness, and reality. But when the going got tough and tears came, we didn’t walk off in the other direction down a long, dark alley. When trouble reared its ugly head my husband didn’t utter, “I just can’t do this anymore, Brie.”
Our relationship isn’t like the movies at all. And thank God for that.
Our relationship wasn’t muddled with uncertainty over our affections. Instead it existed and persisted due to the strong foundation we had created. It was better than any romance movie because when faced with distractions like children and difficulties finding time alone, we got creative. When our circumstances tried to sap the spark out of our marriage we dug deep and made things exciting. And it was perfect.
When a relationship continues past the steamy first sex scenes and moves into a reliable partnership that’s when it gets good. You love someone when their morning breath reeks and their socks litter the floor. You love them when they’re in a bad mood, and when they have a day where they have nothing to give you in return. You have steamy sex scenes even when you don’t necessary feel sexy anymore.
The uncertainty is gone, and it’s replaced with trust and a deep knowledge that you can depend fully on the person beside you despite the problems that may arise.
So even though the shower scenes may not be as plentiful as when you first married, they’re actually more exciting when you finally make them happen. Because you love the person you’re with. Not a silly, romantic movie kind of love, but a real-life, I can count on this guy for anything kinda love.
As the credits rolled at the end of the movie I thought I realized why my husband enjoyed action films. In those types of movies the characters made things happen. They purposefully worked to achieve the results they desired. It sounded a lot like how we worked to make our relationship a happy, productive one.
They fought hard to take care of business, and let nothing stand in the way of what they desired in life. They were active in making things work. I liked that.
And then I realized it; maybe my relationship is like the movies after all.
Paula says
That is so like the way it should be. Love your post. Love you
Barbara Allen says
May the Lord continue to bless you & your family Brie! Love your posts. Your r truly a blessing. Love ME.
brieann.rn@gmail.com says
Thank you so much!
Our lives-His Purposes, Ruthie's impressions says
This is good. thanks
brieann.rn@gmail.com says
Thank you.