I am convinced that the job of parenting is a crazy concoction of terrible moments that make you want to bash your skull against the wall and perfect, beautiful instances that make your heart feel like it will burst right out of your chest.
It’s a messy, awful wonderful.
It’s being so sleep deprived after your newborn’s arrival that you almost don’t even like them. Not even a little.
But then one day you look at their perfect, squishy-fat face, and you realize you have never been more in love.
It’s being so tired and frustrated after another full day of picking up the same messes over and over. So frustrated that you just want your kids to leave you alone and go to sleep.
But then it’s that feeling of overwhelming pride and adoration you feel when you watch them sleep.
You almost want to pick them up, wake them, and tell them how much you love them!
Almost. But not quite.
It’s that relief you experience when your oldest child can finally do something for them-self.
But then that fear and shock that they’re growing so fast that they can finally do something for them-self!
When did she learn to make her own chocolate milk? Where was I?!
It’s the frustration of molars coming in.
Followed the next morning by the most joyful smile you’ve ever seen!
Like it makes you want to be a better person when you look at that face!
It’s the never ending mound of stinky, dirty diapers.
Followed by the monumental and demanding task of potty training.
Followed by the day that you realize they don’t need your help wiping anymore, and surprisingly that makes you want to cry.
It’s that day you look at the enormous pile of laundry you have to fold, and you think to yourself, I will never get this done!
It’s that day your five year old daughter helps you fold laundry, and you laugh silently to yourself at the way she folds shirts. But you beam with pride as she carries her own pile upstairs.
It’s the day you find a tiny baby sock behind the dryer, and you collapse in an unexpected pile of tears because no one’s feet will ever fit in that piece of fuzzy cloth again.
There’s the aggravation of a full sink of dirty dishes.
And there’s the satisfaction when everyone has a “happy plate” after the meal you made.
There’s anger when you step on a Lego, or when you accidentally sit in the bathtub and get accosted by Barbie’s outstretched arm.
There’s joy watching your children unwrap presents on Christmas morning, or the sense of accomplishment and pride when they say excitedly, “oh thank you Mommy. Thank you so much!”
There’s sleepless nights.
But there’s also morning snuggles.
It’s the shrillest cry imaginable.
But it’s also the sweetest rendition of Twinkle Twinkle Little Star you’ve ever heard.
There’s tantrums, tears, and teething.
But there’s also hugs, holding hands, and happy smiles.
There’s spilled juice, spewed food, and snotty noses.
But there’s also hearty giggles, the tickle monster, and bedtime stories.
Sometimes there’s raised voices, stomping feet, and slammed doors.
But there’s also apologies, forgiveness, and warm embraces.
There’s fights over eating your veggies.
But there’s also ice cream dates.
Aren’t those the best?
So you have a messy, cluttered home.
But you also have contented, full hearts.
And then there’s the “I love you’s.” I don’t guess anything trumps those.
It’s true. Nothing compares to the roller coaster ride that is parenting. Up, down. Thrills, chills. Round and round we go.
But when it comes down to it, you never want the ride to end.
Sometimes being a parent is messy and awful.
But then again, it’s simply wonderful.