Today I had the opportunity to do a most marvelous thing. I took a hot shower, and not only did I enjoy the steamy spray, but I also got to stay in its warm embrace for as long as I wanted. Yes, it was dreamy.
My aunt had stayed the night with me, and I thought to myself, this must be what it’s like to have a live-in nanny. I had zero worries that the children would burn the house down in my absence, and thus free I could stay in my bathroom, alone, for as long as my little heart desired. Glory be!
But as I said a little thank you to the good Lord above for a much needed break, I realized my moments of thanksgiving had been farther and fewer in between as of late. Sure, I was still grateful for my family, and I told Him so, but overall I think I had somehow lost it.
For example, just months ago, when I was pregnant , I would roll (literally roll) out of the bed each morning, and the first words to fall from my lips was “thank you.”
Thank you for the good sleep, Lord.
Thank you for my comfy bed, Lord.
Thank you for my home, Lord.
Thank you for the squirming baby in my belly.
But lately my mindset had been one more prone to complaining, one quicker to anger, and certainly slower to say “thank you.”
Lately when I rose from my bed my mind and words were different.
I am so exhausted!
Why can this baby not sleep?!
Oh God, am I a bad mother for thinking I’m too old for this? Did I make a mistake thinking I could care for another child?
I’m a prisoner in my own home.
A lot of my thoughts were self-serving, whoa is me, laments of self-pity. And while the season of life I was transcending was a demanding one, I had almost lost sight of the most important part of it. The gratitude part.
I had lost my thanksgiving.
1 Thessalonians 5:18
Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.
As I stood enjoying my shower I felt a sense of shame over my lack of gratitude. I had been blessed, no doubt, and though my current circumstances were hectic, in the grand scheme of things my heart was as full as my schedule. And that’s never something to complain about.
Sometimes when our children have cried and cried, and every single need has been met, you just have to put them down for a moment and let them cry. My husband calls this “giving them perspective,” because they always are easier to console afterwards.
I suppose sometimes we all need a little perspective, and that’s fine. Cry about it, but then remember how blessed you are. And then regain your thanksgiving.
Ayomipo says
This was helpful. I have also been doing a lot of complaining and mumbling lately because of little inconveniences in spite of so many obvious blessings.