This morning I decided to watch the full Today show interview with Rachel Dolezal. I was curious to hear her side of the story after recent allegations against her. If you’re unfamiliar I’ll briefly summarize by saying this former NAACP chapter president was apparently born of two Caucasian parents, but has spent a large part of her adult life under the title of a black woman. Naturally this has angered many people as they feel she lied to the public at large, and some are even calling this biracial-looking woman a racist.
As I watched the interview it became obvious to me (even if I had not see the very white girl in her teen year photos) that through her evasion of direct questioning and ambiguous answers that this woman wasn’t born African American. She had simply transformed herself to appear that way.
I grew very confused over her continuous use of the word “identified.” Repeatedly she used this word to describe how she had become an apparent black woman. In essence she was not a black woman, but she did identify as one. From what I could gather, and believe me, it was very convoluted, it seemed that the word identify equaled what you wanted to be. Well, if that were the case then I certainly identified as a millionaire.
I was pretty shaken after watching the video clip. Here was a white woman who identified as a black woman, and she had lived as one for many years. She would in fact still be living as one if her Caucasian parents hadn’t let the cat out of the bag. I looked over at my four year old daughter, and I became very worried for her. I was worried for this world she was living in today.
You see, for some time now my daughter has exihibited very distinct traits that identify her as other than a little girl. For over a year now I’ve noticed it, and her father has too. It’s not just the barking. She runs around on all fours, and sometimes she even eats her dinner out of a saucer on the floor. Ms. Dolezal said in her interview that at the age of five she began to draw herself as a black girl, and my daughter draws herself as a canine quite often. I see my child, and I am certain she is identifying as a puppy.
I’m worried because the world is changing. I’ve seen the stories emerging of five year old boys wanting to play with dolls and wear dresses. At such an advanced age their parents are comfortable that they are mature enough to make gender deciding roles, and since they are identifying as a gender other than the one they were born with, then their parents are allowing them to decide. Jimmy is identifying as Julia, so now we all must call him/her Julia. I must now be okay with Jimmy, I mean Julia, using the same restroom as my own daughters who were lucky enough to be born with a vagina already.
I probably wouldn’t have worried about this fifteen or twenty years ago. I mean, we did live in a world then where if you identified as a big-breasted woman instead of an A cup you could take care of that, but otherwise it was pretty taboo to identify outside of your genetic make-up. But now I am raising children in a world of self-gratification where what you want is what you get. The word empowerment is becoming the Holy Grail of today’s language, and everyone wants to feel the right to be who they want to be without discrimination. Women stepping out of roles traditionally held for females are becoming empowered to be their own dominant self. In fact we’re all so busy reading our self-help books and becoming empowered that we’re taking the real power right out of our creator’s hands. We make the decisions, we make it happen. We’re empowered!
In a world where boys can identify as girls and vice-versa, and Caucasians can identify as African Americans simply because they feel that way, they desire to be that way, and not because they were born that way, then why should it sound so ridiculous or far-fetched that I fear my daughter wanting to be a dog. Who’s to say that a well-meaning teacher won’t suggest to me that we take her to counseling to explore her feelings related to species confusion. Perhaps an educated psychologist will suggest that she needs some freedom to decide what kind of creation she wants to be in this life. Maybe she needs to be empowered to make her own decision about whether she identifies better with Homo sapiens or Canines.
I certainly don’t think I’m raising her in a world where we hypothesize that a person’s dissatisfaction with themselves may be based on an injured psyche from childhood, or perhaps even the obvious conclusion that we are all empty human beings searching for a Savior to make us feel complete.
I once knew a man who was a very unhappy individual. At the peak of his discontentment he began searching frantically for how to make himself happy. He quit his job. He moved. He changed his friends. He began to diet, work-out, and cut unhealthy habits from his life. He frequently bought new, stylish clothing. Eventually he even divorced his wife in his search for self-empowerment and the quest to be happy. I often wonder if my ex-husband ever found his joy, but I know if he didn’t finally fill himself with Jesus then he’s likely still searching.
I could be off my rocker, and according to a world where it’s becoming more and more common to identify beyond what God created you to be, then I guess I am. But in my humble opinion I think we will never be happy with who we are until we’re happy with who God made us to be. I don’t ever think we’ll truly feel empowered until we understand the power really rests in God’s hands. We can read every self-help book available, but until we allow Jesus to help us we will fail over and over again.
In reality my daughter is no more a dog than I’m an African American, male millionaire, but we do find our true power in our absolute inheritance. We find our joy, peace, and feeling of belonging as princesses under the rule of the One True King. For many people who read this that last comment may sound as silly to them as my worrying that my daughter is identifying as a puppy, but I can tell you this. In my experience no peace compares to that of accepting your status as a child of God, and no feeling of belonging and identification compares to it. And I guess with that in mind you can understand that I’m not really worried at all.
Elizabeth says
Beautiful! I can’t tell you how happy I am to have stumbled upon your fabulous blog. You nailed it. Your fears are valid. I am a masters level counselor currently taking a break from counseling clients in a clinical setting for my own self care reasons. So I really understand the importance and necessity of validation. The population I counseled was primarily borderline personality disordered and one common trait they all seemed to share was being brought up in an invalidating home. Heck, I did myself! Parents do the best they can but they have only what tools they were given as children themselves. Your blog post here is not far fetched. It’s visionary. Good on you! Thanks for posting.
brieann.rn@gmail.com says
Thank you!
Sue Dye says
I personally identify as a size 8 30-yr old.
brieann.rn@gmail.com says
You’re certainly entitled to it. Work it!
Emily says
❤️❤️❤️
brieann.rn@gmail.com says
Thank you.
April Vanderford says
Love, love, love this!! I wish it could magically appear on every FB page in this crazy, mixed up world! So many need to hear this truth.
brieann.rn@gmail.com says
Thank you so much!
meltedflowers says
I love the things you write……that being said…I hope I do not offend you if I disagree slightly…on one thing…not of course that nature of your fears, that I agree with..but I ha e a different view for different reasons…(please read to the end I have a.point…i promise..) my life and background has led me to this point …and I value you and what you say……I just want to.make.one point please allow me to. You see…my first issue is with the parents if the woman…what baffles me is why they point fingers at their daughter when their.son has molested children and.is.currently incarcerated. ….second…the father has many charges against him over the years….they are not what you would call upstanding honest law abiding citizens…am I saying she was taught no better..No..wait…there is a point..hear me out please…. she got custody of her sibling…one of the what was it five black kids adopted by the so called parents….she then is also married and has born children…. she raises at least one of her adopted black siblings and do they even still have any others..that I do not know..but I can say they lost custody of at least one…raised by this woman who identified black now….her parents are my point…. also how do we know there is no black in her..I have black in me however I am mostly Irish and Cherokee…if I wanted I can give up American citizen ship and live as a native American ..I have enough documented Indian blood in me to do so…yet my skin is “white” …….my body appears slightly African American…and my bone structure does not quite hold to.true Caucasian build…… but I say I am white…why…because I appear white..am I white…define white.. (“a mixture of all frequencies of the light of the visible spectrum”) so perhaps white..is all colors?…..if I was her and had parents like her..(oh wait I did) I would uproot..change my name and all ties..(I did) I would even be a different color if I could…thought about it…..but I took the easy way..I ran away…young adult life of sorrow, drugs, drank like a fish to forget. Then applied logic…turned to hate…many years went by before I found God..which is the only true source of happiness…..how can we say all are equal when we still say white, black or what…there is no color..only human…this is only a body. I am not white, Indian or black, I am a child of God..I identity as what I am inside..not as I am perceived. My point is I empathize with that woman..I understand. She became black… I don’t care..I became a whole different person to… I know that is I was ever in the spotlight perhaps “they” would say..oh..she is an oops child…she was the.product of a mentally unstable woman..her mother did this to her..she was locked in this closet for this many days…she was stabbed here…see the scar? She was born with this name….she is tainted…..see I cannot judge..in a way I hide too..restraining orders only hold out so long….changing your name only does so much… would I have done what she did..No..but not because I am good..but because I am a coward…. that woman did a lot of good as a black woman…as a white one she was in fear….
My point is this….there is no need to fear as long as you love your children. If you don’t hurt them..if they do not cry each night from nightmares from something from their childhood still twenty years later. …if you love and teach and protect then you do not need to worry about what the world does or says…because it can’t hurt them..God protects them…..so rest easy and put it into His hands..we are not here to judge or harm..but to show the love that was once shown us..and if they see that love reflected through the eyes of a caring mother..then there is nothing they cannot handle. You do well, you have a strong moral ethic and you have a loving heart. You write well…and most importantly you love your family..so because of that…there is no need to worry about what people do or don’t do. I hope my long winded comment was not offensive. Thank you for your blog, and I respect you and the options and thoughts that you write about.
brieann.rn@gmail.com says
Not offensive at all, although I’m still trying to figure out exactly what you disagreed with me about. Lol. My post wasn’t really about Rachel D. It was about the bottom line that all of us human beings long for a Savior, no matter how we identify. Thanks for commenting and reading as always.
meltedflowers says
🙂 <3 <3 🙂 <3 <3 🙂
Ashleigh says
Beautiful as always. What aggravates me the most about all of it is just a couple weeks ago we had Bruce Jenner, a 60 something year old man with children, decide to become a woman. Because he always felt like that. So many have deemed him a hero and say “you have to do what makes you happy”. However now, with this woman, it’s a different tune. Why does she not deserve the same respect that transgender people do? It’s a crazy mixed up world.
brieann.rn@gmail.com says
Yes, it is.