It’s funny to me how you can get comfortable in your own little existence. You take for granted how simple life is, and when confronted with the complexities and intricacies of factors outside of your control you can really be rocked to the core. And so it has been in the last 24 hours for me.
I was innocently enjoying a quiet evening at home, mindlessly scrolling through my Facebook feed when I was first intruded upon by the wolf in sheep’s clothing, this seemingly innocent post that would end up causing me to question everything I thought I knew about life.
At first I ignored it in my hurried perusal of social media, this picture of an atrocious fashion faux pas. I mean seriously, I was too busy looking for hilarious videos of laughing babies to pause in my scroll for a hideous dress. But it wouldn’t stop there. It couldn’t be that easy.
Suddenly my visual field was assaulted by repeated images of a linen and lace garment, and try as I might to resist it’s pull I was unsuccessful. After all a human can only avoid temptation for so long, and the obvious interest exhibited by others convinced me that a deeper look into the mystery of the dress was warranted. It was seriously shared by all my friends; I was kinda powerless at that point.
So I fell for the bait, and oh my did I fall hard. It was obvious to me right away that the dress was white and gold, but I’ll admit my intrigue that other friends were strongly certain it was blue and black. I was dumbfounded. Were they blind?!!
I was reeled into comment threads, wondering how in the world it could be two things at once, and I ingested the conspiracy theories of others like a ravenous dog. I had to know how it did it!
When my husband came home naturally I was on the edge of my seat eager to display this fascinating phenomenon to the man I loved, but it would be at this moment when my world started to crumble underneath me.
He thought it was blue and black.
How could he? I wondered. I couldn’t fathom how the man I trusted with my heart could betray me on such a personal level. I couldn’t understand why he couldn’t see things my way! And worse yet, when I told him I saw white and gold he scoffed, “what are you crazy?”
I struggled to understand how my life could be crumbling right in front of my light-sensitive eyes, and I grappled for someone, anyone to support me in this clothing/optical dilemma. I reached hungrily for the only person I could find. My four year old.
“What color is this dress baby?” I asked my loving offspring.
Her answer pierced my heart like a saber, “it’s blue and black.”
My cruel spouse laughed manically, and his insensitivity turned the sword deeper into my soul. I lashed out, “she doesn’t even know her colors that well!” But inside I felt fear eating away at me. What was wrong with my child?! It was white and gold; why couldn’t they see?! I waged war with the inner turmoil of my soul.
I tried to let it go. It was the only thing I knew to do in my pain and feelings of betrayal, but it was impossible. Everywhere the pictures of this evil dress prevailed, and just when I didn’t think it could get any worse; it did.
My soul weeps with the memory.
I’m still uncertain of what evil witchery brought this to pass, but suddenly I began to question self. Everything I ever thought I knew was proving false. I felt as if life as I knew it had been altered, convoluted, and then flashed maliciously before my very eyes.
Suddenly, without explanation, every image I saw of this awful dress was blue and black. It was blue and black I tell you!
It was a cruel awakening to which I was ill prepared, and the idea that life could change so quickly and unexpectedly filled me with a sense of insecurity. If this could happen, then what of the rest of my life that seemed so certain.
I wondered, what if the world is really flat? In my hurt and confusion I asked myself, did we really walk on the moon? Was it all smoke and mirrors, an optical illusion, a trick of the mind?!
Honestly, I’m still reeling from it all. Being alone isn’t helping any. Following our heated argument my husband packed a bag and left. He even took the girls, stating, “if you can’t admit it’s blue and black then how can I trust you with our children?!”
He’s right, I suppose, and as I sit here in the corner, naked, unbathed, and rocking back and forth I continue to question my sanity. I’m frightened by the voices I hear whispering, blue, black, white, gold, and then I realize the utterings are coming from me.
I wish I could unsee that terrible dress, but alas I cannot. It haunts me still.
Blue, black, white, gold.
ruthiespage says
I only saw blue and black, and have tried to see the white and gold. thank you for the pic on your blog, now I know what it would look like in white and gold! this is crazy stuff!! i just hope that the United Nations will make a ruling on this and let the rest of us know for certain what color this stupid dress is!!!!
brieann.rn@gmail.com says
We can only hope for a timely resolution.
Beth Mone says
You’re husband Left You Telling You He Couldn’t Trust You with Your Children Because You Saw The Dress As White And Gold??? Sounds Like You Have A Bigger Problem Than The Color Of That Dress. He’s A Loser.
brieann.rn@gmail.com says
sat·ire (săt′īr′)
n.
1.
a. A literary work in which human foolishness or vice is attacked through irony, derision, or wit.
b. The branch of literature constituting such works.
2. Irony, sarcasm, or caustic wit used to attack or expose human foolishness or vice.
Beth Mone says
Your Point?
brieann.rn@gmail.com says
Never mind. Thank you for brightening up my day.
Matt Tipton says
I imagine not being able to recognize satire is worse than any colorblindness
brieann.rn@gmail.com says
I would have to agree!
Brandy says
Haha! This is funny. It really has messed with my mind. I feel like I’m going to be the woman rocking in the corner!! I saw it first as gold and white then later and every since it’s been black and blue!!! My husband and daughter only saw gold and white.
Christy says
My daughter started the black/blue white/gold debate at our house. She was only seeing it in white/gold and could not understand why so many of her friends were seeing it in blue/black. When she asked me what color the dress was it was clearly black/blue. Then her brother agreed with me and said black/blue. Her dad was the only one left and he saw it as white/gold. So, our house is divided 50/50 between what color that stupid dress is, haha!!. I did read some really good (and some really funny) reasons via twitter on why people see it differently. PS Love reading your post everyday!!
brieann.rn@gmail.com says
I guess we’re all a house divided. Lol. Thanks so much for reading along!
Marieca Lambert says
Bahahahaha, Brie you crack me up.
brieann.rn@gmail.com says
I aim to please.
meltedflowers amy garren says
You took my very thoughts…action for action..thought for thought. Lol…that dress was white….then it was blue…funny how.our brain tries.to fill in what we “know”‘
…..btw…the moon thing? I’m too old to belie ‘ve in make believe lol
shane says
No way……..We’ve landed on the moon!
brieann.rn@gmail.com says
I’m skeptical…
Stacy Gist says
Ha! Love the satire, and I see white/gold and DH says black/blue the 2 year old just says I duh no!!..
Clearly house divided!
brieann.rn@gmail.com says
Thanks! I’m not sure homes will ever be the same after this.
Jenna Sheffield says
Absolutely hilarious, hands down. And even more so? Some of the comments! Ahhh, the awkward moment when your sarcasm is so advanced that people take you seriously. But I digress, great post. 🙂
brieann.rn@gmail.com says
Thank you. 😉
bet says
You’re correct…I didn’t recognize your satire otherwise I would never insult your apparently lovely husband. I apologize. To be honest, now I don’t know how much of your blog is heartfelt and how much is cheeky. I was under the impression your blog was of a different nature. I certainly “get” a joke, I was just concerned for you. Sorry.
brieann.rn@gmail.com says
Ahh sweetie, don’t apologize. Now I feel bad. It’s ok. Most of my other posts are heartfelt. This one just happened to be all sarcasm, and if you don’t know me then that could be easy to miss. If you want I can remove your previous comments. You just let me know. Again, no apology necessary; I was never offended.
Beth Mone says
Oh Goodness No! Don’t Remove It…. It’s funny! (No Idea Why My Phone Is all Caps) I’m Just Happy You Were Being Sarcastic. I Thought Otherwise And Was Sad For you.
brieann.rn@gmail.com says
Thank you Beth.