I’ve always enjoyed the desires of my heart, the little dreams I hold close to my chest. I’ve always felt like God places the seeds of these dreams within us where they may grow until fruition. And in the circumstances when they do not come to pass thankfully they tend to wilt and wither, leaving behind just enough of a spark to help your next dream grow.
It’s nice to have something to think about, and to pray about. My dreams are like tiny trinkets kept in a box. I take them out occasionally and polish them. As I look at my precious dreams in the safety box of my heart I place them before The Lord, and I seek His voice for what may come of them.
Sometimes I put them back in the box, and while that’s a difficult thing to do I do it with joy. Well, as much joy as one can have when they wait anyway. But still, I trust God as I pack away my dreams because even though I cannot see how they will end I know they’re there. They’re in a box, but it’s a box of promises, and because of my faith I trust God keeps them there for a reason. It’s hard, but it’s kind of easy too. Because of hope.
But sometimes I take my dreams out and I lay them on a shelf, out in the open. I see signs I imagine are from The Lord, and maybe they are, but I get pretty excited to cash in on God’s promises for my future. Or what I believe His promises to be.
Hearing God’s voice is a tricky thing, and it’s easy to be driven by emotion and not guided by the Spirit. Sometimes I reckon I’ve heard God wrong so many times I wonder why I even try to listen, and when disappointment falls on me it falls hard. So dang hard.
It’s easier to trust God in the waiting time, but when the time finally comes, but comes in the form of a “no,” well, that’s the real test. It’s easy to trust God when you still have your dream. It’s a little bit harder when it crashes to the floor.
Some dreams are little, and some are a bit bigger, but the tears fall the same when they break.
A dream of a big family, or a dream of a big house. A dream of a new career, or the dream of a career period. Dreams of healing, and dreams of change. Dreams of God’s calling on your life fulfilled. Tiny trinkets swept off the shelf, and placed back in their felt-lined box, waiting to come true, or to change into something else. This is hard, but it seems a bit more difficult when you see your dream coming true.
The excitement builds, emotions rise, and then the door slams in your face. Hard. It might just get your fingers or your toes in the process.
As you lay weeping in your hurt you’re overcome by guilt. But I trust God! It’s not supposed to hurt when I trust God, right?!
Knowing God is in control, and believing He holds your life in His hand is easy while you dream. Continuing to trust Him as the dream is ripped from your grasp? Well, that’s the hard part. And even as the tears fall you whisper “I trust you Father; I trust you.”
Hurts doesn’t it?
Isaiah 58:11 ESV
And the Lord will guide you continually and satisfy your desire in scorched places and make your bones strong; and you shall be like a watered garden, like a spring of water, whose waters do not fail.
Trust is a continuing, ever-evolving, strengthening process. I suppose it could never deepen if it was not tested.
So I say, thank you Lord for testing me. I trust you Father; I trust you. Even in the midst of disappointment, I trust you. I’ll put it back in the box, and I’ll wait for your will. And even if it stays in the box forever, I’ll be happy trusting you.
Denise says
This reminds me of a homily I once heard.
” Hope is the radical refusal to set limits. “. Seems like that thought fits well into this blog. Hope is a vital element of our faith. I can’t imagine my life without my faith… my hope… my God. He gives me strength against adversity and hope for my future. How lost those who don’t have hope and faith must be
.. And not even know it.