*Be forewarned. This is a post by a nurse speaking honestly about her feelings and her profession. It’s not to hurt feelings or anger anyone. Rather it’s written for nurses with the hope that a camaraderie forged over shared emotions may lift the spirits of my coworkers everywhere. Every day isn’t a good day, and that’s okay. You are allowed to take your wings off sometimes.
I recently had a bad day. It was one of those days where everything goes wrong at once, and even little things seem like big things. There’s no light at the end of the tunnel, and there seems no reprieve for the downhill slide your shift has taken.
On this particular day I was not alone in my angst, and as I sat down for an uber-late lunch, sucking down delivery chicken wings with my cohorts I listened to their comments, and I was relieved. Thank God it’s not just me I thought, and I was honestly at ease that I wasn’t the only one ready to pop.
Like an overinflated balloon I had reached my point. I could stretch no further, and it’s during those moments of stress and frustration that a nurse feels their lowest. Thoughts of surrender and desperation come to mind, and you call into question what you do. You wonder if you can come back, and you wonder if you even want to.
You might have one of these five thoughts pass through your brain, even if only for a moment.
1. I picked the wrong career. Some days you’re just certain you made the wrong career choice, and you ask, “what was I thinking?!”
When your patient is coding five minutes into the door, and especially if they don’t pull through, you think it.
When you get yelled at for doing your job, when you’re short staffed (again), or when you cannot finish a single thing, you question your vocation.
When you’re staying three hours past your shift to chart, or when another mandatory class is due, you wonder if you made the right choice.
When you are your worst critic, and you feel like you just can’t do this job like it should be done, you question yourself. You ask, “am I really cut out for this?”
2. I’m stuck. Sometimes you feel stuck. On those days when everything is going wrong, and you do not want to return, you know that you will. You’ll be back. You have obligations not only to your family and yourself, but also to your patients, your organization, and the profession as a whole. You feel an allegiance, and sometimes that makes you feel like you couldn’t leave if you wanted to. Even if money allowed.
3. I’m not a people person. There’s this weird thing about nursing. You are bound to care for the physical needs of another, but then you are also required to care for their personal, emotional needs. And usually that’s not a big deal. Except when it is.
Just like waiting tables, in life there are bad customers. Bad customers get sick too, but you care for them just like you do your good customers. And you don’t spit in their soup.
Nursing is an introvert’s nightmare, but even if you’re “not a people person,” you figure it out. You communicate effectively, even when it’s not reciprocated. You are kind, even when you don’t want to be. When insults are thrown upon you, you turn the other cheek. Literally. Then you wipe it.
It’s not always easy being kind, compassionate, and caring to people who curse you, hit you, lie to you, and threaten litigation, yet you are. But your obligation doesn’t make it enjoyable or any less vexing. Mean people are mean no matter where you work, but they seem to be even uglier when they don’t feel well. True story.
4. The bad days outweigh the good. Everyone knows that nurses have bad days, but it’s always the reprieve of the good ones that bring balance back to things. The problem is there are more bad days than good. Overall the stressful, chaotic, cry-worthy days are many more than the smooth, good days.
Yet, despite that, somehow one good moment will make it all okay. One “thank you” or one hug makes the bad days fade into the background. They’re still there, and they still exceed the the good days, but somehow the sting of the massive bad is made less by one, tiny good thing. It’s really weird.
5. I wouldn’t suggest pursuing a career in nursing. That sounds so harsh, but I think of my daughters. While I am honored to be a part of my field, and I’m proud of it, I’m just not sure if I would suggest or encourage my girls following in my footsteps.
I don’t know if I want them to be so close and personal to the pain of losing a life, or to feel the responsibility of making another person well.
And though I know already that they have the heart for it, I hate to see those same hearts broken over the downfalls that come with the job.
As it stands nurses are left knowing that they love the profession, and feel honored to be a part of it when it comes down to it. But in those moments when they don’t feel all warm and fuzzy they are left feeling like a failure. A failure to their calling.
There seems to be this expectation that nurses should remain happy, resilient, and completely satisfied with everything on a daily basis. After all, it’s their job! Not many other jobs seem to be held to such an unrealistic expectation. Naturally, when a nurse misses the mark on being perfect they feel as if they’ve fallen flat.
When thoughts of discontentment come a nurse is left feeling less than what he/she thinks is expected, and those feelings are buried in favor of nursing pride. It’s easy and supported to be a fulfilled nurse, but on the days when you’re not, you’re just not.
I don’t think having a bad day makes you a bad nurse, just as having a good day doesn’t make you a better one. Having moments where you throw your hands up, and in essence are discontent, I think these are normal. You are normal, and so am I.
Being happy with your vocation is easy. Continuing to be a good nurse on the days you aren’t happy is another. It’s actually outstanding and commendable my friends. So hang in there. After all, there’s always the good days.
Tracy says
Thank you!!!!
brieann.rn@gmail.com says
You’re welcome. Thank you!
Cathy says
Once again, you got it exactly right. Thank you. You are an amazing nurse, and person.
brieann.rn@gmail.com says
Thank you so much.
Pam says
wow, couldn’t have said it better myself. And like you, I never would want any of my kids to go into nursing. I think in the future with all the government penalties/cutbacks/lower reimbursements, it will only get worse. Also, it seems universal everywhere that families of pts are getting more and more demanding and abusive 🙁
mary says
Kudos! We give our ALL during our “shift”. 12 hours, sometimes w/o a break. Because we love what we do. We have great working relationships with our coworkers, and physicians. We pull together in the “tough” moments, ALL for the benefit of our patients. Yet, when some unmerited complaint surfaces, All that is lost in the eyes of our managers. It is SAD. When we are repeatedly told that NURSING is one of the most respected professions. Nurses are expressing their frustration with the current “system” of practice. The non-support and loss of backbone from management. Nurses continue to come to work with a smile on their face and concern in their hearts for their patients. We don’t need the constant nagging and anxiety about PG scores, but seek acknowledgement from management for a job WELL DONE!
claire says
Really, thank you! I had that day this weekend!!
Tammy Purdie says
Fantastic! !!!!
brieann.rn@gmail.com says
Thank you.
Becca RN says
It is such a blessing to know someone else feels the same way! Thank you so much for writing this!
brieann.rn@gmail.com says
Thank you!
Jasmine says
Thank you so much for your post!!
brieann.rn@gmail.com says
Thank you!
Vicki Foster says
Beautifully written! After twenty five years of nursing, I still have those days, and doubts.
brieann.rn@gmail.com says
Thank you.
Vicay Sarabia says
With all honesty, nursing is one if not the most neglected profession in world. Especially here in my country, Philippines. It’s disheartening how the community takes very little regard of the profession. Our government not giving the just compensation for our services and yet they expect so much from us. But still I take pride of all the nurses around the world, who despite all the negatives brought by this profession,is still doing their best in taking care of those in need. Kudos to all Nurses. Heroes anonymous!
Jennifer Napier says
I have 20yrs I the profession and I considered it my calling….you hit the nail on the head…thank you so much
brieann.rn@gmail.com says
Thank you.
Nina, RN says
You are so on point! I’ve thought every one of these at least once over my 10+ years in ER nursing. I love my profession but sometimes I hate it. It truly is a calling and no amount of money would change that.
brieann.rn@gmail.com says
Thank you.