Dear Single Ladies Looking for Love,
First off I want to apologize. I’m pretty sure you’re sick and tired of unsolicited love advice, but rest assured that’s not what I want to do. I don’t want to tell you what you should do, or even what you shouldn’t. Rather I want to warn you to be careful what you wish for.
If you’re content with your life as a single lady then stop reading now. This letter is not for you. No, this note is for the women who find themselves longing for a mate. This is for the ladies searching for their very own Prince Charming.
I have some news for you. I truly believe God has someone for you. I believe your prince will come. But I must tell you this. Once you find your prince, well, then the fairy tale is over!
You have no doubt heard the advice to find a man who looks beyond outward appearances, and to marry the man who looks at your heart. You know you are supposed to find that fella who loves you for you.
Well, here’s the thing they don’t tell you. While it might take a while, and it will definitely take a lot of prayerful consideration, patience, and selective reasoning, you will eventually find a man who loves you for your heart rather than your pants size. But then life will happen.
While you experience the joys of childbirth and first time home ownership, you will also experience late mortgage payments and sick kids. You’ll get the flu, and hate the way your husband leaves his dirty clothes thrown all over the house. Your parents will grow ill, and they will one day die. Hormones will shift, and toothpaste remnants left in the sink will make you want to slit throats.
Your spouse will love you for you, but one day you will be completely unlovable. You’ll mess up, say things you don’t really mean, and be so angry that you might not even care.
Those cute, little idiosyncrasies that seemed so harmless while you dated will be magnified in the face of lost jobs and a house-full overcome by the stomach virus. The fun of making up after a vehement fight won’t be a passionate experience anymore. It will just seem like a hassle when kids have homework and your alarm is set for 4am.
When it gets real, and you are confronted with the mess that life can be when two separate individuals attempt living as one, then you will understand that no one human being can ever really and truly love you for you! They cannot because you’re an awful mess. Heck, we all are. And when your Prince Charming sees the real, unlovable side to you the birds will stop singing, and the storybook happily ever after will be put to the test.
No one can love you for you, and if that’s what you’re looking for then your story might not have a good ending. So what ever can you do?
You could start by looking for a man who loves Jesus, a man who serves The Lord. The only one you will find who loves you for you, like honestly loves you for you is Christ. Find a man who can love his wife like Christ loves the church, and then you can think about a marriage that stands the test of time.
You will never find the perfect husband. I hate to say this, but it’s true. You will never locate a man who can overlook the ugly things about you, because sometimes often times things get pretty ugly in the real world of a committed relationship. But you can find a man who loves Jesus, and that’s a heck of a start.
Job security is lovely, and a mature, commitment to bettering oneself is wonderful, but unless he can put himself, and even you second then it doesn’t much matter. When a man can search his heart seeking God’s will for your lives then a happily ever after is definitely in the cards. In fact it’s promised in eternity.
A marriage covenant is not easy, and committing to stand beside another imperfect person is more than you could ever imagine. Even unconditional love is tested on the turbulent seas of adversity born of strife.
Also important is this. When you get hit in the face with the reality of it all, and the loving is not always easy, remember what brought you together. Don’t give the little things precedence, but rather focus on the positive attributes of your mate. In other words, forget the smelly socks, and thank God for his work ethic.
In the beginning I told you this was a warning, and in a way it is. Maybe it’s a bit of advice thrown in too. Now you have been warned that dreams can come true, but they’re not always easily achieved. But also remember that the greatest dreams are worth fighting for.
You can find your prince, and though it will be far from a fairy tale, you can find your happily ever after. Especially if you base your story on a firm foundation that no man can put asunder.
Sincerely,
A Joyful Wife