My husband and I recently celebrated our fifth wedding anniversary. As the date swiftly approached I knew that such a milestone was deserving of something special.
A date night, dinner perhaps? I wondered, but I knew that we needed more than just a couple of hours over a nice steak. We needed something beyond that.
It was at this point I realized we needed to spend the night away from home, and more importantly away from our children. And as I toyed with the idea of a night away in my mind I was astonished that we hadn’t done it before.
You see we had never spent the night away from our kids. Not even once since our first daughter’s arrival over four years ago. And I couldn’t for the life of me even tell you why.
When I became a mother my life changed so drastically. I became the kind of woman I always hoped I could be. Suddenly I felt responsible for another life, and the magnitude of the job at hand shook me from the bottom up. I was a mother.
It changed my husband also, and although he had a child from a previous marriage when he held our daughter I saw his face change, his whole countenance transformed. He was a father.
After minimal discussion concerning an overnight getaway this mom and dad decided it was time. Overdue in fact, and as I sat alone with my husband I realized how I had overlooked my relationship with him. I hadn’t neglected it per say, but I had forgotten we were so much more than our shared parenthood implied.
As we sat together in bed, holding hands in our robes, we watched a movie in absolute silence. The fact that no one interrupted, made noise, or climbed into our laps did not escape me. And as I looked at my very relaxed spouse I realized he was much more than just the father to my children. He was my husband first, and also my very best friend.
Somewhere in the five years since we had said “I do” he had assumed the title of Daddy, and even though that was an appropriate and honorable role the fact remained that he was so much more.
I too was more than Mommy, and even though it was one of the loftiest titles I had ever received the truth was that before I was a mom I was a wife. As I gazed over at my man beside me I realized that was the role that meant the most to me.
I was afraid that somewhere along the way I might have alluded to my spouse that my role of a parent took precedence when in all reality my role as my partner’s best friend still held the top spot on my list of what was important. I could see where it might have appeared otherwise.
After all it was our first night away in over four years. It was our first night where we had let go of the title “mom and dad” for just a little while, and although we were still parents to three beautiful girls, in that moment alone it was like we were just a couple again. We ditched the kids for the day, and you know what? Nobody died. They were just fine in fact.
What did happen was this. I realized I was more than Mom, and my husband realized he was more than Dad. We were as we had always been, husband and wife. Best friends dependent on one another to be even better at the other roles life threw our way. We were a couple deserving of being alone, of being reminded how very special and sacred our time with one another was. It was paramount actually, and I’m a bit bereaved that it took us so long to figure that out.
When we returned to our children it was with a renewed vigor, and as we held hands to pick up our darlings I felt the blooming current of our affections coursing throughout our every action. I smiled in the knowledge that it wouldn’t take five years before we took time apart again. Not. At. All.