I am prepared that this post might not settle well with some people, and it might even offend a few more. That’s never my intention, but this subject is something I feel strongly about, and I was driven to share. I needed to tell you why I would make the decision to not kill myself.
The purpose of this post is driven in regards to a story that’s been making the social media circuits of a young woman by the name of *Brittany Maynard. Mrs. Maynard has Glioblastoma, a very aggressive form of brain cancer, and her prognosis is poor. In fact she will die sooner rather than later according to medical experts.
She recently came forward with her decision to end her own life, on her own terms, and at a time of her choosing. Right after her husband’s birthday. She is being assisted by a physician in the state of Oregon where assisted suicide is legal. Actually they term it “death with dignity.”
My first thought when I read the article that detailed her story was no!! But then I stopped, and I tried to place myself in her shoes. And the point of this post is not to point a finger at Mrs. Maynard, and list the ways I may think she is wrong. Not at all. I admire her for sharing her personal story with the world, and I grieve with her for the loss of life here on this earth, especially at such a young age.
No, I couldn’t tell her what was the right decision for her, and I couldn’t assume I knew exactly what she was going through when she made what I can only imagine was the most difficult decision of her life.
See I don’t have cancer, or any other life-threatening illness. And while I have lost a close uncle to brain cancer, and watched his life up until the end, I haven’t had to sit down with my spouse, like Mr. Maynard did, and make the tough decisions.
I am a Registered Nurse, and I have worked in the field of Hospice. I found it truly rewarding in fact. I have taken care of patients with her exact diagnosis, and the one I remember the most is the hardest.
A feeding tube placed prior to being enrolled in Hospice made his time draw on longer than it probably should have, and I can only imagine the pain his family felt every day watching him die. Especially when the swelling in his brain caused his eyes to protrude from his head, and actually congeal.
I don’t go into such detail to offend his memory, or to cause my readers undue distress, but only to point out that I have seen the suffering first hand. I will add that most cases of Glioblastoma don’t reach that point.
But like I said, I can’t say what Mrs. Maynard should do as I am not her, and though I sympathize I wouldn’t be so daft as to proclaim on a public forum what another human being should decide.
I can only speak for myself.
And though I am not in her situation I can strongly and definitively say what I would do, what decision I would make. It would not be the same choice she has made, and I will tell you why.
I used to be a very frightened, anxious person. I worried about things, and I feared the unknown. I didn’t want to think about the deaths of people I held dear, and certainly not my own.
I was like a young girl looking off her front porch, and I could only see as far as my eyesight would allow. I couldn’t see the storm that was approaching, and I certainly couldn’t see the rainbow that would develop after it passed.
In fact, I couldn’t see beyond the grand field in front of me, and though the rolling plains of wildflowers were so beautiful, greater than anything I could have imagined; I did not see the crystal clear, sparkling ocean view that was just over the hill at the end of my visual field.
When I met Christ this changed. It didn’t change all at once mind you. It was a long, drawn-out process, and it continues even now. As my relationship with The Lord developed, and was cultivated by my faith I began to see things from His perspective. I began to see things from a Kingdom perspective.
I stopped being so afraid. I ceased to fear the unknown because I knew there was no unknown to my Savior. My story was already written, and though I didn’t know the end, I could take comfort that He did. My King who loved me so much that He died for me; He knew it all.
I still experience fear. Christianity isn’t a magic spell that banishes all icky feelings here on this earth. No. It just makes it a whole lot easier to endure.
I don’t fear death, and I’m not saying Mrs. Maynard does, but my lack of fear in this regard is why I would choose to live. I would live as little or as long as my God willed me to.
I don’t fear the death of those I love. And while their passing would rip my heart in two with grief, I would take comfort in knowing I will see them again.
My belief in Heaven, and in eternity conquers any fear of death. And although pain and suffering may come, I truly believe it will be short in duration when compared to an infinity at my Savior’s side.
I wouldn’t choose to do things my own way. I would choose to do things God’s way. I make this same choice every day, but if confronted with the difficult choice of ending my suffering on earth by my own hands, or instead trusting my God that His purposes are true; I would choose God’s way every time. And twice on Sunday.
Some people will read this and think I’m full of it, or that I’m delusional. I am not. I am at peace.
I trust in God’s plans for my family and myself, and this faith makes every day I live on this cruel earth a little easier.
Death has no real sting when viewed through the eyes of eternity. Our time here is short, and we are just passing through, preparing our souls for an eternity with God.
Whether God chooses to take me quickly in my sleep, or if my time of death will be longer, harder, and more painful; the outcome will be the same. I will wake up next to Jesus, and it will be glorious.
When you make the decision to follow Christ you also make the decision to trust His plan for your life. And your death. You make the decision to remember it is only an earthly death, and you will in fact live forever.
I honestly hope Brittany Maynard changes her mind. I hope she will draw her strength from The Lord, and not from the empowerment of calling the shots in how the end plays out. Because I believe she will only find true peace, and true freedom from the fear of death by placing her life in His hands, and trusting that His ways are so much higher than our ways.
Sometimes we are all like the little girl who cannot see beyond the field in her front yard. We cannot see the glorious beauty that is just beyond our sight.
Faith allows you to trust what you cannot understand, to surrender what is out of your control, and true contentment is found in letting go.
Even when you cannot see.
*I apologize if I misinterpreted any of the facts in the case of Brittany Maynard. I got my information from news stories I have seen. I would certainly never assume I know the entire story, or what she is dealing with. This post is meant as an opinion piece, and what I would do if in a similar situation. And yes, I’m certain of my decision.
Danny says
Well said Brie. My salvation was instant when I asked Christ into my heart. I have been blessed to have lived long enough to grow and mature as a Christian. There is such comfort in not fearing death. What a friend we have in Jesus.
brieann.rn@gmail.com says
Thank you Danny. Blessed assurance came to mind.
bhoyle says
Brie, I agree with you.
brieann.rn@gmail.com says
Thank you for commenting.
jessica Whitman says
I am so glad you shared this! Maybe it will touch someone to turn to Jesus!
brieann.rn@gmail.com says
Thank you.
Heather says
I have long wanted to find the right words to explain why I am against euthanasia/assisted suicide. I am also a nurse and a Christian. It changes everything when you have the everlasting love of Christ in your life and it’s all about Him and His perfect timing. God Bless
brieann.rn@gmail.com says
Thanks so much for commenting.
Megan Easley-Walsh says
Good post, Brie. Also, it’s important to remember that just because a doctor says someone has X months left, it doesn’t mean that’s true. This man in Greece was told by American doctors that he had 9 months left. That was in 1976 and he’s still alive. http://www.nytimes.com/2012/10/28/magazine/the-island-where-people-forget-to-die.html?pagewanted=all
brieann.rn@gmail.com says
Very true. So very true. Thanks.
jennifer smith says
I agree With her decision. Just my choice. I don’t wanna go through the suffering, but my main reason, I don’t want my family to have to see it. Just my opinion!
brieann.rn@gmail.com says
Thank you for sharing.
Laurel says
Thank you for this, I have been searching for a counter argument for a few days. I agree that this is not a matter to which she should have control of… My 61 year old mother is suffering with this same cancer (glioblastoma). SUFFERING. She has no quality of life anymore. She is bedridden – unable to do things for herself anymore. In copious amounts of pain at times and suffers seizures upon exertion (ie; sitting up) She was diagnosed in Feb of 2013 but has been in this condition for 10 months now. She hangs on to see her daughters marry and her grandkids grow day by day. She was an RN of 30 years before being diagnosed. She has cared for patients with this exact diagnosis… she knew what was coming and still took it head on – for the love of life.
Watching the video of this woman (who appears to be in much better shape than my mother), waste what’s left of her life because she wants to avoid suffering makes me ill. She is taking it into her own hands but in my opinion, its not her decision to make. You must accept the hand you were dealt. What about the living you do before you die? What about the little moments? The tenderness between caregivers and patient? What about her family that gets to soak in that smile with each visit? Just holding onto that memory not knowing when it will be the last?
I believe that my mother has come to terms with death. She is not afraid. I know that many reasons for her to hold on are not for her own benefit. (My mother is the most selfless person that I know). She fights because she wants every monute of life and she will allow whats been given to her.
Mrs. Maynard is making a mistake. Even though her life will be short, it’s worth much more than she can comprehend to her loved ones.
brieann.rn@gmail.com says
Thank you for commenting, and for sharing your personal story. I pray now for comfort for your mom, and for you also. My own mother died suddenly, and when I worked in Hospice there were times I wished I could have told her goodbye. But I was also grateful she did not suffer a lengthy illness. Thank you again. I pray God’s peace surround you all.
Junette Harper says
Thank you for your comments, Brie. I have been an RN for 34 years and watched my mother and some close friends during their last weeks on earth fighting cancer. I have also had breast cancer, 2 years clear now. I don’t believe in assisted suicide for many reasons. The main reason is that I believe that we are here on earth for a reason. Sometimes the trials/illnesses we go through are not really about US. Maybe someone else in our lives need to learn something from our illness/death. If we cut our lives short, that lesson does not get taught/learned. Maybe we are supposed to learn something from those last days or moments that we won’t learn if we end things too soon. I too believe that God will take us when it is our time to go.
brieann.rn@gmail.com says
Thank you so much for the wonderful comment. I completely agree. God bless you!