I ran my fingers through her curls, and I knew. As I gazed down at the back of my toddler’s head, finally still after a battle lost to the sandman, I knew I had come very close to making a grave error. I had come very close to allowing discontentment with mediocre routine to steal the deep-seeded satisfaction I deserved to savor at all times.
How easy it is to become dissatisfied with a job that seems unrewarding, or become frustrated with a schedule that is grueling, and busy, and hard. How slippery is the slope that leads to aggravation with the mundane day-to-day.
How often do I dream for a different way, or a better home, or a bigger kitchen? How many times do I wish life could be better, my hair could be longer, and my bank account fatter?
When and how does discontentment toward a small factor within your life lead to an overall longing for more? More time, more room, more children, more, more, more.
Does a longing for more ever lead to fulfillment, or simply lead to more? More wanting.
While a dream is dandy, and striving is sweet, can blinders of ambition blot out the obvious blessings peppered throughout the way? In my dreams for going further in life did I forget that I’m already living the dream?
When a heart loses the ability to practice gratitude what is left? The inability to see grace in all its plenty.
When eyes cease to see blessings on the battlefield then life becomes a war waged against you where you’re forever losing. Forever falling to the tactics of the enemy to steal the victory of joy. The banner of joy is the shelter that is always present, but so often we leave the shadow of its wings in search for the spoils.
So I run back to the truth. I look at the precious, blond curls, the rise and fall of a sleeping chest, and I say thank you.
Thank you for this, and thank you for that. Thank you for the things I too often lose sight of, the blessings that come in the form of hardship, or struggle, or strife. For even then I am blessed.
Forgive me when I forget, when my focus leaves you, and is blinded by the world. Forgive when I want more, or think I have less. Forgive me when I forget it is all meaningless in the face of eternity, or when I take for granted the gifts I am given.
Forgive me when I forget to be thankful, when I lose sight of gratitude, when I stumble and fall. I do that a lot.
Forgive me if I forget I am living the dream. Help me to remember a piece of it is sleeping in my lap, to impress upon me to never lose sight of that fact again.
Trish Henderson says
This is exactly where I am at today. After going through a divorce and struggling for over a year, I feel so lost and unthankful. Thank you for sharing this post to help remind me that even though things may not be great, I am still blessed very day just to be alive!
brieann.rn@gmail.com says
Thank you so much for commenting. I’m so glad this post found you where you are right at this moment.
Megan Easley-Walsh says
Great post, Brie. I especially like this line: “Does a longing for more ever lead to fulfillment, or simply lead to more? More wanting.”
brieann.rn@gmail.com says
Thank you very much Megan!
Shannon says
Can I share your blog on Facebook?
brieann.rn@gmail.com says
Please do. Thanks for asking.