Worst. I know, that’s a strong word, and I’m hesitant to use it. After all, while there may be little annoyances to any job, for the most part I can’t complain. When you decide to follow a calling, to take part in a rewarding vocation, you can typically look past any aggravations because as a whole you feel totally blessed with your job. And I do. But…
I almost wrote this post last weekend, but I talked myself out of it. I don’t like to complain or dwell on things that in the long run don’t matter. I try to look at the really important stuff, the questions like, “did I do my job to the best of my ability” or “did my patient’s outcome benefit positively based on my appropriate actions?” And when the answers are “yes” and emphatically “yes,” then I should be okay and move on. Right?
Well, that’s not always so easy. After two weekends in a row of wanting to throw my hands up, scream, forget my obligations, and just walk out, I have decided that this is the worst thing about nursing. Maltreatment, disrespect, and demeaning/degrading conduct.
I guess that’s a few words, not just one, but collectively they describe the single thing that brings me down the most about my profession, and makes it really difficult to perform to the best of my ability.
When I find myself being yelled at like I am a child, a misbehaving dog, or some lower life form, then I am taken aback. Yet even a scorned child or a mistreated animal’s offenders are punishable under laws against abuse. Not so much in nursing it seems.
Being talked down to, verbally abused, and degraded by those in pay grades above my own is simply expected. That doesn’t make it right, it just makes it the norm. I’ve realized it’s an accepted culture, this environment of disrespect for the nursing profession.
And after years nursing in different areas of the country, I hate to say it, but I believe my current geographical location, the South, is worse about this than any place. While people may say it’s not acceptable, it sadly is overlooked. Put on your big girl panties, and take the abuse!
I spent years in the military, and you would think that would make my skin tough as leather against the verbal assault of those around me, but thus far it hasn’t. As a young, enlisted Corpsman I felt certain that one day after I graduated and became a Registered Nurse that I would receive the respect a professional deserved, and I worked hard to reach that goal.
Well, I’ll admit I’ve been feeling pretty disillusioned lately on that front. I didn’t know it would be this way, and I don’t like it. I don’t like being treated like less than equal, or less of a professional simply because my scope of practice is not as advanced.
I don’t expect a “thank you,” although that would be nice. I don’t even expect an apology or an “I was wrong.” What I do expect is not to be degraded and screamed at in front of my patients, but I guess my expectations are just a little too high.
I can be told, “don’t worry about it,” or even, “he/she is such an ass,” but do those proclamations justify mistreatment of nurses everywhere?! Sigh.
I want to scream to my degraders “when you point your finger in my face or hurl insults my way you’re bringing down the entire profession of health care, not just me. You’re lowering the public’s opinion of us as a team.”
And that’s probably the worst insult of all. To us both!
Maybe I’m too sensitive, some may say, and perhaps that is my downfall. But I would like to think my soft nature is what makes me such a compassionate caregiver.
And maybe I don’t just let the insults roll off my back like some may do, but the point is, should I really be expected to do so? Should I have to be so concerned with the particulars of the various hoops through which I must jump to prevent an explosion?
I’ve wondered sometimes if I am treated less because I’m a woman, and I’ve even questioned if my husband was standing directly behind me if the situation would play out the same. I somehow doubt it would, but all my hypothesizing is fruitless when it comes down to it. It certainly hasn’t changed the outcome.
What if I would have defended myself? I often think, and then I condemn my character for not standing up stronger, and fighting back. But would that change the outcome? Would it make it hurt me any less, or take away the sting of cruel words thrown with little regard for my self worth? Probably not.
I shouldn’t take it lying down, but for some reason I do, and then I’m just left to stew in my own anger and outrage, which is the most pointless of all.
I’m just tired, tired of being treated less than human, not just like I’m less than a professional. Although that is pretty bad. Some days are worse than others, and those days I consider changing my career. While other jobs may bring just as much maltreatment, at least you’re not usually expected to maintain a high level of function amidst the abuse, and keep people alive in the middle of your festering angst.
I hoped I could end this post on a positive note, because that’s what I do. I wanted to give you some resolution, some vindication for my plight, but in the end things are the same. For now.
I guess the big question is will things ever change? Will nurses as a whole receive the respect and fair treatment as professionals that they have earned?
Perhaps one day they will, and I try to be hopeful for the future. Otherwise I might just let the turkeys drag me down. And while it is the worst thing about nursing for me, perhaps one day it won’t be, and I try to hold on to that.
Rhonda says
You are an awesome nurse! My grandmother still remembers you singing in the halls while she was there. I’m sorry you went through this again this weekend. It is demeaning, degrading and disrespectful. No one especially our SI nurses deserve that. Y’all work too hard to let one or two extremely unhappy people ruin your jouy, your light, your passion away. Keep your head up and next time we will have to take a stand. I love you and my coworkers like family. If it wasn’t for your singing on the weekends I honestly wouldn’t have made I through this summer.
brieann.rn@gmail.com says
Thank you so much!
Michelle says
I love your blog and this is the first time I’ve responded to one. I’ve been an RN for 19 years and I can say that there certainly are certain people who behave this way but I want you to take them out if the higher pay grade and make them people. Not higher than you. You are a PROFESSIONAL.
So a couple of things.
1) do not stand there and take it. Walk a way. Tell them when they are ready to talk come see you.
2) if this is a repeat offender write an incident report regarding the situation. (That way management is forced to deal with it)
3) we had “code doctor” where if a nurse was being berated by a dr all the other nurse would get physically between them and say “you can’t talk to her like that” even in front of a patient. our supervisor was standing with us.
4) this is a profession that is a calling. Continue to pray for the situation, how to deal with it AND for the person or people hurting you.
You are a nurse, not a punching bag. Remember that.
brieann.rn@gmail.com says
Thank you so much. Glad you commented. Great stuff. 🙂
Amy Garren says
Thank you for being so caring to people.. for taking such good care of mom when she was in your care and for all you do that is unrecognized .. I know you have a hard job and you do it very well. You are appreciated, I know at times people may seem that they do not care, but as a whole the human species are selfish and self absorbed and often do not even realize we might be making others around us feel unloved. Light and love sent your way and may many blessings come to you.
brieann.rn@gmail.com says
Thank you so much!
Nerida says
I just love reading your blog! I can always relate to every article you’ve written! You just know how to put into words thoughts and emotions that are so hard to express! Thanks for sharing! I always look forward each day to your blog! You are an inspiration!
brieann.rn@gmail.com says
Wow. Thanks so much! I really appreciate that encouraging comment. 🙂
Kathleen Coughlin says
I have been a nurse for 30 years. I have many times thought of doing something else, but then I remind myself why I became a nurse in the first place. I love taking care of others. I recently made a change and I currently do pediatric homecare.I have never been so greatly appreciated than I do by this 11year old child that has SMA.
He is so thankful ever time I would suction or do something for him he says THANK YOU.
I truly believe we should all take examples from these little angels.
Stand your ground and do not be made insuperior to anyone, we all deserve respect.
brieann.rn@gmail.com says
Thank you so much.
Carolyn says
I’m brand new to nursing, but spent the first 6 months being bullied, it is everywhere, but I took Michelle’s advice, and while management successfully ignored any formal complaints, on the ground level we have changed culture. I have also had the pleasure of working/studying in hospitals (Australia) where there is a multidiciplinary team where no one is superior. And it really works!
While I haven’t earned a say yet, I’m having one: walking away or saying to the abuser ‘You may not talk to me that way” reminds them they can’t, this is not a free for all, it is professionals working together for a common goal. God put you here for a reason, that reason isn’t to be walked on, but to to an excellent (and tough) job to the best of your ability.
brieann.rn@gmail.com says
Thank you so much! I really appreciate your comment.
Denise says
Wow! Maybe it is a southern thing. I live in Indiana and where I work we nurses are treated with respect and are appreciated for the most part. I guess I shouldn’t take that for granted! Degrading treatment should never be something you have to deal with. Being a nurse is an extremely demanding job and every nurse who does her best should be respected. Remember that you are a blessing to your patients and their families. I hope that carries you through your rough days! Thanks for all you do!
brieann.rn@gmail.com says
Thanks so much! All the blessings in my life overshadow this indecency which is thankfully not an every shift occurrence.
Jane Lemaster, RN, BSN says
Cultures of organizations often ignore what you are being subjected to, however, cultures can be changed. Also, nurses involved in helping one another actually deliver care to their patients do not behave in this manner toward one another. The manager sets the tone, perhaps you and like-minded nurses on your unit can go to your manager and discuss what is occurring, make offers to help effect change within your unit. If you are feeling this distressed by fellow professionals, so are others on your unit. I know exactly what you are writing about, have also had to deal with that during my practice and ABSOLUTELY KNOW it doesn’t have to be like this. You be the change agent!
Best wishes always Brie, Jane
brieann.rn@gmail.com says
Thank you for the comment. I take your advice wholeheartedly.
S says
I’ve been a nurse for 3years from the UK.. And there are days I want to shrivel up in fetal position and never go back to ward but, there are days (granted few and far between) that I love being a nurse.
Being treated like crap is the main reason I hate being a nurse, being asked constantly why Im not a doctor is insulting to me.. Like being a nurse isn’t equaly as good. I actually stumbled upon your peice after a horrendous night shift and typing in why is nursing so degrading?
I just want to thankyou from England.. Your words will help me to get up and go to my next shift tonight.
brieann.rn@gmail.com says
Thank you. Hang in there; you are not alone.
Denise, RN, BSN says
Wow! That treatment is completely unacceptable. And I am afraid if I was exposed to that consistently, I would be looking for another job! I also live in Indiana (like the other nurse named Denise who commented) and I can’t imagine having to deal with that kind of mistreatment by co-workers in addition to all of the other stressful things a critical care RN has to deal with! I will pray for you and others like you and I guess now I am even more thankful for the great working environment I have. It certainly isn’t perfect and most days I feel like I can’t do enough or keep up, but the physicians are almost always kind or at least have never yelled at us. Maybe you need to move?! Hang in there! I am sure you are a great nurse! God will give you the strength to do what He has called you to do.
brieann.rn@gmail.com says
Thank you.