My three year old has a stellar imagination, like it’s really great. I’m sure I’m partial, but I just get so proud watching her play, standing in awe at the crazy, silly things that come out of her mouth. I could probably watch and just listen for hours while she talks for her dolls, but I often times join in.
“Play with me Mom!” she’ll beg, and what parent doesn’t usually drop whatever important thing they’re doing, even if just for a moment, to sit cross-legged with your daughter in front of her Barbie dream house and play.
It’s precious moments, right? Well, usually. I’ve discovered my child is like a tiny imagination foreman. She’s the boss of playtime, and has no problem telling everyone where to position their doll, and even the exact, word-for-word dialogue that should be spoken to make the scene play out as she has envisioned. Exasperating. Seriously.
At first it was kind of cute, but over time you can only be told what you should do, step by step, so many times before you don’t want to play with her anymore. And yesterday I told her so.
“Baby, I don’t need you to tell me how to play. I know what to do. It’s no good for me being instructed on how to act.”
As the words left my mouth I felt immediate conviction, and I knew right away that my daughter probably wasn’t the only one in our house instructing her parent on what was best.
I remember years ago I wanted nothing more than to stay home with her. The thought of working filled me with dread. My heart was with my firstborn, and being with her was all I wanted to do. I had to find a way, financially, to be a stay-at-home mommy.
I began praying in earnest, which is a great thing really, but I look back on it now and it’s laughable. I would pray, “Lord, bless us financially.” And then I would pray/fantasize about a plan I thought was utterly brilliant.
“Lord, I pray that we could win Publisher’s Clearing House!” Now don’t laugh too hard folks. I’m sure if you think about it you’ve prayed for something similar, and in a lot of ways I don’t think it’s a bad thing. After all, God does want to give us the desires of our hearts. I certainly prayed for a mini-van. And I love it. Thank you Lord.
Anyway, my point is specific prayers, prayers that speak to your deepest desires aren’t all bad. They’re good. He’s our Dad. He wants to hear that stuff. But where I think I’ve had a problem in the past, such as with my lottery dream, and even have a problem with to some extent now, is thinking I have it all figured out. The fact is, I don’t.
Often times when you pray it may unconsciously, or even consciously, be more like a directive. For example, I felt certain a financial blessing in the form of a lottery win could solve all my problems. So that’s what I prayed for. “God let me win the next drawing, then I can quit work, we can get a bigger house, and I can have more babies!” Etc., etc., blah, blah. It is seriously laughable, and slightly embarrassing. Oh well.
The point is that God knew I didn’t need a winning lottery anymore than I needed a hole in the head. Do I still pray for financial blessing? Honestly? Yes. And He answers it every month when our bills are paid on time.
And I’m grateful for it. I’m grateful that He answers my prayers in His wisdom, His time, and in His way, a way that is the absolute best for me.
I’ve had a tendency, have a tendency, as I’m sure most of us do at one time or another, to think I know what’s best for my life. My prayer life in these moments closely resemble my child’s commanding play. I think I have to tell God specifically how He should do things, but as my Father He already knows what I need, and what is best.
He doesn’t need me saying, “Here, let me tell you how to do this.” He just needs my faith that He already knows.