- My goal is to live every day to its fullest, to enjoy each moment entirely. Most days I feel like we hit that pretty spot on. I am truly enjoying my 2 1/2 year old daughter. I know it’s no secret to anyone who knows me, but I am madly in love with her. I adore the way she has an answer for everything, even if that answer is nonsense. If I ask “why did you take your shoes off?” and she replies “because there’s a frog outside.” I love her independence. When I was rocking the baby, I told her when I was done we could cook dinner. Soon after, I found her in the kitchen, a chair pulled to the counter, a box of instant potatoes ripped open, and potato flakes all over the counter, floor, and some in a pot. Today she asked as I was washing dishes “get me some spray and a scrubber. I wanna wash the car.” I next saw her running outside with Lysol bathroom cleaner and the toilet brush. I quickly traded her for some soap and water in a spray bottle and a sponge. I encourage her wanting to help me clean, cook, or any other task she wants to tackle.
- It’s so important to me to soak up every moment when I realize they’re speeding by. Ben commented today that he wished both girls could stay the age they are right now. I quickly told him I couldn’t breastfeed forever. But I totally knew what he meant. I recently saw a toddler girl. She was so cute and chubby. You know the cute chubby where their feet are still fat. I had not truly realized until I compared her and my daughter, that Chloe had moved past toddler while I wasn’t looking. Chloe has shot up in height and slimmed up, now more resembling the little girl she is becoming rather than the toddler she once was. I see my little girl outside today with her long pony tail curled up at the end, and even longer legs, and I just can’t stop watching her. I’m not sure if it’s fear she’s gonna hurt herself out there, or fear that if I look away she’ll come back from the swing set a 10 year old. So I just keep watching. I watch her move from cleaning the car, to cleaning all her ride on toys, then her playhouse, then the slide, and finally the sandbox, before she heads back to cleaning the car with a now muddy sponge. I can’t stop watching for more reasons than one, for sure.
- I do enjoy each day, as I said, but I understand the sad days too. I know the days when I miss my Mom and wish she knew my babies. I know days when I may not be content with where I am in life compared to the dreams of where I want to be. I know days when so much tragedy and evil can come to surface all around you in such a way that it’s extremely disheartening. I thought this morning that I’m not sure how people who don’t know Christ and have a relationship with God that offers hope and an end to pain, how they can move past tragedy. I do know that God is there whether you take advantage of the wonderful benefits a relationship with Him entails or not. I thought of a time when I pushed Him away, and tried to live a life on my own. I thought of my life before I even knew Him. I know He had His hand on me even then. I don’t know why bad people do bad things. I don’t know why there has to be pain, even to good people. I do know that He is in control, and that knowledge gives me peace even in the turmoil. Who wouldn’t want that. I look at my kids, and I see a future. There are good people in this world, and there is hope. I will enjoy every moment of each day, even if sadness comes; there is hope.
That is all 🙂