- It’s a Motrin kinda day. If they didn’t put me straight to sleep, I might even dig out the full bottle of Lortab they sent me home with after Bailey was born. What’s wrong Brie, you ask with concern. Well, you know since I’m extremely brilliant and all, I decided to embark on my very own fitness journey from my living room rug. Perhaps you’ve seen the infomercial for this wonderful product called P90X. I actually ordered it after Chloe was born. I recall sitting up in the bed with my boppy pillow and nursing my first born at 2 am. That was when I first saw this epic DVD compilation that featured flabby men and fluffy housewives regaining the buff bodies of their youth. My first thought was “I can do that!” My second thought was that’s a little expensive. (I am such a cheapskate that I’m surprised I don’t make Ben pee in a jug to save on the water bill). So naturally I rerouted to eBay to find the product at a cheaper price. I then rushed to purchase the product 1/2 price from an unknown seller from China with great reviews. I later, when my package was late and untrackable, discovered the reviews were all suspiciously from the same reviewer. Yes. I ended up purchasing it from the official Beach Body website. Even seeing the name of that website makes me shake my head at my own unrealistic expectations.
- It’s a 90 day program. I’m proud to say that previously I adhered to the program 7 days a week, without fail, for 45 days straight. That’s pretty good I think. I guess you gotta do the full 90 days though, since I lost exactly 0 lbs previously. I had better luck taking the stairs at work. Since I had such a stellar result last time, I naturally decided to dig it out of the closet this week. I felt pretty confident after Bailey was born, but the past couple of weeks I’ve found myself really critiquing my figure and the refusal of the scale to budge from the stubborn number it’s stuck on. So Monday I decided to start with my main complaint area and put in the 15 minute video titled Ab Ripper X. Doesn’t that just sound like a nice little workout to get you started? I also did 10 minutes of the Cardio workout. Don’t laugh. I’m sure I would have done the whole thing if the baby hadn’t woke up! Yesterday I felt just a twinge of soreness in my upper abdomen and thought “maybe I’m not as bad off as I thought!” I thought this even as I knew better. Sure enough, today I awoke and realized I must be leading a double life as a secret agent and overnight I was tortured for information by beating me with sandbags on my ribs and thighs. Earlier I sneezed and the aftermath made me want to cry.
- So why do we do this to ourselves? I know from the last child that until my body is ready to loose the weight, I’m not going to. I realize that while I’m breastfeeding so frequently, that I’ll constantly be starving and can take no supplement or the like to diminish my teenage boy appetite. My poor husband tells me this a lot. He has to listen to my mumbled insults of myself. I got to thinking about it and I realized I’m probably not being very appreciative of the body God gave me and He probably doesn’t take joy in me insulting myself. I can desire to lead a healthier life by eating fruit instead of chocolate. I can exercise to strengthen the body I’ve been gifted with. I can desire and make changes to return to the weight that my body is most comfortable with. What I cannot do is degrade myself when it’s not quite there yet. Self hatred will solve nothing and only sadden those who love me like my husband. And what of my impressionable two year old? What am I teaching her? So today I vow to take it a little easier on myself and to love me a little bit more. I could love me a lot more if it didn’t hurt to open the fridge, but it’s a start. Right?
That is all 🙂