- Today’s facts will mostly surround my new daughter, Bailey. She deserves this from her Momma. Bailey slept a lot yesterday and I didn’t think too much about it. Rather, I used the time to try and catch up on thank you notes, etc. She went to bed easily enough, but I noticed she kept waking up frequently. Before bed she spit up. There seemed to be a lot of spit mixed with the milk, but again this escaped me. Starting around 2 am, she seemed quite restless and was grunting a lot. Around 3 am, I got up with her, as feeding and patting weren’t getting her back to sleep. She spit up again which was odd for a baby that rarely spits up. I couldn’t seem to console her. None of my usual “colic holds” were working. When I was about ready to throw in the towel, my dear hubby appeared and took over for a while. He had to work, where I didn’t, yet he still got up to help me! We collectively got her back to sleep by 5 am. It all started again less than 3 hours later. This time, though, I noticed a nasal congestion sound. Her little eyes were red rimmed, as was her tiny nostrils. I was able to get a surprisingly large amount of snot suctioned out of those tiny nostrils. My newborn baby was sick! How could I have let this happen? I began trying to pinpoint when the contamination had occurred; like that would do any good!
- I started to look up RSV in newborns on the Internet. Don’t ever do that! Ben was getting ready to leave for work and I was trying to hide from him that I was about to break down crying (I didn’t want him to be late). I didn’t do very good, as I let it slip from my lips that babies could die from RSV. Poor man, having to live with a woman who knows just enough to be a nervous wreck! I continued to watch my baby and pray a lot! It began to occur to me how angry I feel when she’s fussy and stays awake in the middle of the night. I thought about how much her shrill cry bothers me when I can’t quell it. I did not remember being so impatient with Chloe. I know it’s harder to take care of a newborn when you’re taking care of a toddler too, but at this time, I was filled with guilt and conviction. I had not given Bailey the same patience and understanding that I had with Chloe. I almost felt like I had been taking this precious little life for granted! Suddenly, with sickness racking her tiny body, I was fearful and wondered what I would do if I lost her. Don’t laugh at me. I know it’s a common virus. But these are the feelings that fell upon me this morning. I asked God to forgive me where I fell short as a Mother and promised not to take the gift of her beautiful life for granted another moment!
- Bailey’s lungs were clear as I listened to them and she wasn’t running a fever, but her nasal congestion was worse and accompanied by a cough. So, considering her age, I decided a Dr. visit was warranted. I got my Mother-in-Law to watch Chloe. As I drove Bailey to her appt., a song by Amy Grant called Better Than a Hallelujah came on the radio. It’s about how God loves when we cry out to Him in moments of weakness. At that time, I began to cry. The weight of how these past few weeks had stressed me out became all too apparent to me then. I cried out to God and it felt good. Even the strongest person needs to break down sometimes. As suspected, Bailey, tested positive for RSV. She was prescribed some medicine, but thankfully they didn’t think she needed to be hospitalized or anything. I’m blessed that her breathing and appetite are both very good. I know she will be fine. My ever sweet husband met me there and went to the pharmacy for us and waited in the long line before he had to go back to work. A little bit ago, Chloe told her Nonnie she missed me and was ready to go home. Yes, I was secretly pleased. I was also glad for the time Bailey and I had gotten alone together. So, I now have both of my precious, sick little girls at home with me. I love them both so much and after something as simple as a invasion of germs in our home; I hold them a lot closer, never forgetting for a moment how wonderful the gift of being their Mommy is.
That is all 🙂
Attached is a sad pic of my sick baby 🙁